Biogenesis Day Live-Blog

It’s (maybe) Biogenesis Day! So, I’ll be doing a running live-blog of thoughts, news, and pitiful attempts to be funny. Well, mostly. I might miss an hour or two due to an appointment. So, go below the jump for it, I’ll be adding more and more as the day goes on.

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Every way (well, 25 ways) the A-Rod madness might end (HUMOR after awhile)

Oh boy. The whole saga over Alex Rodriguez keeps getting weirder and weirder. With each passing day, he seems to be finding some new doctor, tweeting out something, making some sort of appearance on radio or TV, or coming under some sort of further Biogenesis news.

So, how does it end? I have come up with EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME, and listed them below:

  1. Alex Rodriguez does early August rehab and is back with the Yankees sometime that month before getting suspended in some way by the end of the year. Because, really, at this point, there is no way he is avoiding getting suspended.
  2. Alex Rodriguez goes through rehab, but then is suspended for going over the Yankees’ head with getting a second opinion, so he doesn’t actually start until late August. THEN he gets suspended by MLB.
  3. Alex Rodriguez uses various legal tricks and appeals to play but then is suspended in the off-season.
  4. Alex Rodriguez is suspended by MLB before he can actually play in the majors this season.
  5. Alex Rodriguez suffers another injury set-back and doesn’t play.
  6. Alex Rodriguez just up and retires to avoid all of the Biogenesis and injury stuff.
  7. Alex Rodriguez cuts a deal with MLB about this whole Biogenesis stuff, is out the rest of the season and probably next year too, but then tries to make a comeback in 2015.
  8. Alex Rodriguez fights the Biogenesis investigation, loses, and is either suspended for a very long time or is just upright banned.
  9. Various variations of 1 through 8.
  10. (From this point on, it’s humor) It is revealed that the Alex Rodriguez everyone has been watching since he went to the Rangers is actually a magically-hidden centaur doppelganger and that the real Alex Rodriguez has been in a cryogenic chamber somewhere near Seattle since 2000.
  11. Brian Cashman, finally having reached his breaking point with all of this nonsense, challenges A-Rod to a duel to the death.
  12. Alex Rodriguez is seen with somebody like Lindsay Lohan or Amanda Bynes or something, causing Deadspin and TMZ to collide, forming a black hole that sucks up the entire internet.
  13. Alex Rodriguez begins to go under the alias of “Carlos Danger”.
  14. Alex Rodriguez, hoping to show just how fine and game ready he is, does a workout in his driveway in front of assembled media.
  15. Alex Rodriguez announces that his home planet needs him, leaves, and is never heard from again.
  16. Alex Rodriguez tries to sneak onto the field of a Yankees game by trying to go incognito as Dandy, the Yankees’ short-lived mascot.
  17. It turns out that “Biogenesis” was the name of his sleigh.
  18. It is revealed that Alex Rodriguez’s entire career has taken place inside of a snowglobe and the imagination of an autistic child.
  19. Goes to Taiwan, where people will still pack the stadium just to see him.
  20. Alex Rodriguez goes and buys some Shwarma.
  21. Alex Rodriguez moves to Vegas and spends the rest of his days signing memorabilia.
  22. Sits in his room for rest of his days eating ice cream and watching Ice Station Zebra. Hey, it worked for Howard Hughes.
  23. He not only makes it back, but he hits a dramatic walkoff home run that hits the light standards and causes them to explode.
  24. Due to a quirk in the CBA, is suspended but is able to continue playing in the minor leagues, where he tutors young prospects or something.
  25. Alex Rodriguez wakes up from his nap, turns and sees Ken Griffey Jr. in the locker next to him, and says “You won’t believe the dream I just had.”

The Spectrum of Braun Tweets

In the hours since the Ryan Braun news broke, you could see a wide variety of responses. Here are the types I found… I am not including examples as a way to protect the innocent and/or guilty. In addition, many tweets may be crosses between the below.

The Purely Informational Tweet: Tells us what’s happening, how people are reacting, give us further details, etc.

The “He had it coming” Tweet: Self-explanatory.

The “He should apologize” Tweet: He should apologize to his teammates, he should apologize to that sample-collector, he should apologize to the arbitrator, he should apologize to the fans, he should apologize to his family, he should apologize to those who defended him, he should apologize to Matt Kemp for winning the 2011 MVP Award instead of him, etc.

The “Not Enough” Tweet: Suggesting that Braun got off easy. Other suggestions can range anywhere from 100 games to some who suggest expunging Braun from the record books, banning him for life and then shooting him on a rocket towards the heart of the Sun. Only slightly exaggerating.

The “Who Cares?” Tweet: Somebody either says they don’t care about PED use anymore or don’t see what the big deal is because the Brewers are already out of playoff contention.

The “A-Rod’s Next” Tweet: Self-explanatory.

The “Tie this into another event” Tweet: Ranging from the rather apt comparison of the reaction to Braun’s suspension to the reaction to the suspension of the NFL’s Von MIller to the rather silly, such as saying that this means that the Royal Baby won’t be named “Ryan”.

The “Get off your high horses” Tweet: Again, self-explanatory, usually aimed either at sportswriters or MLB itself.

The “MLB is just as bad” Tweet: Focuses on the fact that some of the methods that MLB has used in these investigation are rather suspect morally or ethically. In extreme cases this may appear to be an attack on MLB instead of a condemnation of both MLB and Braun.

The “Anti-Semitic” Tweet: I haven’t seen any, but given the fact that this is Twitter and some real scumbags are on it, I’m sure they exist.

The “Woah” Tweets: People are so stunned at this development that they just can say “wow” or “woah” or something similar.

Any types I’m missing?

Here we go again….

Well, I wouldn’t say this came out of nowhere, but I don’t think I was expecting to see this today. You?

Worry: Will U of Miami grads simply be assumed to be guilty?

One thing that noticed- and worries me- in the recent wave of PED news is that many of the players have a big connection: The University of Miami.

Ryan Braun played for the University of Miami.

Yasmani Grandal played for the University of Miami.

Danny Valencia played for the University of Miami.

Cesar Carrillo, a minor leaguer who has been connected to BioGenesis, went to the University of Miami.

Alex Rodriguez has been a major financial donor to the University of Miami baseball program- their park even bears his name.

Jimmy Goins, named in the Biogenesis reports, is the strength and conditioning coach for the University of Miami.

I’m hardly the first to notice this, look at what Tim Brown and Jeff Passan wrote at Yahoo!:

The early portion of MLB’s investigation has focused on the web of connections to the University of Miami, where Braun attended college. Carrillo, a pitcher in the Detroit Tigers organization, was Braun’s road roommate for three years. Jimmy Goins, a strength-and-conditioning coach at the school and alleged client of Bosch’s, worked with Braun during his three years at Miami. Goins has denied a connection to Bosch.

And this leads to my concern: Will others consider former Hurricanes players to be guilty until proven innocent? Will a new star who comes to the majors, having played at “The U”, have whispers behind their back?

Because that would not be healthy for the sport. There still needs to be evidence, one cannot just assume that because player X went to college Y he must be on PEDs. And we must never forget that.

The End of A-Rod

Today was the end of the Age of A-Rod. Oh, he might not realize it yet, although I suppose he might, but I would be shocked if he plays again, and if he does play, I doubt he will even be a shadow of the shadow of his old self. Because, today, he was named in a Miami New Times (a news weekly in… Miami) report on an anti-aging clinic called Biogenesis. In addition to Alex Rodriguez, the New Times noted mentions in files that indicate that Melky Cabrera, Yasmani Grandal, Bartolo Colon, Nelson Cruz, Gio Gonzalez as well as Jimmy Goins, the strength and conditioning coach of the University of Miami baseball team. Gonzalez and Cruz, to the best of my knowledge, had never been linked to PEDs before today, although Gio Gonzalez’s case is seemingly connected to things that may not be banned and they listed no specifics on Nelson Cruz.

However, make no doubt, this is a story that, at least initially, is all about Alex Rodriguez. Remember, in 2009, he had claimed that he had ceased using performance-enhancers in 2003, but this report seems to suggest otherwise. This also likely means that he was using PEDs during the 2009 postseason, the one postseason where Alex Rodriguez hit like the elite player he was during the regular season.

And so, Alex Rodriguez, who already could be out the whole season due to his injury, and who has a gigantic albatross of a contract, now has been shown to possibly be a liar and a continued cheater. The New York Yankees, no doubt, want him to just sort of disappear, and are no doubt going through his contract looking for something, anything that could provide them an out. It’s doubtful that they can.

But it’s possible they won’t need to: with his injury, Rodriguez could, maybe, decide to call it a career. While it seems unlikely that he will, it could be the only way he’ll be able to escape this on anything even remotely resembling his own terms.

Time will tell what happens.