In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I reveal the truth about one of the AL East’s mascots- Raymond of the Tampa Bay Rays.
Below you can see Raymond, the mascot of the Tampa Bay Rays:
You may be thinking that, given the fact that he is the mascot for the Rays, that he would be a Ray. You would be wrong. It turns out that he is NOT a Ray.
Yes, he is, apparently, a “seadog”. However, according to Wikipedia, there is no such thing as a seadog. Oh, it’s a slang term for seals, or for people (or dogs) that spend a lot of time at sea, but there is no such thing as a sea dog. Nothing of the species Canus Manta Whatthefluffalus. In fact, there isn’t even a genis called Canus. There is, obviously, Canis, which is where dogs are, but Canus (Latin for “aging”) does not.
So, what is it, Tampa? What is Raymond? What scientists truly discovered him? Could he be… (GASP) a mere man in a suit!?!?!
Tell us the truth, Tampa. We know you are hiding something.
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I speak of Dandy, the short-lived Yankees mascot.
Every team in MLB has a mascot, with three exceptions: the Angels (although they do have the Rally Monkey), the Dodgers… and the Yankees.
But, believe it or not, the Yankees did indeed have a mascot at one point! His name was Dandy, and he looked like this:
Created by Bonnie Erickson (who also designed Miss Piggy) and her husband and creative partner Wayde Harrison (together, they created the Phillie Phanatic, Youppi!, and other famed mascots), Dandy came to be in an attempt for the Yankees to replicate Phanatic Phever. With the Erickson/Harrison pedigree, a friendly and huggable shape, and a epic mustache, Dandy seemed destined for success. Even George Steinbrenner seemed interested in him, haggling with Erickson and Harrison to make sure that the color of Dandy’s pinstripes were the right shade.
And Dandy may have gotten away with it too, if not for that meddling Chicken. Two weeks before Dandy was to debut in 1979, Lou Piniella took umbrage at the San Diego Chicken (on loan to the Mariners) putting a hex on Ron Guidry and threw his mitt at him. After this incident, Steinbrenner declared that mascots had no place in baseball.
Still, a deal was a deal, so Dandy went into action- in a greatly reduced capacity. His opening debut, which would have involved a pre-set routine and theme music, was scrapped, never to be seen. The Yankees did everything in their power to make him as unimportant as possible, even saying in their team guide that he was just there to amuse the kiddies and stay as far away from the action as possible. True to their word, he was confined up in the cheap-seats.
To make matters worse, for a time Dandy was banned from the stadium outright because his mustache called to mind Thurman Munson, who died in a tragic plane crash.
So, perhaps it isn’t surprising that the few years that Dandy existed were ones of obscurity. As early as the 1990s, people who worked for the Yankees claimed that there never even was a mascot. At one point, during a rare public appearance, Dandy was attacked by a group of drunk bankers, causing the guy inside of the costume- somebody named Rick Ford- to hold it for ransom.
Amazingly, though, it wasn’t the Yankees who cancelled Dandy. It was Erickson and Harrison, who hated how marginalized their creation was. They took him and went home when his lease was up, despite the fact the Yankees were interested in renewing it. To this day, they still own the rights and design, so if you are an eclectic millionaire looking to have a obscure mascot at your next birthday party… give them a call.
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I waste time on YouTube watching old Mariners ads.
It is one of those generally known facts that the Mariners have some of the best commercials in baseball. I’m not sure where and when this piece of wisdom first came into being, but it exists. So, let’s go back and look at some past Mariners ads, shall we?
It is unusual to think in this world where some people spent most of the last few seasons complaining about bat-flips that as early as 2003 there was an ad based upon the fact that Bret Boone had a bat flip.
2003: Ichiro Shift
What’s scary is that this isn’t so much a commercial so much as it is a documentary. I wonder how they got all the Athletics stuff, though. I mean, they even have the mascot there. That’s not exactly something you buy from a prop store. Maybe the conversation went like this:
“Hey, we need like 25 uniforms and the elephant suit.”
“Why?”
“We’re making a commercial that implies that even if every member of your roster was on the field, we’d still be able to get a hit off of you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, that is absurd.”
“It’s Ichiro.”
“Okay, that makes sense. We’ll get them to you next Tuesday.”
2004: Ichiro Autograph
The fact we never got a sitcom about Ichiro living in a small anytown Seattle suburb is greatly disappointing. Also, the idea that Ichiro could throw a ball to Spokane from Seattle (a distance of about 230 miles) is only slightly less realistic than his previous commercial.
2005: Ichiro and Raul Ibanez sell the Batter’s Box in a Telethon
“Dude.”
“Dude.”
2006: Jamie Moyer Tribute
What’s great about this one is that Jamie Moyer played parts of five more seasons after 2006.
2006: The Missing Ks
I like the devotion to the gag here, but it’s a bit “meh” compared to some of the other ads.
2006: Epidemic
I feel like “Ichiro’ing” with lawn equipment would be dangerous. But, hey, who am I to argue?
2006: Big Richie
Wait, is that Nick Punto as a catcher at the end? He never played catcher!
2008: Fullness and Sheen
Somewhere, Mr. Burns trembles.
2008: L-Screen
Worth it if only for the question of what happened to the original L-screen.
2010: Two First Names
A) I totally forgot somehow that Cliff Lee and Felix Hernandez were on the same team. B) How did this conversation about two first names get started? I want to know.
2012: Impressions
Worth it if only for Ichiro quoting Indiana Jones.
2012: Nobody’s Perfect
I wonder if they had a giveaway of the ventriloquist doll?
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I talk about the most trying trial in sports: the Baltimore Orioles’ physical process, which has infamously torpedoed several deals in the past.
From: Peter Angelos
To: Orioles Training Staff
Subject: Physicals
Gentleman,
As you know, we here at the Baltimore Orioles pride ourselves on having players who are in top physical form. We cannot risk somebody getting injured, we are putting too much money into them to have that happen. Therefore, I’d like to remind you of our process:
The usual stuff the other teams do. They don’t go far enough, but they are on the right track.
We then do the usual stuff again a second time, just to make sure.
The doctor shall slowly toss a baseball to the the player. They must catch it. We need to make sure that they have good reflexes!
There is a heavy bat in the clubhouse that only the truly healthy can lift. The would-be acquisition must lift this bat to prove their vigor. Yes, even the pitchers. Especially the pitchers.
Crabcakes. They must eat them. No Baltimore Oriole can be expected to not eat crabcakes. If they cannot eat crabcakes, or are allergic to them, they are not worthy of being Baltimore Orioles.
We then do the usual again for a third time, again to make sure.
10 push-ups. No exceptions.
Sadly, we have been told we can no longer have would-be signings swim across Baltimore Harbor naked. In lieu of this, we’ll just have to do the usual stuff for a fourth time.
They must allow us to stare into their souls. It’s awkward to just sit there while a doctor or trainer stares at you, but it is necessary.
Ask me if I actually want to pay them that much money or for that many years. If I say no, just say you found something wrong.
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, in the final installment, an open letter from a Rochester Red Wings fan to their parent club.
TO: Minnesota Twins
CC: General Manager Terry Ryan, CEO Jim Pohlad, Director of Minor League Operations Brad Stell, Manager Paul Molitor
SUBJECT: Sano and Buxton
Hello,
I am writing as a fan of the Rochester Red Wings, your AAA club. You’ve been good to us over the years. We’ve made the playoffs twice and come close a few other times since this affiliation began, and we’ve been lucky enough to see Justin Morneau, Michael Cuddyer, Brian Dozier, Francisco Liriano, Denard Span, Grant Balfour, Glen Perkins, and many other fine players. We even got to have Joe Mauer and Joe Nathan stop by briefly on rehab assignments, which was nice.
But, not to sound ungrateful, we have a simple request for this coming season: Miguel Sano and Byron Buxton. We very much would like it if you had them stop here before you inevitably call them up in September (if not earlier), perhaps never to grace minor league fields again.
Now, we understand. Neither of them have been able to put much time in AA yet, and with a new affiliate in the Chattanooga Lookouts, you no doubt are looking to make a good first impression. And, what’s more, Chattanooga’s climate is probably way better for a young baseball player in April and May than Rochester’s is.
Seriously, the weather here in April can never seem to remember what season it is. Yesterday, I was in shorts, but this weekend, it could snow.
However, that doesn’t change the fact that, come June, Rochester would be the perfect place for Minnesota’s two biggest prospects since Mauer to prepare for the big leagues. The weather will be getting warmer, schools will start letting out, and Frontier Field will start getting packed. By the 4th of July, the stadium will be full basically every Friday night, with some fans packing cowbells and giveaway thunder-stix, much to the annoyance of some people.
And it’ll be even more special if we have Byron Buxton and Miguel Sano to cheer on. Some of us have been waiting for years to see them. So, please, if at all possible, don’t make them bypass AAA.
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, Cleveland!
Sports Illustrated has predicted that the Cleveland Indians will win the World Series this season, breaking the Curse of Rocky Colavito and bringing (depending on how the Cavaliers do) possibly the first “Big Four” title to Cleveland since the 1964 Browns*.
I don’t agree with them, but I can sort of see where they are coming from- the Indians are one of those teams that are way better than many people think.
After all, they have some of the most underrated players in the game. Michael Brantley came in third place for MVP last year, and yet he’s most anonymous. Yan Gomes is becoming one of the best catchers in the league. Jason Kipnis and Carlos Santana are good and sometimes great, although Santana had a bad year batting average last year (he made up for it, some could argue, by leading the league in walks). New addition Brandon Moss has pop.
And, oh, right, they have the reigning AL Cy Young in Corey Kluber, who may be the most anonymous Cy Young Award winner ever. I’m reasonably sure that if you asked 100 baseball fans who won the AL Cy Young last year, most of them would think it was Felix Hernandez or Chris Sale or that Clayton Kershaw was so good they just gave him the AL Cy Young based on his interleague games. And it’s not just Kluber- SI noted this:
“After last year’s All-Star break the rotation led the majors in strikeout rate (9.33 per nine), home run rate (0.56 per nine) and FanGraphs’ WAR (11.0), while trailing only the Nationals in ERA (2.95).”
Hmm… maybe SI is on to something.
If they are, LeBron James really is going to have to win the NBA title this season, otherwise his title as Cleveland’s savior might end up taken by Terry Francona (who, of course, has a habit of breaking curses). I mean, damn, he comes back to Cleveland and it ends up that the Indians end the city’s long championship drought? And what if they beat the Yankees on the way? Oh, the awkwardness!
Next Time: The Reds
*Football note: It is a cruel irony that all of the Browns’ titles came before the Super Bowl was instituted, as the Super Bowl ended up becoming such an institution that the NFL’s pre-Super Bowl champions have become almost afterthoughts in the sport’s history. The Browns won 4 pre-Super Bowl NFL championships and four title in the All-America Football Conference, a sort of proto-AFL that was partially absorbed into the NFL in 1950. However, their total lack of titles- even conference titles- in the Super Bowl era have turned them into a joke amongst football fans. A similar cruel fate has befallen the Detroit Lions and the Buffalo Bills’ AFL championship teams.
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, we’ve reached the Los Angeles Angels of Angel Stadium of Anaheim, 2000 Gene Autry Way, Anaheim, Orange County, California, USA, North America, Northwestern Hemisphere, Planet Earth, Sol System, Milky Way.
The new Out Of The Park Baseball came out yesterday, and while my review won’t be coming for another week or so, I decided I’d give it a quick spin today to see what it thinks of the Angels for this year. Go below the jump, as this is very image intensive.
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here.Today, I talk briefly about the Chicago White Sox.
The White Sox spent the off-season helping build a team that could contend in the AL Central this coming year. Whether they will succeed is more up for debate. Among the additions: Zach Duke, Adam LaRoche, David Robertson, and Jeff Samardzija.
However, the player to most watch isn’t one of the new guys. No, the player to watch is the sophomore MLB season version of Jose Abreu.
Consider his season last year, his first in MLB after arriving from Cuba. He hit .317 with a .964 OPS and 36 HRs… and this was while missing some time with a knee injury.
And now, it’s his second year coming up. If the White Sox do well, it could prove to be his breakout amongst more casual baseball fans, especially if he is able to do better this year than he did last. Is it possible that he could hit 50 HRs? Perhaps. And that would be something to see.
In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, I celebrate Evacuation Day by talking Red Sox.
On March 17, 1776, as the Colonial forces reinforced their siege with cannons taken from Fort Ticonderoga, the British decided that their position in Boston was too threatened to be sustainable. So they left. And there was much rejoicing. In fact, to this day, Bostonians celebrate “Evacuation Day”, a city holiday that totally wasn’t chosen specifically as an excuse to give the heavy Irish-American population of Boston an excuse to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day without coming up with an excuse to leave work.
So, in honor of St. Patri- err… Evacuation Day, today we are talking Boston. Red Sox, that is.
To be more exact, let’s talk about the guys they acquired this off-season:
First off, the big guy (pun only somewhat intended): Pablo Sandoval. Some Red Sox fans, upon seeing him in spring training, thought he was overweight. Well, maybe he is, but that’s just Kung Fu Panda. He’s always like that. However, that hasn’t stopped him before, and he has the reflexes needed for third base. And he can still hit, of course, and with him now in the AL, he can DH at times, although of course David Ortiz will usually be in charge of that.
Next, Hanley Ramirez. He’s finally returned to Boston, after being traded by them way back in 2005 in the Josh Beckett deal. Now, he’s going to be a left-fielder. This could be interesting, seeing as how Hanley Ramirez has never played outfield before, much less had to deal with the odd bounces of the Green Monster. This will really be something to watch.
Wade Miley, acquired from the ever-anonymous Diamondbacks, is in some ways as anonymous as the team he came from. He’s good, but not great. He had a great rookie year in 2011, but has been middle-of-the-road since then, with a 3.94 ERA. Still, maybe a change in scenery will do him good and get him back to his rookie self.
Rick Porcello also has joined the Red Sox, acquired in the Cespedes deal, as well as Justin Masterson, signed the same day. Alexi Ogando and Craig Breslow also signed. Porcello should be a fine addition, but Masterson, Breslow and Ogando will have to bounce back from injuries and off-years.
How all these deals work out may determine how Boston does this year in the AL East.
Do you see the relevant thing, here?
Yes, he is, apparently, a “seadog”. However, according to Wikipedia, there is no such thing as a seadog. Oh, it’s a slang term for seals, or for people (or dogs) that spend a lot of time at sea, but there is no such thing as a sea dog. Nothing of the species Canus Manta Whatthefluffalus. In fact, there isn’t even a genis called Canus. There is, obviously, Canis, which is where dogs are, but Canus (Latin for “aging”) does not.
The Baseball Continuum 
