“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): I repeat that the Pittsburgh Pirates should be more honestly called the Pittsburgh Privateers

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Pirates entry.

The Pirates, like many teams this year, could be a serious contender. They could well return to the postseason for the fourth time in as many years, which is something I never thought I’d type, even with the expanded wild card.

There’s a lot to like about the Pirates. They have Andrew McCutchen, who is of course still one of the best players in the game, they still have Gerrit Cole, and they have several players who will be coming back from injuries or near-endless free agency. They are in a tough division, but it’s not going to be surprising at all if they make the playoffs.

However, I do have to bring one problem to everyone’s attention: The Pirates’ name is completely inaccurate.

And, no, I don’t just mean that in the sense that McCutchen and friends do not actually plunder their way across the seven seas. No, I mean that their name doesn’t quite fit.

First off, some history. The Pittsburgh Pirates can be traced back to the Pittsburgh Alleghenys (sic) of the 19th century. That was the name they played under starting in their first season of 1887 and what many previous teams in the Pittsburgh area had been named. However, in 1890, the Alleghenys signed Lou Bierbauer, who had been a member of the American Association’s Philadelphia Athletics (despite the name, there is no connection to either of the Athletics or Phillies of today). Their actions were called “piratical” by American Association officials, and the Alleghenys ran with it, changing their name to Pirates.

However, there is one problem: just because your actions are piratical does not make you a pirate. Well, under some definitions it does, but only the most general and encompassing of them.

You see, pirates are, by definition, not part of any country or location other then themselves, their ship, and their crew. Maybe also other pirate crews, if they are part of some sort of terrorist group (such as many of the Somali pirates of today, who are loosely connected with terrorist organizations in the area).

Now, let’s see, while the Pittsburgh Pirates are definitely in it for themselves and their crew (their teammates), they also are representing a location and a government, albeit indirectly: The City of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

And, guess what? When a Pirate is signed up to represent one government or location’s interests, the pirate ceases to be a pirate, and becomes a privateer. To put it into baseball terms, pirates are basically always free agents, while privateers are players who’ve signed up to play for a certain team.

So, ladies and gentleman, know that while the 2016 Pittsburgh Pirates may be destined for great things, they are not, technically, pirates. Rather, they are the Pittsburgh Privateers.

Which still kind of rolls off the tongue pretty well, all things considered.

(Parts of this were first posted for the 2015 Pirates “30 Teams, 30 Posts”.)

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“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2015): Technically, the Pittsburgh Pirates are Privateers

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, I get into semantics and say why the Pirates’ name is incorrect.

The Pirates, like seemingly every team this year, could be a serious contender and return to the postseason for the third time in as many years, which is something I never thought I’d type, even with the expanded wild card.

There’s a lot to like about the Pirates. They have Andrew McCutchen, who is of course one of the best players in the game, and they have a very nice pitching staff that could be even better this year as the young pitchers such as Gerrit Cole get even better.

However, I do have to bring one problem to everyone’s attention: The Pirates’ name is completely inaccurate.

And, no, I don’t just mean that in the sense that McCutchen and friends do not actually plunder their way across the seven seas. No, I mean that their name doesn’t quite fit.

First off, some history. The Pittsburgh Pirates can be traced back to the Pittsburgh Alleghenys (sic) of the 19th century. That was the name they played under starting in their first season of 1887 and what many previous teams in the Pittsburgh area had been named. However, in 1890, the Alleghenys signed Lou Bierbauer, who had been a member of the American Association’s Philadelphia Athletics (despite the name, there is no connection to either of the Athletics or Phillies of today). Their actions were called “piratical” by American Association officials, and the Alleghenys ran with it, changing their name to Pirates.

However, there is one problem: just because your actions are piratical does not make you a pirate. Well, under some definitions it does, but only the most general and encompassing of them.

You see, pirates are, by definition, not part of any country or location other then themselves, their ship, and their crew. Maybe also other pirate crews, if they are part of some sort of terrorist group (such as many of the Somali pirates of today, who are loosely connected with terrorist organizations in the area).

Now, let’s see, while the Pittsburgh Pirates are definitely in it for themselves and their crew (their teammates), they also are representing a location and a government, albeit indirectly: The City of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

And, guess what? When a Pirate is signed up to represent one government or location’s interests, the pirate ceases to be a pirate, and becomes a privateer. To put it into baseball terms, pirates are basically always free agents, while privateers are players who’ve signed up to play for a certain team.

So, ladies and gentleman, know that while the 2015 Pittsburgh Pirates may be destined for great things, they are not, technically, pirates. Rather, they are the Pittsburgh Privateers.

Which still kind of rolls off the tongue pretty well, all things considered.

The last time the Pirates won 81 games…

September 9th, 1992. At the end of the day, after a 13-8 victory over the Cubs, the record of the Pittsburgh Pirates showed that they had 81 wins.

It never happened again. Until yesterday.

How long ago was 9-9-92? Well…

  • Bryce Harper hadn’t been born yet.
  • The United States still was doing nuclear bomb testing.
  • The Colorado Rockies, Florida/Miami Marlins, Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays and Arizona Diamondbacks did not exist.
  • Two players from the September 9, 1992 game- Joe Girardi and Ryne Sandberg– are now MLB managers (although Sandberg is an interim manager).
  • Three participants in the game (Sandberg, Andre Dawson, and umpire Doug Harvey) are now in the Hall of Fame. A fourth, Barry Bonds, would be if not for, well… you know.
  • Speaking of Bonds, at the end of the 1992 season, he had 176 HR and in 1992 he hit a then career-high 34 HR.
  • The top movie at the box-office the weekend before was Honeymoon in Vegas. The top movie in the weekend after was Sneakers.
  • Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” was the Number One single.
  • George H.W. Bush was president and was facing both Bill Clinton and Ross Perot in the presidential race.
  • Nickelodeon was only a few weeks old, the Sci-Fi (Syfy) Channel and Cartoon Network were a few weeks away from premiering.
  • The first Mario Kart game had only been out for about two weeks.
  • Gerald’s Game by Stephen King was the number one best-selling book at the time.
  • The Russian Federation had not yet taken part in the Olympic Games- the 1992 Olympics had the “Unified Team” of Russia and former USSR countries because they hadn’t formed Olympic Committees in time.
  • A Canadian Team had not yet won the World Series.
  • Only Fenway Park, Wrigley Field, Dodger Stadium, Anaheim (Angel) Stadium, Kauffman Stadium, Skydome/Rogers Centre, New Comiskey Park/US Cellular Field, the Oakland Coliseum and Camden Yards remain in MLB use from that season. Tropicana Field had been built, but had not yet hosted a Major League team.

In other words: It was a long time ago.

Baseball News Reaction of the Night (Humor)

I saw this tweet (emphasis mine):

And this is how I (and no doubt many others) reacted.