In 2011, while taking a drama class in college for some reason, I wrote a 5-page play that looked at how “Casey at the Bat” might have been perceived from the stands. It was then promptly forgotten, until it was found in the deepest depths of my computer in a file of old things. The following is that play. With the exception of two name changes (due to them being too close to the names of actual people I know) and a few small edits for grammar, format, or clarity, the following is exactly what was handed in in 2011, warts and all. All rights belong to me but if you absolutely positively want to put it on, let me know and I’ll probably give you the okay so long as you film it so I can see it and share it. So without further ado….
The Disappointment League (AKA The Mudville Faithful)
Bill, a sports fan who is often disappointed by the poor performance of his teams.
Harold, Bill’s father.
June, a regular at the ballpark who is friendly but easily annoyed. Somewhat of a deadpan delivery.
Annie, a female fan whose love of the game is matched only by the power of her vocal cords, keeps a scorecard.
Benny, loud-mouthed, entitled, Italian-American fan of the opposing team. He is heavily intoxicated.
Announcer, off-stage PA announcer
Other fans are there, but do not have lines beyond the occasional crowd chant.
Setting: A raised stand full of seats at a stadium, we can’t see what is going on in the field, but the seats are filled with people in team jerseys- most of them in white and red (including Bill, Harold, June and Annie). But there is one person who is in a black-pinstriped white jersey (Benny). There is a walkway behind the seats where the fans could exit and enter, and there is a railing on that walkway for standing room only crowds to lean on. A baseball team’s dugout can be placed in front of the front row, for things like sodas and food to be placed, but otherwise it can be just assumed to be there but invisible. While the seating can be anything from just one or two rows to a whole bleacher of it (the logical extreme would be to hold it in a actual baseball stadium), some things are important: Bill and Harold are sitting next to each other, Annie is as far away from Bill and Harold as possible while staying in the same section seating, June is either two seats to the right of Bill and Harold or is one seat over and one row up from them, Benny is sitting either next to or kitty-corner to June. The rest of the seats are filled out with others, but they aren’t really important. The crowd should be jostling in their seats, the occasional “C’mon Nine!” and “Get a hit!” echoing from the extras, but now, it is a quiet murmur.
Announcer: Due up in the bottom of the ninth for Mudville- Cooney, Barrows and Flynn. Coming in for New York… Sparks Hagen.
(A grumble rises from the crowd.)
Bill: Well, this is it, dad. Down 4-2, one inning left.
Harold: Yeah, we’re in trouble. I mean, Hagen…. jeez.
Bill: Annie? How many people have to get in for Casey to come up?
(ANNIE looks at her scorecard for a second.)
Annie: Well, let’s see, Cooney, Barrows, Flynn, Jimmy Blake…. then there’s Casey.
June: There’s no way we’re getting there. Especially if…..
(Benny gets up and yells.)
Benny: Woooooah, Bombers! Let’s finish this thing, Hagen!
(JUNE turns to Benny and gives him a deathly glare, the ANNOUNCER then comes on the PA system.)
Announcer: Now batting for Mudville, Ernest Cooney….
Bill: C’mon, Cooney!
(The sound of the crack of a bat. The crowd makes a brief rise in noise, but it then quickly goes down in disappointment, except for Benny, who stands and goes “YEEEEEEAAAAHHH!”)
Annie: (Looking down at scorecard, which she is annotating) Cooney… grounded out to short.
(Benny stands up again.)
Benny: WOOOOOOO! NEW YORK! TWO OUTS AWAY!
Bill: (turning) Shut up!
Benny: WOOOO! NEW YORK!
Harold: (under his breath) Drunken idiot.
(Everyone calms down for a second as the announcer comes up again.)
Announcer: Now batting for Mudville, Lawrence Barrow….
June: He better not swing at the first pitch.
(Sound of a bat hitting ball. A groan emanates from the crowd except for Benny, who cheers. ANNIE turns to her scorecard.)
Annie: Barrow lines out to first.
Benny: ONE OUT AWAY, BABY!
(JUNE turns around.)
June: (Grumpy) Uh-hum!
(Benny ignores her. Meanwhile one or two of the extras have gotten up and left early to beat traffic.)
Benny: WE’RE GONNA WIN AND YOU MUDVILLE LOSERS WILL FINALLY HAVE TO ADMIT HOW AWESOME WE ARE!
(BILL finally has had it, and gets up, as the ANNOUNCER calls the next batter.)
Announcer: Now batting for Mudville…. William Flynn!
Bill: (To Benny) Wait until the last out, butt-head!
Harold (putting hand on Bill’s shoulder): Calm down, son.
Benny: Oh yeah! What makes you think you can win this, kid?
Bill: Casey can still come to the plate, and he could end it with one swing!
(The sound of a baseball hitting a catcher’s mitt is heard.)
Annie (ignoring the argument between BILL and Benny): GOOD EYE, FLYNN! JUST GET ON BASE!
Benny (still talking to Bill): C’mon, Casey isn’t coming up. Your bench is empty, and Flynn is a has-been and Blake is a piece of cake!
Bill: This is baseball, anything can happen.
(Harold nods. The sound of bat hitting ball is heard and the crowd erupts.)
Harold: Get down, get down!
Annie: THAT’S A HIT! (Turns to her scorecard and marks it a hit.)
(The crowd is getting excited, more shouting of “C’mon Mudville!” and similar things.)
June: One more hit to Casey….
Benny: There ain’t gonna be a hit!
Harold: He doesn’t need a hit, he just need to get on.
Announcer: Now batting, Jimmy Blake!
Annie: C’MON BLAKE!
Bill: JUST GET ON BASE, BLAKE!
(The sound of a ball hitting a glove.)
Benny: YEAH! TWO MORE STRIKES!
Bill: Will you be quiet?
June: He isn’t gonna listen, Bill. Don’t even try.
(The sound of a ball hitting a glove.)
Annie: GOOD EYE, JIMMY!
Harold: He needs to wait for his pitch.
Benny: PLEASE, BLAKE COULDN’T HIT WAY OUT OF A PAPER-
(Benny is interrupted by the crack of the bat. The crowd goes wild.)
Annie: GO! GO! GO!
Bill: Send him! Send him! [beat] DON’T SEND HIM! DON’T SEND HIM!
June: He’s going to be out at third….
(The crowd erupts into a giant roar.)
Benny: C’MON! UMP! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! HE WAS OUT!
(The crowd starts to build in noise as the announcer again comes on the PA.)
Announcer: Now batting for Mudville…. Phineas Casey!
Annie: (Catching up on scorecard) Blake doubled, Flynn to third…
(The crowd begins to chant “CA-SEY! CA-SEY!” Except for Benny.)
Harold: A hit to tie, a homer to win…
Annie: JUST GET A HIT, CASEY!
Benny: YOU SUCK, CASEY!
(The pitcher throws the sphere, and everyone groans about the pitch as it hits the catcher’s mitt. Strike one.)
Harold: That was his pitch.
Benny: Ha! I bet the selfish bum just didn’t think that big fat pitch wasn’t his style.
Bill: Oh, be quiet!
(Another pitch. The sound of the ball hitting the glove. Everyone begins to boo and yell.)
Bill: OH, COME ON UMP! YOU ARE A FRAUD!
Annie: IF IT WEREN’T ILLEGAL, I’D KILL YOU UMP!
Benny: ONE STRIKE AWAY, BABY!
June: Settle down, all of you!
Harold: He’s got to swing at this, if it is at all close.
(The crowd gets to it’s feet, growing louder and louder….. and louder… and louder and then….)
(The lights go out, except for one, which is shown on Bill.)
Bill: Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville – mighty Casey has struck out.
(Bill slams a fist into his hand, in anger and disappointment, and walks off dejectedly.)