HUMOR: Cable TV descriptions of baseball movies that must be made

You know how when you come across a movie on cable, they give you a brief description?

Well, here are some baseball movies that must be made, and what their cable TV description would be:

BOBBLEHEAD THE MOVIE: A 1960s bobblehead is forced to come out of retirement to lead his team over more realistically-proportioned action figures. Starring the vocal talents of Kevin Costner, Rainn Wilson.

MURDER MOST FOWL: After the shocking murder of Mrs. Met, the San Diego Chicken must lead the hunt for the mascot responsible. Starring Ted Giannoulas and the guy in the Mr. Met costume.

BAY OF PUIGS: A greedy baseball agent finances a invasion of Cuba, looking to open it up in order to find more talent to sign. Starring William Dafoe and Pitbull.

MINOR PROBLEMS: The GM of a minor league baseball team must escape assassins sent to kill him after a disastrous “Russian Heritage Night”. Starring Paul Giamatti and Zooey Deschanel.

HOSS: The tale of the pitching deity and dapper gent is brought to life. Rated NC-17 for language, violence, excessive drinking, opium use and syphilis.

DINOSAUR BASEBALL: Dinosaurs play baseball —*Television explodes from the awesomeness before you can finish reading it.*

 

Movie Review: “Pacific Rim”

Normally I’d wait until an off-topic Thursday to do this, but I’ve decided to do this while the film is still fresh in my memory.

So, let’s cut to the chase: as an example of “film as art”, Pacific Rim may not be a great movie. It might not even be a good one. It doesn’t have much of a driving moral lesson or deep characters, nor does it provoke thoughts about what it means to be human. You can see 90% of the twists coming and you can spot references or scenes that are much like those in other films. No major new ground is broken.

However, as far as “film as entertainment”, Pacific Rim is a great movie, a eat-your-popcorn-and-enjoy-the-show experience that is also something that is an increasingly rare thing in modern movies: something new and original, and not a sequel, prequel, remake, adaptation or based on a true story.

That isn’t to say that Pacific Rim is something completely new. No, far from it. This is a film that follows in the footsteps of Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars, paying tribute to previous traditions while putting a new spin on them. In the case of Pacific Rim, director Guillermo del Toro is paying tribute to Japanese Science Fiction in general and the kaiju (giant monsters- Godzilla, Mothra, etc.) and mecha (giant robots) genres in particular.

Now, with that introduction of my most basic thoughts and a quick primer on the film out of the way, go below the jump to see what I liked and what I didn’t about Pacific Rim.

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Off-Topic Thursday: “Anchorman” done “Earthbound”-Style

As an off-topic video, here’s a video I found that combines two of my favorite things: the hilarious movie Anchorman and the cult video game classic Earthbound:

It’s the 20th Anniversary of “Rookie Of The Year”, here’s what I have to say about that

Pulling the curtain for a second, an admission:

I originally had this big plan where I would watch the now-20-year-old kid-baseball classic Rookie of the Year and figure out the statistics for it’s main character, Henry Rowengartner. But, alas, it was not to be: I inadvertently deleted it from my DVR, ruining my opportunity to bring the world such great baseball scholarship. One day, perhaps.

Still, some thoughts on Rookie of the Year:

Rookie of the Year was part of an early 90s mini-fad of baseball movies sparked by the late-80s success of Kevin Costner’s films and Major League. Other baseball movies from this time period include The Sandlot, A League of Their Own and Little Big League. I saw them on VHS when I was like five or six, possibly more times than was healthy. And, although in hindsight The Sandlot and A League of Their Own* were the best of the early 90s bunch, I think I watched Rookie of the Year and Little Big League more. It makes sense, come to think of it: They were wish-fulfillment tales. Who doesn’t wish to make it to the big leagues in some way? Heck, who doesn’t wish they could be doing it when they are still kids?

Anyway, for those of you who don’t know the story, Rookie of the Year is a semi-remake of an obscure movie called Roogie’s Bump. In the film, Henry Rowengartner, a baseball-loving boy in his early teens, suffers a strange injury that heals in such a way that his arm suddenly becomes able to throw MLB-level heat. The Cubs sign him, and, well, you can probably guess how the rest of the story goes.

While the film is unrealistic and pretty formulaic, it still is a fun watch, especially with John Candy as an announcer for the Cubs who opens up the movie with this ever-so-true line:

Opening Day at Wrigley, and oh what a sight! The diamond, the decorations, and the dread of yet another losing season.

 

Really, there isn’t much more that can be said, other than that as part of the Anniversary there have been a few articles about it.

For example, Yahoo!’s Mike Oz talked a bit to star Thomas Ian Nicholas (who has since gone on to star in the American Pie films) and director/supporting actor Daniel Stern about it. From it, I learned that, for example, John Candy was not originally involved with the film, but the studio liked the close-to-finished product enough that they let the producers hire John Candy to film a few scenes and voiceovers for the film.

Meanwhile, as a extra to Sports Illustrated‘s “Where Are They Now” issue, screenwriter Sam Harper revealed what happened to Henry after the film. Turns out that similar injuries led to him having brief careers in football and bowling.

So, if you see Rookie of the Year on cable in the coming days, feel free to think back to this post and those other articles. And also think how funky-buttloving (you’d get it if you saw the movie) awesome my look at Henry Rowengartner’s stats would have been.

*True story: I almost had a cameo in A League of Their Own as a redheaded toddler grandchild in the Cooperstown scenes at the end. But according to family legend, my parents didn’t want to drive all the way to Cooperstown for the shoot, especially since if I cried they’d probably just have some other 1-year-old do it and they’d have driven all the way to Cooperstown for nothing. And that, friends, is why Daniel J. Glickman doesn’t have an IMDB page noting his uncredited cameo in A League of Their Own.

The Joys of Strike Zone

The most under-rated and overlooked piece of baseball television is the MLB Strike Zone channel.

You probably have no idea what I am talking about. That proves the above point about it being the most overlooked piece of baseball television.

Put simply, MLB Strike Zone is a twice-weekly (usually Tuesdays and Fridays, but occasionally Wednesday as well) injection of nonstop baseball. Available on it’s own channel on most cable and satellite systems that have a sports package, Strike Zone is similar to MLB Tonight, only with little-to-none of the talking heads and with zero commercials. It is, in many ways, similar to the NFL RedZone channel: minimal interruption, maximum game action.

Watching yesterday, for example, I was able to see, amongst many other things: the David Phelps‘ meltdown against the Mets, Ryan Zimmerman‘s first and second home runs (I only missed the last one because I did some channel surfing), several good defensive plays, the Orioles’ comeback and the start of the late games. I would have, had I just chosen one or two games and switched between them, missed a lot. But with Strike Zone, I saw more-or-less everything of note that happened in baseball last night, live or with only a short delay.

And yet, nobody seems to talk about Strike Zone all that much. Perhaps because it is relatively new- it just started last year, after all. Or maybe it is because it doesn’t seem to receive much publicity: I’ve only seen maybe one or two commercials for it, and it seems like MLB Network itself is more focused on getting eyes on the games they are showing on the network on the nights that Strike Zone is on.

With luck, more will start paying attention to Strike Zone, and, with luck, it could even be expanded to more days of the week. So if you haven’t already, check it out.

Review of “42”

“Continuum Global News” will return next week, but better late than never, here’s my review of 42:

Jackie Robinson was, without question, the most important baseball player of the 20th century. While Babe Ruth may have been the most transcendent star, and Curt Flood proved a pivotal figure in the game’s labor history, Robinson’s effects did not simply stop at baseball. No, his effect was felt far beyond the diamond. How important was Jackie Robinson? Well, no less than Martin Luther King Jr. declared him an important member and symbol of the civil right movements. And, least we forget, Robinson was a great ballplayer as well, a career .311 hitter, a six-time All-Star, the Rookie of the Year in 1947 and MVP of 1949. Who knows what type of career he may have had (he didn’t make his MLB debut until age 28) if not for segregation and the war?

So given this, it’s sort of surprising that it’s taken this long for a modern biopic on Robinson. There was a biopic starring the man himself in 1950, and a TV movie about his court-martial in 1990 (starring Andre Braugher as Robinson), but nothing else. But, I guess good things come to those who wait, because 42, although far, far from perfect, is a fine movie that does well at honoring Robinson while also educating those who perhaps are not as familiar with the story.

(MORE AFTER JUMP)

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Off-Topic Thursday: Summer Trailer Spectacular

During the off-season, I occasionally had a “Off-Topic Tuesday” where I talked about stuff outside of baseball- usually something related to popular culture. Well, during the season, look for “Off-Topic Thursdays”, in which, well… you’ll see stuff that is off-topic. Like this:

Okay, so the summer slate of movies is coming, and while I have yet to see 42, it looks like it could be a fun summer with lots of interesting movies to go see. So, below the jump, I go through some of the trailers and give my thoughts. Note that I’m only going to look at traditional summer movie fare (action, adventures, maybe a comedy here and there)- if you wanted to hear my thoughts on the upcoming Great Gatsby movie, well, you’ve come to the wrong place.

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The Famous For Something Else Index (as of April 24, 2013)

Want to see all of the “Famous For Something Else” features so far? Go through the links below:

Mario Cuomo (Governor of New York State from 1983-1994)

Randy “Macho Man” Savage (Wrestler)

Ricky Williams (NFL Running Back)

John Elway (NFL Hall Of Fame QB)

John Lynch (9-Time Pro Bowl Safety)

Kurt Russell (Actor)

Michael Jordan (His Airness)

George Halas (HOF Football coach and player)

Danny Ainge (NBA player and executive)

Scott Patterson (Actor)

 

Famous For Something Else: Scott Patterson

I’m starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel of baseball players who became famous for doing something else, to the point where I’m now doing TV actors I had to look up on IMDB. So, anyway, here are the statistics for Scott Patterson (IMDB link). After his pitching career ended, he became an actor who has had roles in Gilmore Girls, some of the Saw films, Aliens in America and The Event.


(Go below the jump to see them.)

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Today is the 20th Anniversary of “The Sandlot”

Today is the 20th Anniversary of The Sandlot. Two things:

A) This makes me feel old (I must have watched that movie on VHS 200 times as a kid).

B) If you haven’t seen this movie, well… you’re killing me, Smalls!