CONTINUUCAST 7: 2016 Season Opening EXTRAVAGANZA!

It’s time for another Baseball Continuum CONTINUUCAST! This time with Eric Stephen, Travis Sarandos, and Michael Clair! In addition, Dan reveals his picks for the season! Hit play above, download by right-clicking here, follow the RSS feed here or follow on iTunes here or Stitcher here (if the latest episode isn’t up yet, it will be shortly).

 

Dan Glickman opens up the 2016 MLB Regular Season with a Continuucast with a record THREE guests, and also gives his season predictions!

 

First (at 3:10 in the podcast), Dan talks to Eric Stephen of True Blue LA about the Dodgers, covering their spring injury bug, Corey Seager, Vin Scully, and several other topics.
Then (at 23:24), Dan welcomes Travis Sarandos of Brew Crew Ball, BP Milwaukee and the “Dingers, Doubles and Drunks” podcast. They talk about the Brewers, whether Braun and/or Lucroy will be traded, the NL Central in general, the many excellent prospects on the way to Milwaukee, and whether Travis had any idea that his article theorizing that Hank the Ballpark Pup had been replaced would end up becoming so big.

 

The final guest (at 42:55) is Michael Clair of MLB.com’s Cut4 and formerly of Old Time Family Baseball! The two talk the MLB season, how awesome Opening Day is, Michael’s beloved Pittsburgh Pirates (and how he fell in love with them), give their championship predictions, and complain about how disappointing the Batman vs.  Superman movie was (SPOILER ALERT!).

 

Finally (at 1:18:19), Dan gives his season predictions for Major League Baseball in 2016! They will almost certainly be wrong, but now you have a recording to keep him from claiming otherwise.

 

Music/Sounds Featured:

 

“The National Game” by John Phillip Sousa

“The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy

“The D-O-D-G-E-R-S Song” by Danny Kaye

“I Love LA” by Randy Newman

“Beer Barrel Polka AKA Roll out the Barrel” by Frankie Yankovic

The Theme Song from Happy Days

“Black and Yellow” by Wiz Khalifa

“You Gotta Believe” (The early 1990s Pirates theme song)

“Bugler’s Dream/Olympic Anthem”

Excerpt of “Pennant Fever” from the Major League soundtrack

 

All sound and music used is either public domain or is a short snippet that falls under fair use.

 

(Blogathon ’16) Michael Clair: An (Abbreviated) People’s History of the World Through Baseball Cards

This guest-post is part of the 2016 Baseball Continuum Blogathon For Charity, benefiting the Roswell Park Alliance Foundation. The Roswell Park Alliance Foundation is the charitable arm of Roswell Park Cancer Institute and funds raised will be “put to immediate use to increase the pace from research trials into improved clinical care, to ensure state-of-the-art facilities, and to help improve the quality of life for patients and their families.” Please donate through the Blogathon’s GoFundMe page. Also, please note that the opinions and statements of the writer are not necessarily those of the Baseball Continuum or it’s webmaster.

In the beginning, there was nothing. Just a swirl of atoms and gasses mixing about in a sort of cosmic stew. Perhaps there were some Lovecraftian elder gods with tentacle faces flitting about but honestly, that’s all just conjecture.

And then, for some unknown reason, everything smashed together. This was the Big Bang.

From there … everything was set into motion, like when you’re playing Mouse Trap and you flip the switch that starts the aforementioned trap. Eventually, single celled organisms had to combine into fish who had to crawl out of the ocean and onto land.

Those things then turned into dinosaurs. I think.

Of course, Carl Everett may disagree with that.

Humanity eventually showed up, evolving from apes. Somehow,like Leo DiCaprio in “The Revenant,” they survived against the cold and the dark and the ancient beasts that wandered the world. After stumbling around, smashing rocks into things, the first farmers showed up about 8,500 years ago to plant crops.

It was at this time that animals were first domesticated, too. Little could these wild and violent creatures have imagined what would one day become of them:

With our faithful Labradoodles by our side, humans were safe to grow and learn. 5,000 years later, the first signs of writing appeared. Some say this was the first thing a homo sapien ever scratched out:

Flash forward to 800 BC and not only do we see the very first Homer, who is busy penning the Odyssey (side note: I can’t believe Topps has never come out with a Homer’s Odyssey line of cards, with dinger gods receiving Grecian-style prints), but, fittingly, that’s also when the Iron Age began.

Jacked bros will tell you that it’s never ended.

A few hundred years later, alchemists got busy looking for the philosopher’s stone that could transmute base metals into gold. They generally dressed like this:

Then in the 5th century King Arthur and his McKnights of the Round Table showed up. If you’re trying to tell me that Lancelot did not look like this, then you clearly haven’t been attending many Ren Fairs.

Soon enough, the Renaissance was upon us, ushering in a new world of emerging thought and, most importantly, art. A new understanding of human physics and how to depict them made humans look almost lifelike. Almost.

But the Renaissance would eventually be swept away under the coal-fueled wheels of the Industrial Revolution. Soon, the repeatable precision that came from factories and cameras forced man to become machine and art to change its very definition.

Soon after, the Wright Brothers would get tired of riding bikes all the time and they discovered flight. Sadly, it left poor Sean Lowe without a purpose any longer.

After some of the worst wars man had ever seen (shockingly, not a whole lot of World War I baseball cards featuring the poetry of Wilfred Owen), man discovered nuclear fusion and the world would be plunged into a new terror.

That fear would force humans to look to the stars. And if you believe the “official story”, we walked upon the moon. Yeah, right. Wake up sheeple.

Not much happened after that until the internet was created. Finally, people could send letters without having to write anything down, while also doing sex stuff without ever leaving their houses.

And cell phones were invented. And people could do more types of sex stuff without leaving their houses.

What will the future bring? Will we soon walk amongst the stars? Will we discover the purpose of existence? Will we be able to order pizza through emoji? Humans may have no idea, but baseball cards do.

(Image sources: Baseball Card Bust, eBay, Trading Card Database, Stunning Purple, This Card is Cool, Garvey Cey Russell Lopes, and probably more.)

Michael Clair writes for MLB.com’s Cut4 and will likely one day suffocate under his baseball card collection. Follow him @clairbearattack.

This guest-post was part of the 2016 Baseball Continuum Blogathon For Charity, benefiting the Roswell Park Alliance Foundation. The Roswell Park Alliance Foundation is the charitable arm of Roswell Park Cancer Institute and funds raised will be “put to immediate use to increase the pace from research trials into improved clinical care, to ensure state-of-the-art facilities, and to help improve the quality of life for patients and their families.” Please donate through the Blogathon’s GoFundMe page. Also, please note that the opinions and statements of the writer were not necessarily those of the Baseball Continuum or it’s webmaster.

Heads Up! Old Time Family Baseball’s blogathon has begun!

Just a heads up that Old Time Family Baseball‘s yearly blogathon to raise money for Doctors Without Borders has begun. If you don’t know about it, what happens is that Michael Clair, for 24 hours starting at 11 AM Eastern this morning, writes at least one blog entry every half hour. All day long. And then, starting tomorrow, the rest of the baseball internet takes over, as writers great and small contribute stuff to show support and fill the rest of the time as Clair recovers from his 24-hour baseball blogging binge.

I contributed a piece, and it’ll be up on Sunday. But don’t wait, head on over to OTFB now to see what crazy things are going on.

The Curse of Steve McCatty’s Playgirl Shoot (Humor)

On May 21, our friend Michael Clair over at Old Time Family Baseball wrote an article over at Baseball Prospectus in which he did tongue-in-cheek scouting reports of ballplayers who did Playgirl shoots in the 1980s. While he didn’t provide a scouting report on him, among the players who Clair exposed (pun intended) was Steve McCatty, who is now the pitching coach for the Washington Nationals.

Upon seeing the image, the Nationals did what any team would do when such a photo is brought back to light: use it as a team-wide gag/inspirational t-shirt.

However, since that fateful day, the Nationals fortunes have fallen. They are a mere .500 since Michael Clair’s article went up*, have fallen another game back in the NL East standings, and would have fallen back even more if not for the fact that the Braves were almost as averagely mediocre as the Nationals were.

Oh, and Stephen Strasburg left last night’s game with an injury. And Bryce Harper may be headed to the DL.

So, did the Steve McCatty Playgirl shoot curse the Nationals? I don’t know. But, then again, it’s no less ridiculous than Colonel Sanders cursing a Japanese team

*Yes, I do know that the Nationals were on a 4-game losing streak before the article went up. Now be quiet and let me tell the story.

Thank You, Capitalism: Five Baseball Things You Need to Own (By Michael Clair)

And now, a special guest post by our friend Mike Clair from Old Time Family Baseball:

Sure, anyone can purchase a throwback jersey, have a wall dedicated to obscure bobbleheads, and even tattoo phrases like “TOOTBLAN” on their toot-maker (I’m talking about your butt). But in case you ever need to prove that you’re not just a baseball fan, but that you’re a tastemaker, a thought leader, and a person ready and prepared for the challenges of tomorrow, well, these are the objects you need to purchase right now.

TEAM BOOB MUG

cardinals boob mug(1)Yes, you already have your team’s beer stein and perhaps some plastic $10 souvenir cup, but until you have your club’s logo monogrammed on a mammary, well, you’ve got nothing.

Even better, not only can you choose which team you want painted on your very own Large Boob Mug, you can also choose between an open and closed nipple. That’s Freedom. That’s America.

(via Etsy)

BASEBALL DIAPER

diaper

When creating a hybrid spawn of yourself and your significant other and/or person you met one night while staying at the Ramada Inn outside of Tulsa, it’s important that they reflect your interests.

And there’s no better way to do that than with diapers! While your newborn infant may not know how to control their bowel movements, they should at least look good while…not controlling their bowel movements.

(via eBay)

SPUDS MACKENZIE POSTERspuds

Are you a 35-year-old man who, because of a hilarious mix-up, has to go back to college in order to claim an inheritance? Then make sure your new roommate knows what a rad baseball-loving party animal you are with this classic and chic Spuds Mackenzie poster.

(via eBay)

THE YOUPPI LISTENING EXPERIENCE

While some think thyouppie Expos move to Washington was a carefully executed scheme by Jeffrey Loria, the truth is actually far more sinister. It turns out that foreign spy agencies were actually forcing political prisoners to dance around in the Youppi costume while his theme song was used for sick and twisted mind control experiments. To this day, Youppi is the nuclear detonation code in some provinces.

This is all true, by the way. You just have to go to the right websites.

(via eBay)

THE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CASKET

casket

Because when you’re going to rot in a hole in the ground, you may as well do it with officially licensed MLB gear.

Michael Clair runs Old Time Family Baseball. To the best of the Baseball Continuum’s knowledge, he does not actually own any of these items, but you’d have to check with him to make sure. -DG