Yesterday, the world was shocked as it came out that Yoenis Cespedes of the Mets had broken his ankle in an accident on his ranch. While reportedly this had nothing to do with falling off a horse, and instead may have been something as mundanely odd as just stepping into or falling into a hole awkwardly, I have another theory: He fell off something, but it wasn’t a horse.
So, for the sake of absurdity, here is a list of things that Yoenis Cespedes may have fallen off of:
- Donkey (a member of the horse family, but not technically a horse)
- Zebra (a member of the horse family, but not technically a horse)
- An unusually large dog
- Water buffalo
- Bear (oh my!)
- Galapagos tortoise
- Woolly mammoth
- Large human who was carrying him on their shoulders so he could see from a higher vantage point
Thank you for your time.