Breaking OOTP, Episode 4: The Seattle MARIOners vs. Pablo Sanchez and the Backyard Kids


In BREAKING OOTP, I push Out Of The Park Baseball to it’s limits in various scenarios. Some will answer questions, some will settle scores, and some will push Out Of The Park Baseball to it’s very limits, to see if I can literally cause the game engine to beg for mercy.

Last time, we made the Seattle Mariners be full of Mario and Donkey Kong characters. This week, though, we have a exhibition series between the MARIOners (minus any Mariners) and… the Backyard Baseball kids (shown here to be on the Dodgers, because reasons)! Yes, Mario vs. Pablo Sanchez. At stake: The title of GREATEST VIDEO GAME BASEBALL TEAM OF ALL TIME.

Or something like that. Go below the jump, and be sure to check the previous post to see how I created the Mario characters- I used an almost-identical process for the Backyard Kids:

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“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2015): For the Dodgers, there is no kill like overkill

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, the Dodgers.

Today, the Dodgers reportedly signed Cuban 3B defector Hector Olivera for six years and 62.5 million dollars. Now, they have a 3B currently in Juan Uribe, and his secondary position of 2B has Howie Kendrick there, but this is the Dodgers, and for them, there is no kill like overkill.

Flush with cable cash (despite the fact that, ironically, most of LA’s population is unable to watch due to carriage issues) and the fact they are in Los Angeles, and with star power on the field, in the stands and in the owner’s box (when Magic Johnson calls to see if you are interested in playing for the Dodgers, you listen), the Dodgers have, in some ways, taken over for the Yankees as the team for which money is no object.

For example, the Dodgers certainly could have been fine if their rotation was Kershaw, Greinke, Ryu (who is currently hurt) and then two other guys, but, nope, they go ahead and give Brandon McCarthy 48 million dollars, despite the fact he struggled with the Diamondbacks last year, only to inexplicably turn it around after going to the American League with the Yankees. Because they are the Dodgers, and if they want the best Twitter-user in baseball to be their number four starter, they will do it. It wouldn’t be shocking at all if they add somebody else, like Cole Hamels, sometime during the season, thus pushing McCarthy to fifth on the depth chart, should Ryu be healthy by that point. Oh, and they also have Brett Anderson and Brandon Beachy (who should have recovered from Tommy John surgery by mid-season), too. And, while I’m no expert on the Dodgers’ farm system, I’m sure they have somebody at AAA who is willing to step up if anybody gets hurt or underperforms.

And then, of course, there is the lineup. Here’s what the opening-day lineup for the Dodgers will likely be:

1. Jimmy Rollins

2. Carl Crawford

3. Yasiel Puig

4. Adrian Gonzalez

5. Yasmani Grandal

6. Howie Kendrick

7. Joc Pederson

8. Juan Uribe

9. Pitcher

That’s a good lineup. But, don’t worry, if that lineup doesn’t work, it’s nothing that money won’t fix. Because there’s no amount to high, and no kill like overkill.

Tomorrow: The Rockies




How Don Mattingly can try to get fired (HUMOR)

In a Ken Rosenthal article earlier today, a rival GM said that Dodgers Manager Don Mattingly is practically trying to get fired after his infamous ripping into of longtime RF Andre Ethier on Wednesday. However, despite that and the horrible 19-26 start for the Dodgers, he is expected to still be the skipper of Los Angeles when the sun rises on Friday.

Therefore, if we were to foolishly take the rival GM’s quotation literally, we can only guess that Mattingly has not done enough to get fired. Therefore, I have suggestions for him as he tries to escape the black hole of horrible the Dodgers’ season has been so far:

  • Accuse Tommy Lasorda of not actually bleeding Dodger Blue, but instead bleeding the red that everyone else has.
  • Hit the pitcher in the clean-up spot for kicks.
  • Leave game in the 7th inning to beat traffic.
  • Criticize Vin Scully. Note that doing this is not just grounds for termination, but is grounds for being shot into the heart of the sun.
  • Say that you wish the Dodgers had go-getters like Carlos Quentin.
  • Call AJ Ellis by the name of “DJ Elliot” for no apparent reason whatsoever.
  • Show up in Anaheim in a Angels uniform, see if you can get past security.
  • Sign Dwight Howard to play CF.
  • Give a long discussion on how you would approach 5-base baseball.
  • Donald Duck suit.
  • And the easiest way of all to get fired: keep having the team play .422 baseball.

The MVP of Yesterday (April 1st, 2013): Clayton Kershaw

In this new semi-daily feature that semi-replaces Picture of the Day, I will decide who was yesterday’s MVP…

Yesterday had plenty of possible MVPs: Bryce Harper and Stephen Strasburg showed why the Nationals are World Series favorites, Freddie Freeman had three hits and drove in three, Chris Ianetta drove in all three of the Angels’ runs against the Reds, and Jackie Bradley Jr. made a good first impression.

But the MVP for yesterday had to be Clayton Kershaw, who not only threw a complete game shut-out against the defending champion Giants, but also hit a home run.

MVP Standings:

Clayton Kershaw- 1

Long-Term Deals: The Way to the Future

Two things caught my eye this morning, and while on first glance you would think they aren’t related, in fact they may be tied together.

The first is an article by Jeff Passan on how the money involved with regional sports network deals, such as the one the Dodgers are expected to take that will be between $6 and $7 billion dollars, are going to widen the gap between the rich and poor in baseball.

The second is the news that Evan Longoria has signed a $100 million dollar extension with Tampa that will keep him with the team until as late as 2023, depending on options.
How are these connected? Well, in a word, the events of the first article will probably lead to us seeing more deals like the Longoria deal of the second article.

Consider: the bubble of money that Regional Sports Networks will bring the big market teams- amounts of money that not even revenue sharing will dent all of that much- will make it extremely hard for teams to keep top free agents from leaving. A team like Tampa will just simply be unable to outbid, even on a good day, one of the top markets. While of course there will be some exceptions such as “hometown discounts” and big markets botching negotiations, the fact is that the best way for a smaller market to keep talent will be to make sure that they never leave in the first place. The way to do that? Sign them up early, and sign them up often.

Longoria, for example, had already been signed to a contract extension early in his career, before he became his MVP self. That was a deal extremely kind to the Rays. This second deal is more in line with Longoria’s value, but is also good for the Rays (at least in the short-term), since it means that he won’t be leaving.

Longoria’s deal is just the latest in what has become a trend… but expect it to become the norm as time goes on.