According to the Daily News, the Yankees may be put up for sale by the family Steinbrenner. The most valuable team in American sports- if not all of sports (I’m not really up on the price of Europe’s soccer teams these days) could, possibly, maybe, be put up for sale. Allow me to do the sales pitch for them:

Are you a wealthy member of the 1%? Do you want to be seen, talked about and generally known? Do you like hanging out with celebrities like Billy Crystal, Jay-Z, Spike Lee and Alec Baldwin? Do you have an insatiable desire for victory and an irrational hatred of facial hair?

Then we have the sports franchise for you! The New York Yankees, winners of 27 World Series and 40 AL pennants, and the team of Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle, Berra and Jeter, are for sale. The current owner, the Steinbrenner Family, bought the team from CBS in 1973 for just over 8 million dollars, and has since greatly increased the team’s valuation. Sale includes new Yankee Stadium, the Yankees Entertainment and Sports Network (YES), and all current player contracts. Yes, even Alex Rodriguez’s. But don’t worry, despite the revenue-sharing placed upon you by the other 29 MLB teams, you still will hold a vast advantage over most other teams due to your market size, prestige, and creative accounting.

Beginning asking price is 3 billion US dollars and includes a vigorous vetting process by Major League Baseball, the New York City press, big-name Yankee fans and politicians from the City, County and State of New York.

All questions and requests can be sent to One East 161st Street, Bronx, New York. Sorry, due to demand, we cannot take Jeter autograph requests.