“30 Teams, 30 Posts”: Musings and Mysteries on Evan Longoria’s cap commercial from 2010

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, I remember Evan Longoria’s chase for a lost cap.

The year was 2010, and Evan Longoria had his hat stolen. A wild chase ensued, as he pursued the cap-napper across the Tampa Bay area (presumably), doggedly hunting to get his cap back.

It was all covered in a New Era commercial:

I’m not sure why this has stuck with me. Maybe it’s because, like almost every other commercial, it got spammed ten thousand times during the 2010 season. Or maybe it’s because of the many mysteries within it:

Like, how did the guy steal his hat to begin with?

It appears from the very beginning that the cap-napper had his cap from the very beginning. You never see him grab it. You never see it in Longoria’s possession to begin with. Clearly, we are either not seeing a few crucial seconds, or there is something very wrong with Evan Longoria and he merely was looking for an excuse to chase a guy through the city.

What’s so special about that cap?

It looks fresh out of the box, it doesn’t look like it’s been used or would have any sentimental value. And, I mean, jeez, the Rays must have like hundreds of them. And why was he wearing his cap out and about on the town, anyway? It’s his work uniform. Do you see football players walk around with their helmets on? Do you surgeons walk around in full scrubs?


Why does he abandon that bike?

I mean, jeez, just dropping it like that on the streets? Somebody could run over it or trip on it or something! And did he steal it? Because, uhm, I’m not sure if hijacking a bike is justified when chasing a cap-napper.

Where are the old people?

There are lots of elderly individuals in the Tampa Bay metropolitan area. You don’t see any of them in this. What strange world does this commercial take place in?

Why would he jump out of a helicopter?

Yes, I know it was actually a stuntman, but how could any person be that reckless?!?! Yeesh. What were you thinking, Evan?

I believe that Longoria did get his hat back, but we may never truly know. Maybe he has been hunting for his cap ever since 2010, and the one we’ve seen play is merely a duplicate that he created so he can continue to pursue justice.

Or something like that.



MVP of Yesterday (May 7, 2013): Angel Hernandez

Angel Hernandez, Umpire, was instrumental in Cleveland’s victory over Oakland yesterday, somehow missing a call even with the help of replay that would have shown that Oakland’s Adam Rosales had hit a game-tying HR in the 9th inning.

But, instead, he declared that it was not a home run, and the Athletics ended up losing the game. And, what’s more, the Indians won thanks to Angel Hernandez!

(Note: The above is a joke, the actual MVP of Yesterday is Evan Longoria, who went 3-4 with a HR and 3 RBIs in a win against Toronto.)

MVP Standings (as always) are under the jump:

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Long-Term Deals: The Way to the Future

Two things caught my eye this morning, and while on first glance you would think they aren’t related, in fact they may be tied together.

The first is an article by Jeff Passan on how the money involved with regional sports network deals, such as the one the Dodgers are expected to take that will be between $6 and $7 billion dollars, are going to widen the gap between the rich and poor in baseball.

The second is the news that Evan Longoria has signed a $100 million dollar extension with Tampa that will keep him with the team until as late as 2023, depending on options.
How are these connected? Well, in a word, the events of the first article will probably lead to us seeing more deals like the Longoria deal of the second article.

Consider: the bubble of money that Regional Sports Networks will bring the big market teams- amounts of money that not even revenue sharing will dent all of that much- will make it extremely hard for teams to keep top free agents from leaving. A team like Tampa will just simply be unable to outbid, even on a good day, one of the top markets. While of course there will be some exceptions such as “hometown discounts” and big markets botching negotiations, the fact is that the best way for a smaller market to keep talent will be to make sure that they never leave in the first place. The way to do that? Sign them up early, and sign them up often.

Longoria, for example, had already been signed to a contract extension early in his career, before he became his MVP self. That was a deal extremely kind to the Rays. This second deal is more in line with Longoria’s value, but is also good for the Rays (at least in the short-term), since it means that he won’t be leaving.

Longoria’s deal is just the latest in what has become a trend… but expect it to become the norm as time goes on.

An Eyewitness account of Evan Longoria’s setback

So, I was at the ballpark last night. Evan Longoria was in town with Durham on a rehab assignment- having injured his hamstring earlier in the year. I’ve seen him before in the big leagues, but the chance to see a ballplayer on a rehab assignment in the minors is something you should never pass up: you can see them far closer for far cheaper. Why, you can get close enough to realize they have begun growing more facial hair.

Good thing I went last night, otherwise I wouldn’t have seen him at all.


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