In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I watch the Phillies play their first Spring Training game of the year because I’m a glutton for punishment.
1:07- Severino Gonzalez is pitching for the Phillies. He had a 7.92 ERA last year. Even going with the fact that it was only in 30 innings, that is what is known as “not good”.
1:08- The first pitch in the Philadelphia Phillies march to the World Series is a ball inside and BWAHAAHAHA I actually implied they might make the World Series, my bad.
1:11- Gonzalez walks Dalton Pompey. ONWARD TO VICTORY, CITIZENS OF THE THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE!
1:12- Ryan Howard shows that defense and throws Pompey out at second. Because, y’know, Spring Training. Who cares.
Feel like I say this every year but Ryan Howard looks svelte this spring
— Nick Stellini (@StelliniTweets) March 1, 2016
1:15- Chris Colabello is up. Meanwhile, at Twins’ camp, this is happening.
1:16- Chris Colabello hits a infield single that dies in just the right place. Phillies announcers already considering that Gonzalez won’t go his two assigned innings. Phillies Phever: Catch It!
1:18- As the Phillies announcers mention that this could be their opening day outfield, MLB Network’s volume inexplicably increases, as if screaming in terror. Although, to be fair, it does look like a good OF defensively.
1:19- Severino Gonzalez hits a guy. Bases loaded. Darwin Barney is up. So that’s where he ended up.
1:21- Darwin Barney has a 2-RBI double. I’m really regretting doing this with the Phillies.
1:23- The inning is over and I’m making myself lunch.
1:24- Oh dear god, it’s back and I haven’t had an opportunity to eat lunch.
1:29- Marcus Stroman 1-2-3s the Phillies and strikes out one. There was a discussion on how to pronounce the “Franco” in Maikel Franco. Help.
1:33- The required run-down of coaching changes. It happens every spring.
1:36- Gonzalez sends the Blue Jays down 1-2-3. What does this mean? Who the hell knows!
1:38- They just showed the Phanatic welcoming Phillies fans at the airport. I wish the Phanatic welcomed me at airports.
1:45- I get back from lunch just in time to see Carlos Ruiz hit a game-tying 2-run single. Clearly, the Phillies are in good shape this year if I’m eating lunch most of the time.
1:47- Bob McClure, Phillies pitching coach, likens Spring Training to a auto race. Weird. Gregory Infante pitching now for Philly.
1:55- Two-run double again from Darwin Barney. Darwin Barney MVP. Mark it down.
Darwin Barney #WeAreAllWitnesses
— Jays Journal (@JaysJournal) March 1, 2016
1:58- For those of you scoring at home… don’t.
2:02- Another Spring Training tradition is hawking the future promotions. Like a hat that gives you Phanatic hair. I want one.
2:06- Full disclosure: I’m ending this live-blog at 2:30 because I have other stuff to do.
2:08- HAHA, Freddy Galvis’ car got hit by a BP homer by Maikel Franco.
2:12- Another Spring Training position- gratuitous shots of beaches.
2:16- “The Darwin Barney Show”. Words actually just said.
2:17- Andy McPhail is on TV now, and has a hat that looks more suited to touring Jurassic Park.
2:18- J.P. Arencibia, who apparently is a Phillie now, goes deep to make it 4-3. Our first dinger of Spring Training on TV.
2:30- Well, it’s 2:30 and nothing interesting is happening. So I’m out. Later, everyone.