30 Teams, 30 Posts (2016): “We’re Gonna Lose Twins”

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to (and aftermath of) the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Twins entry.

We’re Gonna Lose Twins

To be sung to the tune of “We’re Gonna Win Twins”

We’re gonna lose Twins, we’re gonna fail!
We’re gonna lose Twins, there’s another nail!
There are no home runs, shout out a “No Way!”!
Dear God help the Minnesota Twins today!

We’re gonna lose Twins, gosh-darnit all!
Nobody here has hit the cover off the ball!
Let’s hear it for the team that will try to find a way!
Dear God help the Minnesota Twins today!

 

Continuucast 8 with @SethTweets!

It’s time for yet another Baseball Continuum CONTINUUCAST! This time with Twins’ prospect expert, Seth Stohs! Hit play above, download by right-clicking here, follow the RSS feed here or follow on iTunes here or Stitcher here (if the latest episode isn’t up yet, it will be shortly).

 

It’s a Minor League Baseball installment of the Continuucast!

 

First, Dan talks to Twins’ prospect expert Seth Stohs about the Minnesota, the Rochester Red Wings, Minnesota’s farm system in general, and the appeal of Minor League Baseball. Please note that I had some technical difficulties during the conversation, but I have used software to clean it up and make it as good-sounding as I can. Apologies!

 

Then, Dan does another belated “30 Teams, 30 Posts” by talking about how Trevor Story’s amazing first week with the Rockies in some ways is proof of just how fun and unexpected the minor leagues are, since they can provide great surprises even from non-top prospects like Story!

 

Come back next week when Dan will welcome the “Evil Empire” onto the Continuucast and speak to Yankees Blogger Stacey Gotsulias!

 

Music/Sounds Featured:

“The National Game” by John Phillip Sousa

“We’re Gonna Win Twins”

The instrumental music played in the background of Rochester Red Wings commercials

Excerpt of “Pennant Fever” from the Major League soundtrack

All sound and music used is either public domain or is a short snippet that falls under fair use.

 

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): I don’t know anything about the Padres

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to (and aftermath of) the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Padres entry.

I know nothing about the Padres. Okay, not nothing, but they are probably one of my biggest weak-spots. I… basically know nothing about them. Oh, I know Matt Kemp is still pretty good, and both Tyson Ross and James Shields are not bad pitchers, despite the beating the Dodgers gave Ross on Monday. Oh, and Will Myers is still a guy!

But…. yeah, I really don’t know much about them. And I won’t insult you by claiming otherwise.

So instead, let’s talk about how awesome the logo is:

I mean, look at that. It combines the best portions of previous Padres graphical identities into a nice combo.

And that’s cool.

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): The Best Unofficial Tigers T-Shirts

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Tigers’ entry.

Some of the best T-shirts for baseball teams aren’t from the teams themselves, but rather from fans and artists! Here are some of the best unofficial Detroit Tiger shirts!

For example, here’s a shirt that combined the Tigers with the Lions, creating a…. Liger, I guess. Tigon?

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.30.19 PMOr, hey, why not do ALL FOUR Detroit teams in one t-shirt?

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.41.50 PMWant a pixel-art shirt of the Tigers mascot? Because that totally exists:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.43.24 PMI may have featured this in a previous round-up of unofficial shirts, but it’s a good one… CRUSH-IT CABRERA:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.45.23 PMBane and the Detroit Tigers logo go together way better than you would think:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.47.28 PMHere’s a cool-looking Justin Verlander shirt:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.52.55 PMOr, you can go classic and pay tribute to baseball’s greatest battery:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.55.35 PMYou can also pay tribute to the late, great, Ernie Harwell:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 12.57.43 PMOr, finally, you could salute the Tigers teams of the 1980s with this Kirk Gibson minor league shirsey:

Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 1.04.23 PM

Pretty cool, huh?

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): Will the Cardinals finally miss the playoffs?

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Cardinals’ entry.

In 2010, the St. Louis Cardinals went 86-76, and missed the playoffs.

They have made it every year since then. They are now the playoff constant that the Atlanta Braves and New York Yankees once were. And yet, in the tough NL Central, it’s entirely possible that this season may see them finally miss the postseason for the first time since that 2010 team.

It’s not that the Cardinals will be bad, so much as that they are in the NL Central, with the Cubs and the Pirates. They also are, slowly, getting older. Matt Holliday is 36. Adam Wainwright is 34. Yadier Molina is 33 and those catching legs can’t be in the best shape. The Cubs and Pirates are younger, the Brewers are on their way up (although it’s doubtful they will be a threat this season). The window maybe, just maybe, could be closing.

On the other hand, these are the Cardinals. They excel at beating expectations. The “Devil Magic” may never stop.

Or will it?

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): Cleveland should change it’s logo to Louis Sockalexis

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season (and in some cases the aftermath). Earlier installments can be found here. Now, the Indians.

The Cleveland Indians, have, wisely, decided to demote Chief Wahoo. It’d be even better if they banished him entirely, or at least relegated him only to throwback uniform days, but it’s a start. Instead, they’ll be going with the block-C logo.

But… why not actually pay tribute to the person who Cleveland has claimed was the inspiration of the name? Louis Sockalexis. Oh, whether or not Cleveland is actually called the Indians because of Sockalexis is… complicated, the fact remains, as the great Joe Posnanski said in that article:

“I don’t believe the Indians were named to honor Louis Sockalexis, not exactly. But I do believe the Indians name could honor him. That choice is ours.”

So… why not honor him? Change the logo to show him or acknowledge him. Perhaps the logo can BE Louis Sockalexis. oh, sure, he wasn’t the most handsome guy, but to honor him would be a much better logo than the hyper-racist Chief Wahoo.

So do it, Cleveland. Make Louis Sockalexis the icon and logo of your team.

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): The Nationals are no longer the hot pick, so they might as well win the NL

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to (and in some cases the aftermath of) the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Nationals entry.

Last season, the Nationals were the trendy pick to win the World Series. This year, they are not.

Which probably means they’ll go and win the NL because baseball history is full of teams going on to win after everyone else has moved on to a new pick. The best Cardinals team of this century (2004) didn’t win the World Series, but two years later (2006) a 83-76 team won it, for example. Plenty of people probably picked the Cardinals in 2004. I doubt as many picked them in 2006, at least once the playoffs started and they only had a 83-win season.

So… why not the the Nationals? They still have Bryce Harper, they still have Max Scherzer and Stephen Strasburg. Jonathan Papelbon is…well…. Jonathan Papelbon, for better and for worse. Maybe Daniel Murphy will be even half as good as he was in the postseason last year. Are they as good on paper as some previous Nationals teams? No. But, well, these games aren’t played on paper.

So… why not the Nationals?

 

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): The Brewers Beer Barrel Man is a robot

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to (and in some cases the aftermath of) the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Brewers entry.

 

Let’s look at the Milwaukee Brewers’ “Beer Barrel Man” logo of the 1970s and their time in the minor leagues:

What does that look like to you?

To me, it looks like a robot. You are never going to convince me otherwise, so don’t even try.

(For more substantial Brewers talk, listen to my conversation with Travis Sarandos of Brew Crew Ball in the most recent Continuucast.)

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): I repeat that the Pittsburgh Pirates should be more honestly called the Pittsburgh Privateers

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Pirates entry.

The Pirates, like many teams this year, could be a serious contender. They could well return to the postseason for the fourth time in as many years, which is something I never thought I’d type, even with the expanded wild card.

There’s a lot to like about the Pirates. They have Andrew McCutchen, who is of course still one of the best players in the game, they still have Gerrit Cole, and they have several players who will be coming back from injuries or near-endless free agency. They are in a tough division, but it’s not going to be surprising at all if they make the playoffs.

However, I do have to bring one problem to everyone’s attention: The Pirates’ name is completely inaccurate.

And, no, I don’t just mean that in the sense that McCutchen and friends do not actually plunder their way across the seven seas. No, I mean that their name doesn’t quite fit.

First off, some history. The Pittsburgh Pirates can be traced back to the Pittsburgh Alleghenys (sic) of the 19th century. That was the name they played under starting in their first season of 1887 and what many previous teams in the Pittsburgh area had been named. However, in 1890, the Alleghenys signed Lou Bierbauer, who had been a member of the American Association’s Philadelphia Athletics (despite the name, there is no connection to either of the Athletics or Phillies of today). Their actions were called “piratical” by American Association officials, and the Alleghenys ran with it, changing their name to Pirates.

However, there is one problem: just because your actions are piratical does not make you a pirate. Well, under some definitions it does, but only the most general and encompassing of them.

You see, pirates are, by definition, not part of any country or location other then themselves, their ship, and their crew. Maybe also other pirate crews, if they are part of some sort of terrorist group (such as many of the Somali pirates of today, who are loosely connected with terrorist organizations in the area).

Now, let’s see, while the Pittsburgh Pirates are definitely in it for themselves and their crew (their teammates), they also are representing a location and a government, albeit indirectly: The City of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

And, guess what? When a Pirate is signed up to represent one government or location’s interests, the pirate ceases to be a pirate, and becomes a privateer. To put it into baseball terms, pirates are basically always free agents, while privateers are players who’ve signed up to play for a certain team.

So, ladies and gentleman, know that while the 2016 Pittsburgh Pirates may be destined for great things, they are not, technically, pirates. Rather, they are the Pittsburgh Privateers.

Which still kind of rolls off the tongue pretty well, all things considered.

(Parts of this were first posted for the 2015 Pirates “30 Teams, 30 Posts”.)

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): The Texas Rangers shouldn’t claim all of Texas

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. This is the Rangers’ entry.

Okay, this is something that, while not the April Fool’s joke of Continuuvideo, is still on the irrelevant side:

Why does the team in the Dallas-Arlington metropolitan area, the “Texas Rangers”, claim all of Texas, when the Houston Astros exist?

To be sure, the act of claiming an entire state even while there are other MLB teams in it isn’t new. It took awhile for the Marlins to stop being the “Florida Marlins” and instead the Miami Marlins, and the Angels renamed themselves the “California Angels” even though multiple other teams had already been in California. And yet, now, the Texas Rangers remain of Texas, even though at no point were they the only MLB team in the Lone Star State.

It’s obvious, of course, why they remain that way: there’s no such thing as a “Dallas Ranger” or “Arlington Ranger”, and the team has been around too long and seen too much success (most of it recent) to go and change it now, there’s too much merchandise and cache attached to it. It’s the same reason why a certain Los Angeles NBA team is named the Lakers even though there are no natural lakes in LA and why Salt Lake City’s NBA team is called the Utah Jazz even though Utah is probably one of the least jazzy states of the union (my apologies to all Utah-based jazz musicians). Or how a certain NFL team has a racial slur for it’s nickname even though every sane person who isn’t actively being paid by that or wasn’t literally raised as a fan of that team knows it is a slur (and even those people know it’s a slur, they just won’t admit it). The inertia of the brand is too much.

But still, c’mon, Rangers. Why are you pretending Houston doesn’t exist? Not cool.