Nothing good can happen tonight in Mets-Dodgers

(The following is about 90% sarcastic. I hope.)

Given that Chase Utley is going to be eligible, here are a few possibilities of what could happen tonight:

Scenario One: Nothing.

Utley doesn’t play. There are boos and stuff during the pre-game and during the game, but no retaliation is done and it more-or-less is uneventful. However, this just means that the bad stuff will happen later. This is the least-bad scenario.

Scenario Two: The Mets Go Bad

The Mets are America’s darlings right now and most everyone is feeling for them after what happened. However, imagine if tonight Chase Utley doesn’t play, but the Mets go for their vengeance anyway. Perhaps they do a hard slide against a Dodgers middle-infielder, or decide that Adrian Gonzalez would make a nice substitute for Utley at the plate? Then, all the sudden the Mets look like just as big of bullies as the Dodgers, and while the home crowd will eat it up, almost everyone else will be disgusted.

Scenario Three: The Carousel of Boos

Utley plays, but doesn’t do much at the plate or in the field and the Mets don’t retaliate either. He just hears very loud boos all night long. One of the least-bad scenarios.

Scenario Four: Taken Vengeance

This scenario is simple: Harvey or another Mets pitcher pegs Chase Utley with a pitch. Maybe they get thrown out, maybe they don’t. Whatever happens, though, Utley just walks to first, knowing that he deserved that. The score more-or-less settled, the game goes on.

Scenario Five: Throwdown in Flushing

Like the above scenario, except Utley, possessed by some strange demon, charges the mound. Low-level fisticuffs are had, people’s mothers are insulted, there is pushing and shoving, and both Utley and the pitcher who hit him is sent to the showers, perhaps with other players as well. It’s a bad look for MLB and the two teams.

Scenario Six: Doomsday

You’d think the above would be the worst scenario. You would be wrong. Here’s the worst scenario:

Utley plays. In his first AB, he homers or does some other big play that scores runs for the the Dodgers. The fans are incensed, especially because they believe he should have been suspended. Things are thrown on the field, the game is delayed for a time, security is heightened.

And then things get worse. The Dodgers start to go nuts at the plate, running up the score. And then, during his second AB, Utley gets beaned. All hell breaks loose. The benches clear, the bullpens empty, actual punches are thrown. In the chaos, fans who have been drinking for most of the day (it’s Columbus Day and some will have been off, after all) begin to rush the field. NYPD and stadium security is hapless as anarchy descends upon CitiField. Bartolo Colon throws a trident. One player is caught on camera knocking out a drunk with one punch. Mr. Met’s head inexplicably ends up on eBay.

When the dust finally settles, the game is called and the Mets forfeit Game 3, leading to outright soccer-style rioting outside of the stadium that eventually leads to the Mets also forfeiting Game 4 and thus the series. The entire incident goes down in history as the ugliest fan moment in baseball history since at least Disco Demolition Night.

 

So, yeah, this could ugly.

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