Introduction:
Superman vs. Batman. Godzilla vs. King Kong. Kirk vs. Picard.
Questions such as these have raged since the beginning of time. All types of media have tried to answer questions such as this. Heck, recently Nintendo released the first trailers for the latest incarnation of Super Smash Brothers, a series based entirely on the question of whether Mario could beat the snot out of Pikachu (amongst others) and similar questions.
But to the best of my memory, nobody has ever answered the question of who would win in a fight between all of the team-names of Major League Baseball. From the Atlanta Braves to the Washington Nationals, what would win?
Truly, this had to be a massive undertaking, taking into account history, science, tradition and countless other areas of knowledge. Nothing less than the most complete look at each of the warriors could do justice. Well, sort of.
You see, I am automatically going to disqualify teams that are inanimate objects. Therefore, the Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals (which is technically named after the American Royal Livestock Show, and not the idea of being kings), Oakland Athletics (which is just derived from being an Athletic club), Philadelphia Phillies, Cincinnati Reds (given that they are not actually communists), Washington Nationals (derived from being in the National League) and Colorado Rockies are all tied for last place. Now, let us go below the jump to take a look at our combatants: