Tag Archives: Cubs

(Humor) Things Cubs players would still be able to do

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Jeff Passan has an article on how the Union is worried that the contracts being offered by teams like the Cubs could be a slow march to non-guaranteed contracts on par with the NFL. You can read the article for the full details, but in essence, they are worried that the expansion of the “conversion clause” that allows a team to turn it into a non-guaranteed contract if a player does something. It’s a call-back to the eighties, when everybody was worried about all the cocaine going around, but now-a-days the MLBPA is worried about the implications that teams could not only use the clause to extend it to PEDs, but to, well, anything.

Like, take this snippet apparently from a Cubs contract, meant to list out restricted activities that could allow the Cubs to turn the contact into non-guaranteed if there was an injury. Passan notes that due to the way some parts of the contract were originally written, they could have in theory been able to convert the contract for even the most mild of injuries doing these activities:

“(A)uto racing, motorcycling, piloting, co-piloting, learning to operate, or serving as a crew member of, an aircraft, being a passenger in a single engine airplane or private plane, hot air ballooning, parachuting, skydiving, hang gliding, bungee jumping, horseback riding, horse racing, harness racing, fencing, boxing, wrestling, karate, judo, jujitsu, any other form of martial arts activity, use of an All Terrain Vehicle (‘ATV’), skiing (water or snow), snowmobiling, bobsledding, luging, ice hockey, ice boating, field hockey, squash, spelunking, basketball, football, softball, white water canoeing or rafting, kayaking, jai-alai, lacrosse, soccer, tennis, rodeo, bicycle racing, motor boat racing, polo, rugby, rodeo, handball, volleyball, in-line or other roller skating, surfing, hunting, paddleball, racquetball, archery, wood chopping, mountain climbing, boating, any weightlifting not prescribed by or approved in advance by Club (said approval not to be unreasonably withheld), participation in the ‘Superteams’ or ‘Superstars’ activities (or any like activity) or other made-for-television or made-for-motion picture athletic competitions…”

That’s a big list, and the union was- if I’m reading this right- worried that such a big list and the vague writing of the contract could have allowed the Cubs to NFL-ize the contracts of anybody who, say, had a slight sprain during a pick-up basketball game or had a soccer ball hit them in the nuts. Thankfully, that vague language has been changed, so now the they probably have to actually get shot by a bow-and-arrow or falling down a cliff while mountain climbing for their deal to become non-guaranteed.

Still, even if they WERE in danger of seeing their guaranteed contracts going poof if they got hurt doing those above activities, they still have many activities they still could have done:

  • Golf
  • Bowling
  • Bocce
  • Ballroom dancing
  • Water Polo (regular polo is prohibited, however)
  • Paragliding (hang-gliding is prohibited, however)
  • Badminton
  • Australian-Rules Football
  • Sepaw Takraw (AKA Malaysian Foot-Volleyball)
  • Korfball (AKA Dutch Basketball)
  • Kickball
  • Pesapallo (AKA Finnish Baseball)
  • Snowboarding (Surfing, Skating and Skiing are prohibited, however)
  • Shuffleboard
  • Dodgeball
  • Ultimate Frisbee
  • Unicycling (bicycling and motorcycling are prohibited)
  • Tug of War
  • Trading Card Games
  • Paintball
  • Laser Tag
  • Billiards
  • Fishing
  • Playing “Go Fish”
  • Darts
  • Gymnastics
  • Flying a kite
  • Table Tennis
  • Most Track and Field events
  • Hurling (AKA Irish Field Hockey, sort of)
  • Bandy (Russian Ice Hockey but with a ball instead of a puck)
  • Hide and Seek
  • Tag
  • Team Handball (regular Handball is prohibited)
  • Chess
  • Checkers
  • Battle of the Nations
  • Connect Four
  • Quidditch
  • Thumb-War
  • Horseshoes
  • Blernsball
  • Rollerball
  • Calvinball
  • Podracing
  • Video Games
  • Jeopardy!
  • Staring Contests
  • Scootering
  • Segway Racing
  • Uno
  • Monopoly
  • Baseball itself!

…Oh, wait, there is this at the very end:

“…or any other sport, activity, or negligent act involving a reasonably foreseeable substantial risk of personal injury or death.”

Well, there goes those. Good thing the Union was able to get a change in the language of the Cubs contracts, otherwise, they could have ended up with people getting their contracts non-guaranteed after paper-cuts while playing Uno.

Baseball Card Haiku Project #9: 1994 Pinnacle Sammy Sosa

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In which I write Haiku-style poetry about a potpourri of baseball cards I found in a value pack. Because, well, it’s my blog.

1994 Pinnacle Sammy Sosa

SammySosa94PinnacleSlide, Sammy Sosa

You aren’t quite a slugger yet

Give it a few years

It’s the 20th Anniversary of “Rookie Of The Year”, here’s what I have to say about that

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Pulling the curtain for a second, an admission:

I originally had this big plan where I would watch the now-20-year-old kid-baseball classic Rookie of the Year and figure out the statistics for it’s main character, Henry Rowengartner. But, alas, it was not to be: I inadvertently deleted it from my DVR, ruining my opportunity to bring the world such great baseball scholarship. One day, perhaps.

Still, some thoughts on Rookie of the Year:

Rookie of the Year was part of an early 90s mini-fad of baseball movies sparked by the late-80s success of Kevin Costner’s films and Major League. Other baseball movies from this time period include The Sandlot, A League of Their Own and Little Big League. I saw them on VHS when I was like five or six, possibly more times than was healthy. And, although in hindsight The Sandlot and A League of Their Own* were the best of the early 90s bunch, I think I watched Rookie of the Year and Little Big League more. It makes sense, come to think of it: They were wish-fulfillment tales. Who doesn’t wish to make it to the big leagues in some way? Heck, who doesn’t wish they could be doing it when they are still kids?

Anyway, for those of you who don’t know the story, Rookie of the Year is a semi-remake of an obscure movie called Roogie’s Bump. In the film, Henry Rowengartner, a baseball-loving boy in his early teens, suffers a strange injury that heals in such a way that his arm suddenly becomes able to throw MLB-level heat. The Cubs sign him, and, well, you can probably guess how the rest of the story goes.

While the film is unrealistic and pretty formulaic, it still is a fun watch, especially with John Candy as an announcer for the Cubs who opens up the movie with this ever-so-true line:

Opening Day at Wrigley, and oh what a sight! The diamond, the decorations, and the dread of yet another losing season.

 

Really, there isn’t much more that can be said, other than that as part of the Anniversary there have been a few articles about it.

For example, Yahoo!’s Mike Oz talked a bit to star Thomas Ian Nicholas (who has since gone on to star in the American Pie films) and director/supporting actor Daniel Stern about it. From it, I learned that, for example, John Candy was not originally involved with the film, but the studio liked the close-to-finished product enough that they let the producers hire John Candy to film a few scenes and voiceovers for the film.

Meanwhile, as a extra to Sports Illustrated‘s “Where Are They Now” issue, screenwriter Sam Harper revealed what happened to Henry after the film. Turns out that similar injuries led to him having brief careers in football and bowling.

So, if you see Rookie of the Year on cable in the coming days, feel free to think back to this post and those other articles. And also think how funky-buttloving (you’d get it if you saw the movie) awesome my look at Henry Rowengartner’s stats would have been.

*True story: I almost had a cameo in A League of Their Own as a redheaded toddler grandchild in the Cooperstown scenes at the end. But according to family legend, my parents didn’t want to drive all the way to Cooperstown for the shoot, especially since if I cried they’d probably just have some other 1-year-old do it and they’d have driven all the way to Cooperstown for nothing. And that, friends, is why Daniel J. Glickman doesn’t have an IMDB page noting his uncredited cameo in A League of Their Own.

There is a Minor Leaguer named “Rock Shoulders”

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Is Rock Shoulders a great name, or the greatest name? We may never know.