Random wackiness: Things Cespedes may have fallen off of

Yesterday, the world was shocked as it came out that Yoenis Cespedes of the Mets had broken his ankle in an accident on his ranch. While reportedly this had nothing to do with falling off a horse, and instead may have been something as mundanely odd as just stepping into or falling into a hole awkwardly, I have another theory: He fell off something, but it wasn’t a horse.

So, for the sake of absurdity, here is a list of things that Yoenis Cespedes may have fallen off of:

  • Cow
  • Llama
  • Ostrich
  • Emu
  • Donkey (a member of the horse family, but not technically a horse)
  • Zebra (a member of the horse family, but not technically a horse)
  • Rhino
  • An unusually large dog
  • Giraffe
  • Elephant
  • Water buffalo
  • Camel
  • Yak
  • Reindeer
  • Moose
  • Lion
  • Tiger
  • Bear (oh my!)
  • Galapagos tortoise
  • Velociraptor
  • Triceratops
  • Woolly mammoth
  • Large human who was carrying him on their shoulders so he could see from a higher vantage point

Thank you for your time.

Things to be thankful for this year in Baseball

Happy Thanksgiving! Here are some things to be thankful for this year:

  • Be thankful for Bryce Harper and Mike Trout, extraordinarily talented young players who we should be seeing for years to come.
  • Be thankful for Justin Verlander’s ability to throw a fastball into triple digits in the 9th inning. I mean, wow.
  • Be thankful that baseball is in a golden age of labor peace.
  • Be thankful that teams like the Orioles and Athletics have returned to contention, and that the Blue Jays may be well on their way to it.
  • Be thankful that we live in an age where we can watch almost any game through the internet or through Extra Innings packages, so long as you don’t live in Vegas, Charlotte, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Iowa, or parts of New Mexico.
  • Be thankful for MLB Network, which is awesome.
  • Be thankful you aren’t a Marlins fan. If you are a Marlins fan, I suggest you binge on eggnog tonight. And then some.
  • Above all else, be thankful that there’s only about 82 days until pitchers and catchers report!