Category Archives: Baseball

Bizarre Baseball Culture: SHORTSTOP SQUAD (AKA “Ripken, Larkin, Jeter and A-Rod fight Faux-Godzilla”)

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In Bizarre Baseball Culture, I take a look at some of the more unusual places where baseball has reared it’s head in pop culture and fiction.

In the last years of the 20th century and the first years of the 21st, there existed a company called “Ultimate Sports Force”. It is gone now, existing only in old websites and undeleted news items, but in it’s day, it was a staple advertisement in things like Sports Illustrated for Kids.

What was “Ultimate Sports Force”, you ask?

Ultimate Sports Force was a comic company that made books in which professional athletes were superheroes, that’s what! They had licenses with MLB, NBA, NFL and others, and they made comics that involved them saving the world. And then, like a shooting star across the sky, they were gone.

But, oh, man, the stuff they left behind. I’ve come into possession of many of their great products, and while their quality varies from “surprisingly good” to “OH-DEAR-GOD-KILL-IT-WITH-FIRE”, they all represent a special point in our history, a time when we could think of our sports heroes as actual superheroes, and not individuals who got into arguments, used PEDs, had tumultuous love lives, politics we disagree with or other flaws. No, Ultimate Sports Force was the last Golden Age before we all became so jaded.

Perhaps the crown jewel of Ultimate Sports Force’s non-team-affiliated content was Shortstop Squad. Truly a marvel of the Bizarre Baseball Culture arts, it paid tribute to those that went before and followed in their traditions, as Cal Ripken led his team of Barry Larkin, Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez against a fish-monster that basically is meant to be fish-Godzilla.

You may think I’m being sarcastic, and you are probably right, but, well, this is SHORTSTOP SQUAD, so your logic is irrelevant.

After all, just LOOK at this cover:

SHORTSTOPSQUADcover

Your mind is now blown.

So, let’s get started with Shortstop Squad #1 from 1999… after the jump, of course:

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Headlines from around the Continuum: October 25, 2013

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Baseball-related headlines from the Newseum:

(Note that I try to copy the style of the paper as well, hence why some are in ALL CAPS while others aren’t. Also, I ignored extremely basic headlines like “World Series Preview” or “Cardinals Win”)

Story: Cardinals even up series with 4-2 win in Game 2

News-Gazette (Champaign, Ill.): TURNING THE TABLES

The Hawk Eye (Burlington, Iowa): A big pick-me-up

Portland (Maine) Press Herald: One for the birds: Cardinals pull even

Boston Globe: Reversal of fortune at Fenway

Boston Herald: HOUSE OF CARDS

Herald News (Fall River, Mass.): OUTGUNNED

Cape Cod Times: Fall in Fenway

Joplin (Mo.) Globe: YOUNG GUNS

Springfield (Mo.) News-Leader: CARDINAL WAY

St. Louis Post-Dispatch: SAFELY HOME (this was the Sports Page headline, shown on ESPN this morning)

Providence Journal: Not enough this time

El Expreso de Campeche (San Francisco de Campeche, Mexico): PICOTAZO (roughly translates as “PECK” or “PECKED”)

 

(The rest are rather generic)

Mr. Octobers of Yesterday (October 24, 2013)

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The Mr. Octobers of last night are Carlos Martinez and David Ortiz. Yes, David Ortiz was on the losing team, but his two hits and two RBIs (the result of a HR) made him the biggest offensive force of the game. As for Martinez, he spent two innings making the Red Sox look like fools, including this utterly amazing pitch to finish Shane Victorino. It helped keep the Cardinals in the game.

Standings (PP= Position Player, P= Pitcher):

PP David Ortiz– 28

PP Carlos Beltran– 16

P Koji Uehara– 16

P Justin Verlander– 14

P Michael Wacha– 13

P Jon Lester– 13

P Clayton Kershaw– 11

P Max Scherzer– 11

PP Shane Victorino– 11

P Zack Greinke– 10

P Carlos Martinez- 10

P Adam Wainwright– 9

PP Jhonny Peralta – 8

PP Matt Holliday– 8

PP Adrian Gonzalez– 8

PP David Freese – 6

PP Miguel Cabrera– 6

P Anibal Sanchez – 5

P Hyun-jin Ryu– 5

PP Yasiel Puig– 5

P Carlos Martinez– 5

P John Lackey– 5

PP Austin Jackson– 5

P Doug Fister– 5

PP Mike Napoli– 5

P Sonny Gray-3

P Gerrit Cole– 3

PP Pedro Alvarez– 3

P Mike Minor– 3

PP Hanley Ramirez– 3

PP Yoenis Cespedes– 3

P Jason Grilli– 3

PP Carl Crawford– 3

P Chris Capuano– 3

PP Seth Smith– 3

P Dan Otero– 3

PP Jose Lobaton-3

P Jake McGee-3

PP Juan Uribe-3

PP (Position Player) Russell Martin– 1

P (Pitcher) Francisco Liriano– 1

PP Desmond Jennings– 1

P Alex Cobb– 1

2013 World Series Game 2 in one gif

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Holy cow, that Carlos Martinez slider is beautiful. And it also shows how much trouble the Red Sox found themselves when they ended up down after their disastrous defensive inning in the 7th: the Cardinals grow nasty relievers on trees, and that puts a monkey-wrench in the usual Red Sox strategy of working up the pitch-count of opposing starters and then going after the bullpens.

“Mr. Octobers” and “Headlines” are coming up in the coming hours, and by the end of the day, we have a very special edition of “Bizarre Baseball Culture”.

Headlines from around the Continuum: October 24, 2013

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(Note that I try to copy the style of the paper as well, hence why some are in ALL CAPS while others aren’t. Also, I ignored extremely basic headlines like “World Series Preview”)

Story: Red Sox beat Cardinals in Game 1, 8-1

Hartford (CT) Courant: Hot Start On A Cold Night

Belleville (IL) News-Democrat: Rough start for Wainwright, Cardinals

The News-Gazette (Champaign, IL): FOR PETE’S SAKE (with image of Pete Kozma’s error)

Messenger-Inquirer (Owensboro, Ky.): RED SOCKED

Boston Globe: Red Sox are the whole show

The Herald News (Fall River, Mass.): Coming out swinging

Cape Cod Times: Red Sox bring it

Taunton (Mass.) Daily Gazette: STRIKING EARLY

News Tribune (Jefferson City, Mo.): CARDS SOCKED

News-Leader (Springfield, Mo.): FENWAY FIASCO

(The St. Louis Post-Dispatch had a large ad at the top talking about a poster giveaway tomorrow, and a small cartoon at the bottom depicting a Cardinal having a ball hit it’s head with the caption “Beantown Bash”.)

Concord (NH) Monitor: Strong opening statement

Texarkana Gazette: LIVING THE DREAM (on how Texarkana natives Will Middlebrooks and Michael Wacha are both in the World Series)

El Universal (Cartagena, Colombia): Los Medias Rojas pegaron primero (roughly “The Red Sox strike first”)

Vanguardia (Saltillo, Mexico): !PEGA BOSTON PRIMERO! (Roughly translates as “Boston hits first!”)

(Most others, including those from other countries, are either extremely similar to the above ones or are extremely boring.)

Mr. Octobers of Yesterday (October 23, 2013)

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While some could argue the MVPs for the Red Sox yesterday were the Cardinals’ defense in the first three or so innings of the game, in reality the Mr. Octobers are Jon Lester (who pitched 7.2 shutout innings) and David Ortiz (who had 3 RBIs and would have had 4 more if not for Carlos Beltran sacrificing his ribs stopping a would-be grand slam).

We’re in the World Series now, so that means a 10-point addition for each of them! And that is good enough to shoot “Big Papi” to the top and place Lester above every “eliminated” player except for Justin Verlander.

Standings (PP= Position Player, P= Pitcher):

PP David Ortiz– 18

PP Carlos Beltran– 16

P Koji Uehara– 16

P Justin Verlander– 14

P Michael Wacha– 13

P Jon Lester– 13

P Clayton Kershaw– 11

P Max Scherzer– 11

PP Shane Victorino– 11

P Zack Greinke– 10

P Adam Wainwright– 9

PP Jhonny Peralta – 8

PP Matt Holliday– 8

PP Adrian Gonzalez– 8

PP David Freese – 6

PP Miguel Cabrera– 6

P Anibal Sanchez – 5

P Hyun-jin Ryu– 5

PP Yasiel Puig– 5

P Carlos Martinez– 5

P John Lackey– 5

PP Austin Jackson– 5

P Doug Fister– 5

PP Mike Napoli– 5

P Sonny Gray-3

P Gerrit Cole– 3

PP Pedro Alvarez– 3

P Mike Minor– 3

PP Hanley Ramirez– 3

PP Yoenis Cespedes– 3

P Jason Grilli– 3

PP Carl Crawford– 3

P Chris Capuano– 3

PP Seth Smith– 3

P Dan Otero– 3

PP Jose Lobaton-3

P Jake McGee-3

PP Juan Uribe-3

PP (Position Player) Russell Martin– 1

P (Pitcher) Francisco Liriano– 1

PP Desmond Jennings– 1

P Alex Cobb– 1

Game 1 of the World Series summed up in one GIF

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It was that kind of night for the St. Louis Cardinals. Look for more tomorrow, including the “Mr. Octobers” of tonight. Spoiler alert: Both of them were members of the Boston Red Sox.

Bizarre Baseball Culture (Book Review): “Brittle Innings” by Michael Bishop

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In Bizarre Baseball Culture, I take a look at some of the more unusual places where baseball has reared it’s head in pop culture and fiction.

1816 was the so-called “Year Without a Summer”, as a series of events (including the ash from a very large volcanic eruption in Indonesia) caused temperatures around the world to plunge. Against this backdrop, a small group of English writers and poets had their summer vacation at the Villa Diodati near Lake Geneva ruined by record cold and wet weather. Stuck inside the Swiss manor, one of their members, Lord Byron, suggested they try their hand at writing ghost stories. One of them, a young woman named Mary Shelley, came up with an idea that would eventually become Frankenstein: or, The Modern Prometheus. It differed from other scary stories in one major aspect: instead of having the monster come from magic or religion, it was about a monster created by mankind, by science. In fact, some say that it invented science fiction as a genre.

So, perhaps it isn’t surprising that eventually Bizarre Baseball Culture would come across the Frankenstein Monster, but it is surprising that it comes in Brittle Innings by Michael Bishop, as opposed to a baseball episode of The Munsters or some sort of obscure comic. Because, you see, Brittle Innings, published in 1994, is an honest-to-goodness classy novel written for adults that doesn’t even advertise the fact that it’s unusual, and it’s premise is simple: what if Mary Shelley had merely been an editor of the tale of Frankenstein and his monster, and what if the Monster survived, moved to America, and took up baseball?

Okay, maybe that premise isn’t that simple. Depends on your definition of “simple”, I guess. Still, go below the jump for more:

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Headlines from around the Continuum: October 23, 2013

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Baseball-related headlines from the Newseum:

(Note that I try to copy the style of the paper as well, hence why some are in ALL CAPS while others aren’t. Also, I ignored extremely basic headlines like “World Series Preview”)

Story: World Series starts tonight

Hartford Courant (Hartford, CT): RED TIDE RISING

Honolulu Star-Advertiser: WORLD SERIES FACE-OFF/THE PRIDE OF HAWAII (no doubt referring to Shane Victorino)

The Pantagraph (Bloomington, IL): Plenty of history in Cardinals-Red Sox matchup

Portland (Maine) Press: All eyes on Fenway as Sox host Game 1

The Sun Chronicle (Attleboro, Mass.): Wait until this year

Boston Globe: ONE BIG TEAM/Red Sox and bombing-scarred Boston rise together

Boston Herald: WELCOME TO OUR WORLD

Metro- Boston Edition: THE HUNT FOR THREE

Cape Cod Times: It’s hitting home

Standard-Times (New Bedford, Mass.): ALL EYES ON SOX

(The St. Louis Post Dispatch didn’t have a headline- just a big picture of Fenway Park above the fold.)

Buffalo News: Boston rises above horror

Providence Journal: LIVING THE DREAM

USA TODAY: CLOSE SHAVES IN THIS SERIES? NOT LIKELY (with pictures of bearded Red Sox players)

National Post (Toronto): ACES WILD (on the starting pitchers and others to watch in the series)

El Universal (Cartagena, Colombia): ¡Play ball!

El Informador (Guadalajara, Mexico): Retoman rivalidad (roughly translated as “Rivalry renewed”)

Vanguardia (Saltillo, Mexico): ¡Chocan los mejores! (roughly translated as “The best collide!”)

El Expreso de Campeche (San Francisco de Campeche, Mexico): QUE INICIE LA FIESTA (“Let the party begin!”)

De Volksrant (Amsterdam, Netherlands): Big in the U.S.A. (on Aruban/Dutch Xander Bogaerts being in the World Series)

El Nuevo Dia (San Juan, Puerto Rico): Choque de titanes en Boston (“Clash of titans in Boston.”)

El Nacional (Caracas, Venezuela): Fiesta mundial en Boston (Either “Global Party in Boston” or “World festivities in Boston”)

The 2013 World Series Preview/Prediction Spectacular

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It’s time to preview the 2013 World Series!

…After the jump, of course:

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