It’s Rickeymas! So, have a Merry Rickeymas, everyone, as we celebrate the birth of the Man of Steal, Rickey Hendersen. The Continuum will return tomorrow, the 26th.
A traditional Rickeymas wreath at the All-Star Sports Resort at Walt Disney World.
From March 1….
As the World Baseball Classic starts, people are writing articles about it, usually falling into two camps: telling people they don’t know what they are missing, or telling everybody they think the tournament is stupid. You know what camp I am in, and another person who is in that camp is Emma Span, who recently wrote an article over at Sports on Earth about it.
And she finished her article by mentioning this:
Did you know there’s a team in the Netherlands’ Honkbal Hoofdklasse called the Hoofddorp Pioniers?
Yes, I did. And as awesome of a name that is, it but scratches the surface of great names in overseas baseball. Oh, sure, we have fun names here in America (such as the Albuquerque “Named for the plot of an episode of The Simpsons” Isotopes), but for some reason, none are quite as charming as those we find overseas.
Take, for example, the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters of the NPB (the logo is to the right). They are perhaps the most well-known of great international baseball team names, and the fact that they have have their names not because they fight a porcine menace but rather because they are sponsored by the “Nippon Ham” corporation does not lower the greatness of that name.
Although none of the other NPB teams have a great name on par with the Nippon-Ham Fighters, other parts of Japan’s baseball structure have tried to do so. An independent league in Japan called the Baseball Challenge League, for example, has such great names as the Shinano Grandserows*, the Gunma Diamond Pegasus (shouldn’t it be the Diamond Pegasi?), the Fukui Miracle Elephants (they aren’t just elephants, they’re MIRACLE elephants) and the Ishikawa Million Stars. Another independent league in Japan, based out of the Shikoku Islands, also has excellent names, like the Tokushima Indigo Socks (INDIGO! And they spell it with a “-cks” instead of an “x”!), Ehime Mandarin Pirates (“Mandarin” as in “Mandarin Oranges”- check out their logo) and the Kagawa Oive Guyners**, which make the other team in that league, the Kochi Fighting Dogs, look downright normal.
Let it not be said that Japan holds a monopoly on great names in Asia, or even the Pacific Ocean. Korea has the KBO’s NC Dinos and the Futures League Goyang Wonders***. Taiwan has the Lamigo Monkeys, Brother Elephants and the Uni-President 7-Eleven Lions. And, well, those are just teams that are currently around. Earlier in history,
Down in Australia, the Perth Heat are sponsored by the “Alcohol. Think Again” program. So, guess what you see when you go to their website? Well, you see “Purchase your Alcohol. Think Again Perth Heat tickets today!” and similar sentences. In other words, the Alcohol. Think Again Perth Heat, in addition to being one of the most confusing grammatical team names in the world, are also presumably what the bizarro version of the Milwaukee Brewers would be named.
But it is in Europe, where those Pioniers are, that some of the best baseball names are. There, so far away from American eyes, there are some great names, either intentionally or unintentionally. From the Hoofdklasse‘s Mr. Cocker HCAW**** and the lower-division honkbal club called the Tex Town Tigers, to the Regensburg Buchbinder Legionaere in Germany*****, Europe is the center of awesome baseball names, with some of them especially being fun when said aloud.
Names like:
Paderborn Untouchables (Germany)
Barracudas de Montpellier (France)
Dohren Wild Farmers (Germany)
Jimmer’s de Saint-Lo (France)
Brasschaat Braves (Belgium)
Rättvik Butchers (Sweden, now defunct)
Therwil Flyers (Switzerland)
Tempo Titans (Czech Republic)
Espoo Expos (Finland)
Oslo Pretenders (Norway)
DOOR Neptunus (Netherlands- yes, DOOR is a sponsor, but the idea of Neptune playing for a door is too good to pass up)
Szentendre Sleepwalkers (Hungary)
Pops CB (Spain, long defunct)
Nottingham Thieves (UK, possibly defunct)
But all of these are nothing compared to perhaps the greatest, best-of-the-best name for a baseball 
team anywhere in the world: The UK’s Bolton Robots of Doom. Look upon it’s logo and despair at the sight of a Killer Robot that has taken up hardball to bring doom to the enemies of the Bolton 9! Look upon it and know that no team anywhere in the world will ever be able to top this. None.
What is truly impressive about the Bolton Robots of Doom is not that they have such a name, but because they went so all-out on it. They could have just stuck with “Robots”, or kept their old name, the “Blaze”. But, no, they had to have the robot be OF DOOM. And that, my friends, is devotion to coming up with an awesome nickname.
Although the team may not have done well last season, finishing 0-16 in the AAA North Division of British Baseball. They’ve been relegated to a lower league. But none of this matters.They could have gone 0-17 or 0-1000, but with a name like that, they will forever have a place in my heart, and the Robots of Doom will forever strike fear into the hearts of their opponents.
So, enjoy the WBC, or you could go to sleep instead. But remember: The Bolton Robots of Doom never rest.
* A Serow is a goat or antelope-like mammal. The Japanese variety looks like this. Presumably, Shinano is meant to be one of those, only more… grander.
** As far as I could tell from research “Guyner” is a slang word in the local dialect for a strong person.
*** Do you think they were originally called the “Oneders”?
**** The “Mr. Cocker” is from a sponsor, before you ask.
***** That’s “Bookbinder Legionnaires” in English.
On January 9 of this year, I lamented the fact Kenny Loften had fallen off the Hall of Fame ballot. While my thoughts were legitimate, I think calling it a “tragedy” was a bit over-the-top…
Yes, nobody was elected to the Hall of Fame today, meaning that the only people going into the Hall this summer will be long-dead old-timers. It is sad to see Biggio and Piazza not get in when their connection to the steroid era has been innuendo at most, and for returning candidates like Bagwell, Raines and Jack Morris not to get in either (although Morris, at least, is more of a iffy pick to start with).
But want to know what the true tragedy is? Kenny Lofton just being dropped from the ballot entirely, only receiving 3.2% of the vote, just behind Bernie Williams (who also deserved to remain on the ballot).
Now, I’m not saying Kenny Lofton is a Hall of Famer. He isn’t, but he is not a player who should have been dropped after his first appearance. After all, he was, as I was growing up, a near-constant presence in baseball, seemingly always making the All-Star Game, winning a Gold Glove, or leading off for a playoff contender… and this was after his best years. In 1994, for example, he may well have had a chance to get the MVP if not for the season being cut short. He is 15th in career stolen bases.
In other words, he shouldn’t have just been dropped from the ballot. He never should have been a major threat to make the Hall, but he should have gotten his 15 years on the ballot.
Starring Jon Hamm, Million Dollar Arm is the loosely-based upon a true-story tale of Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, two Indians who were discovered after winning a reality show in their home country meant specifically to find India’s first professional ballplayers. It looks like the movie is taking some liberties with the events, but, hey, it’s always good to see a baseball movie:
As 2013 comes to a close, I’ll remember the good times we had by reposting some of the most popular things from the Continuum in the past year. Today, from September 19, a look at the clever David Aardsma reference in the Parks and Recreation book:
In 2009, Parks and Recreation first aired. A spiritual spin-off (but not an actual spin-off) of The Office, it follows the life of the Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) and the rest of the staff of the Parks and Recreation Department in the fictional, Springfield-like city of Pawnee, Indiana.
In 2011, Knope released a book on Pawnee in the show, entitled Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America. NBC released the book in the real world.
In 2013, as part of a Netflix/Hulu binge to get caught up on Parks and Recreation before the next season starts, I also read Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America. I got it from the library (thankfully, my local library is not run by Ron Swanson’s second ex-wife Tammi). In doing so, I was able to catch a clever baseball reference in it during a section on Pawnee’s school board- which is filled with people who have lots of A’s at the start of their names in order to be at the top of the ballot, helping them win simply through the laziness of the voters of Pawnee. I’ve put the page up below the jump*, can you spot it?
*(Please don’t sue me, NBC!)
In which I write Haiku-style poetry about a potpourri of baseball cards I found in a value pack. Because, well, it’s my blog.
2003 Topps Brad Voyles
I have to admit
I don’t know how many sounds
Are in Brad’s last name
In which I write Haiku-style poetry about a potpourri of baseball cards I found in a value pack. Because, well, it’s my blog.
1997 Bowman Todd Hollandsworth
Todd Hollandsworth’s card
Red-and-black border has he
Swing, Batter, Batter
In which I write Haiku-style poetry about a potpourri of baseball cards I found in a value pack. Because, well, it’s my blog.
1990 Topps Jeff Kunkel
Jeff Kunkel, cool name
What a awesome name to say
This was his last year
In which I write Haiku-style poetry about a potpourri of baseball cards I found in a value pack. Because, well, it’s my blog.
1992 Score Ellis Burks
Ellis Burks played for
the Red Sox in Nineteen Nine-
–ty two. Centerfield.
In 1997, Wade Boggs threw a scoreless inning against the Angels:
The Baseball Continuum 
