Best of 2015- “Deep Dream” turns baseball images into nightmares

Originally published July 17, 2015.

Hey kids, it’s Hunter Pence!

Good old Hunter Pence, sticking his tongue out and diving for the ball…. now, let’s have Google’s Deep Dream take a look at Hunter Pence! It’s meant to show how a computer looks at things looking for images and such. So, what does it see with Hunter Pence?

73de0cc0-009f-41a1-b44d-4d2d3856baf7AHHHHHHHH!

wally_laying_down_1024x768Oh, Wally. You scared me there. I was worried for a second…

8944e81b-570c-4e4b-969a-99ca298e0725AHHHHHH! PLEASE GOD GET IT AWAY FROM ME, AHHHHH!

AP_arod_alex_rodriguez_tk_130805_16x9_992Oh. Alex Rodriguez, you don’t look nearly as demonic in person as some people on the internet say…

abfe74ee-00a9-4efc-8090-d8977989a9d9I TAKE IT ALL BACK, PLEASE DON’T EAT MY SOUL!

2213852Huh, a Dodger Dog and some beer. There are worse things, I suppose…

6901315e-5cb8-40b1-92fc-a3e51ad9ab3fNOOOO DEAR GOD, IT’S BECOME LIKE A HORSE-FISH-DOG-CTHULHU THING! OH, THE HUMANITY!

MrMetOh no…

6b4972dc-3704-4111-b4dd-646b607df3c8Nonononononononononono

8e903468-e4bd-43a1-8f7b-5fe8564aac6bOhgodohgodohgodohgod…

71955ed4-6ff4-4f76-ae9e-0d317d028689WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY

ac04c43f-60c1-402a-bafc-633b8429a4d8YOU MADE THE HOME RUN SCULPTURE WEIRDER?!?! HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT!?!?!

2af8eb9f-0cc3-4984-bf18-170e4346a1d6THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE A BASEBALL GLOVE NOT A MANY-EYED MONSTER BEYOND MAN’S COMPREHENSION! I’M OUT OF HERE BEFORE I LOSE MY SANITY!

Oh, but the Art-Deco functions and stuff are cool:

41b181df-63ff-4b87-a5a8-c3622689786eCome back this weekend for Bizarre Baseball Culture, and until then experiment with the Deep Dream stuff over at Dreamscope.

“Deep Dream” turns baseball images into nightmares

Hey kids, it’s Hunter Pence!

Good old Hunter Pence, sticking his tongue out and diving for the ball…. now, let’s have Google’s Deep Dream take a look at Hunter Pence! It’s meant to show how a computer looks at things looking for images and such. So, what does it see with Hunter Pence?

73de0cc0-009f-41a1-b44d-4d2d3856baf7AHHHHHHHH!

wally_laying_down_1024x768Oh, Wally. You scared me there. I was worried for a second…

8944e81b-570c-4e4b-969a-99ca298e0725AHHHHHH! PLEASE GOD GET IT AWAY FROM ME, AHHHHH!

AP_arod_alex_rodriguez_tk_130805_16x9_992Oh. Alex Rodriguez, you don’t look nearly as demonic in person as some people on the internet say…

abfe74ee-00a9-4efc-8090-d8977989a9d9I TAKE IT ALL BACK, PLEASE DON’T EAT MY SOUL!

2213852Huh, a Dodger Dog and some beer. There are worse things, I suppose…

6901315e-5cb8-40b1-92fc-a3e51ad9ab3fNOOOO DEAR GOD, IT’S BECOME LIKE A HORSE-FISH-DOG-CTHULHU THING! OH, THE HUMANITY!

MrMetOh no…

6b4972dc-3704-4111-b4dd-646b607df3c8Nonononononononononono

8e903468-e4bd-43a1-8f7b-5fe8564aac6bOhgodohgodohgodohgod…

71955ed4-6ff4-4f76-ae9e-0d317d028689WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY

ac04c43f-60c1-402a-bafc-633b8429a4d8YOU MADE THE HOME RUN SCULPTURE WEIRDER?!?! HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT!?!?!

2af8eb9f-0cc3-4984-bf18-170e4346a1d6THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE A BASEBALL GLOVE NOT A MANY-EYED MONSTER BEYOND MAN’S COMPREHENSION! I’M OUT OF HERE BEFORE I LOSE MY SANITY!

Oh, but the Art-Deco functions and stuff are cool:

41b181df-63ff-4b87-a5a8-c3622689786eCome back this weekend for Bizarre Baseball Culture, and until then experiment with the Deep Dream stuff over at Dreamscope.

Mark Hamburger and Spikes: America’s Newest Comedy Duo

The setting, Frontier Field in Rochester, NY. July 4th. For some reason, the fireworks aren’t working yet. Desperate to keep the fans from getting annoyed, two heroes emerge: reliever Mark Hamburger and team mascot Spikes.

They do Yoga. Hilarity ensues.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

DOWNWARD DOG

 

Semi-Handstand.... Spikes was having trouble...

Semi-Handstand…. Spikes was having trouble…

Deeeeepppp breathing....

Deeeeepppp breathing….

Leg Lift.....

Leg Lift…..

Oh... oh dear, Spikes...

Oh… oh dear, Spikes…

This is called the Warrior pose, right? I can't remember much from the Wii Fit Trainer...

This is called the Warrior pose, right? I can’t remember much from the Wii Fit Trainer…

Up....

Up….

Down....

Down….

Okay, I'd fall over on my face....

Okay, I’d fall over on my face….

 

Holy cow.

Holy cow.

Okay, that's really impressive, he held himself up there for several seconds, long enough for me to take two pictures.

Okay, that’s really impressive, he held himself up there for several seconds, long enough for me to take two pictures.

And then, after I had finished taking pictures… HE STRAIGHT UP BREAK-DANCED.

Seriously, here’s the aftermath:

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESSo… yeah… that’s something you don’t see every game.

The Grandest Question: Who would win in a fight? (Humor)

Introduction:

Superman vs. Batman. Godzilla vs. King Kong. Kirk vs. Picard.

Questions such as these have raged since the beginning of time. All types of media have tried to answer questions such as this. Heck, recently Nintendo released the first trailers for the latest incarnation of Super Smash Brothers, a series based entirely on the question of whether Mario could beat the snot out of Pikachu (amongst others) and similar questions.

But to the best of my memory, nobody has ever answered the question of who would win in a fight between all of the team-names of Major League Baseball. From the Atlanta Braves to the Washington Nationals, what would win?

Truly, this had to be a massive undertaking, taking into account history, science, tradition and countless other areas of knowledge. Nothing less than the most complete look at each of the warriors could do justice. Well, sort of.

You see, I am automatically going to disqualify teams that are inanimate objects. Therefore, the Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, Houston Astros, Kansas City Royals (which is technically named after the American Royal Livestock Show, and not the idea of being kings), Oakland Athletics (which is just derived from being an Athletic club), Philadelphia Phillies, Cincinnati Reds (given that they are not actually communists), Washington Nationals (derived from being in the National League) and Colorado Rockies are all tied for last place. Now, let us go below the jump to take a look at our combatants:

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