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Tag Archives: MLB
Curse of Steve McCatty Update
Since Michael Clair unleashed images of Nationals’ pitching coach Steve McCatty‘s 1980s Playgirl shoot upon the world, the Nationals have gone 31-38. In contrast, the Braves have gone 13-0 since opening a Waffle House at Turner Field, and now hold a 15.5 game lead over the Nationals in the NL East.
In other words, finding out your pitching coach was in Playgirl causes you to go under .500, while getting a Waffle House in your stadium ensures roughly two weeks and counting of undefeated play. It’s science.
Biogenesis Day Live-Blog
It’s (maybe) Biogenesis Day! So, I’ll be doing a running live-blog of thoughts, news, and pitiful attempts to be funny. Well, mostly. I might miss an hour or two due to an appointment. So, go below the jump for it, I’ll be adding more and more as the day goes on.
Remember, children: Brian Wilson’s beard is weird
In honor of Brian Wilson‘s return to baseball as a member of the Dodgers, here’s a classic commercial from ESPN that revealed the horrible truth about Wilson’s beard and it’s dark powers:
Every way (well, 25 ways) the A-Rod madness might end (HUMOR after awhile)
Oh boy. The whole saga over Alex Rodriguez keeps getting weirder and weirder. With each passing day, he seems to be finding some new doctor, tweeting out something, making some sort of appearance on radio or TV, or coming under some sort of further Biogenesis news.
So, how does it end? I have come up with EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME, and listed them below:
- Alex Rodriguez does early August rehab and is back with the Yankees sometime that month before getting suspended in some way by the end of the year. Because, really, at this point, there is no way he is avoiding getting suspended.
- Alex Rodriguez goes through rehab, but then is suspended for going over the Yankees’ head with getting a second opinion, so he doesn’t actually start until late August. THEN he gets suspended by MLB.
- Alex Rodriguez uses various legal tricks and appeals to play but then is suspended in the off-season.
- Alex Rodriguez is suspended by MLB before he can actually play in the majors this season.
- Alex Rodriguez suffers another injury set-back and doesn’t play.
- Alex Rodriguez just up and retires to avoid all of the Biogenesis and injury stuff.
- Alex Rodriguez cuts a deal with MLB about this whole Biogenesis stuff, is out the rest of the season and probably next year too, but then tries to make a comeback in 2015.
- Alex Rodriguez fights the Biogenesis investigation, loses, and is either suspended for a very long time or is just upright banned.
- Various variations of 1 through 8.
- (From this point on, it’s humor) It is revealed that the Alex Rodriguez everyone has been watching since he went to the Rangers is actually a magically-hidden centaur doppelganger and that the real Alex Rodriguez has been in a cryogenic chamber somewhere near Seattle since 2000.
- Brian Cashman, finally having reached his breaking point with all of this nonsense, challenges A-Rod to a duel to the death.
- Alex Rodriguez is seen with somebody like Lindsay Lohan or Amanda Bynes or something, causing Deadspin and TMZ to collide, forming a black hole that sucks up the entire internet.
- Alex Rodriguez begins to go under the alias of “Carlos Danger”.
- Alex Rodriguez, hoping to show just how fine and game ready he is, does a workout in his driveway in front of assembled media.
- Alex Rodriguez announces that his home planet needs him, leaves, and is never heard from again.
- Alex Rodriguez tries to sneak onto the field of a Yankees game by trying to go incognito as Dandy, the Yankees’ short-lived mascot.
- It turns out that “Biogenesis” was the name of his sleigh.
- It is revealed that Alex Rodriguez’s entire career has taken place inside of a snowglobe and the imagination of an autistic child.
- Goes to Taiwan, where people will still pack the stadium just to see him.
- Alex Rodriguez goes and buys some Shwarma.
- Alex Rodriguez moves to Vegas and spends the rest of his days signing memorabilia.
- Sits in his room for rest of his days eating ice cream and watching Ice Station Zebra. Hey, it worked for Howard Hughes.
- He not only makes it back, but he hits a dramatic walkoff home run that hits the light standards and causes them to explode.
- Due to a quirk in the CBA, is suspended but is able to continue playing in the minor leagues, where he tutors young prospects or something.
- Alex Rodriguez wakes up from his nap, turns and sees Ken Griffey Jr. in the locker next to him, and says “You won’t believe the dream I just had.”
The Spectrum of Braun Tweets
In the hours since the Ryan Braun news broke, you could see a wide variety of responses. Here are the types I found… I am not including examples as a way to protect the innocent and/or guilty. In addition, many tweets may be crosses between the below.
The Purely Informational Tweet: Tells us what’s happening, how people are reacting, give us further details, etc.
The “He had it coming” Tweet: Self-explanatory.
The “He should apologize” Tweet: He should apologize to his teammates, he should apologize to that sample-collector, he should apologize to the arbitrator, he should apologize to the fans, he should apologize to his family, he should apologize to those who defended him, he should apologize to Matt Kemp for winning the 2011 MVP Award instead of him, etc.
The “Not Enough” Tweet: Suggesting that Braun got off easy. Other suggestions can range anywhere from 100 games to some who suggest expunging Braun from the record books, banning him for life and then shooting him on a rocket towards the heart of the Sun. Only slightly exaggerating.
The “Who Cares?” Tweet: Somebody either says they don’t care about PED use anymore or don’t see what the big deal is because the Brewers are already out of playoff contention.
The “A-Rod’s Next” Tweet: Self-explanatory.
The “Tie this into another event” Tweet: Ranging from the rather apt comparison of the reaction to Braun’s suspension to the reaction to the suspension of the NFL’s Von MIller to the rather silly, such as saying that this means that the Royal Baby won’t be named “Ryan”.
The “Get off your high horses” Tweet: Again, self-explanatory, usually aimed either at sportswriters or MLB itself.
The “MLB is just as bad” Tweet: Focuses on the fact that some of the methods that MLB has used in these investigation are rather suspect morally or ethically. In extreme cases this may appear to be an attack on MLB instead of a condemnation of both MLB and Braun.
The “Anti-Semitic” Tweet: I haven’t seen any, but given the fact that this is Twitter and some real scumbags are on it, I’m sure they exist.
The “Woah” Tweets: People are so stunned at this development that they just can say “wow” or “woah” or something similar.
Any types I’m missing?
Things to look for in the second half
The second half starts tomorrow! Here’s what to watch for:
The Wild East: The craziest and most interesting division in baseball will remain the American League East, with four teams over .500 and another that could conceivably do so (the Blue Jays). Can Boston keep it up? Can the Orioles or Rays finally get a good enough winning streak to overtake them? Will the Yankees finally decide whether they are a good team or a bad one? Can the Blue Jays finally put it together, or are they headed towards a giant flop?
Trade Deadline… without that many big names: By the end of the month, the following players may be traded: Matt Garza, Justin Morneau, Marlon Byrd, maybe Jesse Crain and… jeez, these are hardly game changers, aren’t they? I mean, they certainly are players that can decide the outcomes of games, and even one game can often make a difference between playoffs or not, but it feels like the days of big names getting moved at the deadline are at an end. Well, they are unless the Phillies finally give up on the year and start shopping Cliff Lee around.
Record Chases: Chris Davis is aiming for the AL HR record. Manny Machado has his sights on the season doubles record. Raul Ibanez is gunning for HRs in a season by somebody over 40. Can any of them do it?
Pirates! Will they collapse again? Will they finally make the playoffs for the first time since Barry Bonds was skinny? Heck, will they finish .500 or better? Outlook good, but, well, it would be foolish to make assumptions.
Yasiel Puig. Can he keep it up, or will he turn out to be a flash-in-the-pan?
Well, we start finding out tomorrow…
This is how Mariano Rivera’s final year will be remembered
Cal Ripken went hitless in his final game. In fact, with some rare exceptions like Ted Williams, most baseball greats go out quietly. It isn’t a surprise, really, since most of the time they are retiring for the good reason they don’t have what it takes to be a good everyday player anymore.
Which is why last night’s All-Star Game was important. Much like with Ripken in 2001’s All-Star Game, it allowed us, as a baseball culture, to say goodbye to Mariano Rivera. Oh, he will pitch again, probably many times. There’s even a chance he could still have more chances to close out a game in October. But none of them will be as perfect as last night: there he stood, alone, just him and his catcher (the highly underrated Salvador Perez of the Royals) with both fans and opponents giving him a round of applause for the finest career a reliever has ever had.
And then, of course, he put down all three batters he faced, 1-2-3. No hits, runs or walks allowed.
Yes, it wasn’t perfect- he came out and pitched in the 8th inning, as Jim Leyland took an abundance of caution to make sure he played in the game (although I highly doubt that a bullpen that had Joe Nathan, Jesse Crain and Glen Perkins in it would have given up a 3-run lead). But in some ways, it was fitting, a passing of the torch from Rivera to Nathan and the other closers, young and old, who hold the role that Mariano has defined: the near-invincible 9th inning guy.
Of course, it is unlikely that we will see another player like Mariano again. The increased parity of baseball makes it unlikely that anybody will ever be able to have as many World Series saves, since it’s unlikely that a team will so dominate baseball again like the Yankees of the late 90s did. It’s also unlikely that anybody will ever be able to truly throw the cutter as well as Mariano Rivera– if they could, they’d probably have shown up by now. But the real reason why we won’t see another Rivera is simple: he, like Ripken, is a almost singular icon, not so much a man as he is an ideal.
“This is what we wish all our athletes could be like,” we say, “intimidating but friendly, ruthless on the field but charitable off it, respectful of the game’s history even as they make it themselves”
And although there may one day be another closer like that, perhaps one even more dominating than Rivera, it likely won’t matter, for our nostalgia will have made the last man to wear Number 42 just as untouchable in our minds as the most famous man to wear number 42.
And last night proved it, and gave fans of every team a chance to show it.
Five questions to be answered in the 2013 All-Star Game
So, the All-Star Game is tonight, so here are some questions that will be answered tonight:
- What non-Met will get the biggest cheer? It’s a given that the Mets will get the biggest cheer, but who will get the biggest cheer outside of them? I’m going to guess Mariano Rivera, making his final All-Star Game appearance.
- How will Matt Harvey do? The last time a starter started in his “home” park for the ASG, it was Roger Clemens in 2004. That didn’t go well for the then-Astro, as he gave up six runs in the first inning. Harvey has to do better than that, I have to think.
- The Youth Movement: This is the first starting appearance for Mike Trout and Bryce Harper, and the first All-Star Game period for Manny Machado, amongst other young players who are expected to be mainstays in these games for years to come. As the All-Star Game is often a place where players on lesser-seen teams are first exposed to the wider world, how they show themselves is going to be important, as first impressions mean alot.
- Who’s gonna do this seriously? There are two types of All-Star participants: those that buy into the concept and play more-or-less like they would any other game, and those that just get their innings done and then get on their plane back home after a few quick interviews… possibly before the game even ends. Similarly, there are varying degrees of All-Star managers- there are those that are trying to win and will try to keep most (but not all- there will still be some defensive replacements and pinch-hitters early on no matter what, especially for players who have some injury problems) of their position player starters in for at least two or three plate appearances before trying to get everybody in in around sixth or seventh inning, and then there are those that start putting in everyone they can find in, like, the fourth or fifth inning. Possibly earlier, if they get an early lead.
- Mariano Rivera’s farewell inning: With the Yankees’ playoff chances in perilous position, it’s possible this will be his last appearance before a national audience. Even if the game is a blowout, this should be a good reason to stay up.
See you tomorrow, everyone.
The last time the Twins won a series in the Bronx…
The Twins beat the Yankees today, winning their first series in the Bronx since they won this May 10, 2001 game. How long ago was that?
- It was 4448 days, or 12 years, 2 months and 4 days, ago.
- Tom Kelly was still the manager of the Twins, who were under threat of contraction at the time.
- The Twin Towers were still standing, Ted Williams and George Harrison were still alive, Barack Obama was a Illinois State Senator, and the first Apple Stores had not yet opened (they opened later that month).
- The curses of the Bambino, the Black Sox, Billy Penn and Coogan’s Bluff all were still active.
- Joe Mauer had not yet been drafted and some thought he’d instead pursue a college football career.
- Cal Ripken, Mark McGwire and Tony Gwynn were still active MLB players.
- Heck, Deion Sanders was an active MLB player at the time.
- The top movie that week was The Mummy Returns.
- “All For You” by Janet Jackson and “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child were the hit songs at the time.
- Bryce Harper was eight-and-a-half years old.
- Star Trek: Voyager was still on the air, 24 had not yet begun to air.
- There had not yet been a Spider-Man movie released. Nor had there been any Harry Potter movies released.
- Gas was under $2 a gallon.
- Of the players in that game, only Mariano Rivera, Torii Hunter, AJ Pierzynski, LaTroy Hawkins, Derek Jeter and Andy Pettitte are still active. That is actually a higher number than I expected.
- All-Star Games did not give home-field advantage in the World Series.
- The best-selling nonfiction book in America was Seabiscuit. The book, that is, not the movie. The movie wouldn’t be made for another two years.
- The Nintendo 64 and the first Playstation were the most up-to-date video game systems.
- Michael Jordan had not yet had his comeback with the Washington Wizards.
- However, some thing have not changed: Vin Scully is still in the booth for the Dodgers, The Simpsons is still on the air, Bud Selig is still commissioner, nobody has approached Cy Young‘s win record, and, of course, the Cubs still haven’t won a World Series since 1908.
The Baseball Continuum 