Tag Archives: 2016

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): A treasury of Seattle Mariners commercials

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In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I waste time on YouTube watching old Mariners ads.

It is one of those generally known facts that the Mariners have some of the best commercials in baseball. I’m not sure where and when this piece of wisdom first came into being, but it exists. So, let’s go back and look at some past Mariners ads, shall we?

2003: Bret Boone Bat Flip

It is unusual to think in this world where some people spent most of the last few seasons complaining about bat-flips that as early as 2003 there was an ad based upon the fact that Bret Boone had a bat flip.

2003: Ichiro Shift

What’s scary is that this isn’t so much a commercial so much as it is a documentary. I wonder how they got all the Athletics stuff, though. I mean, they even have the mascot there. That’s not exactly something you buy from a prop store. Maybe the conversation went like this:

“Hey, we need like 25 uniforms and the elephant suit.”

“Why?”

“We’re making a commercial that implies that even if every member of your roster was on the field, we’d still be able to get a hit off of you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, that is absurd.”

“It’s Ichiro.”

“Okay, that makes sense. We’ll get them to you next Tuesday.”

2004: Ichiro Autograph

The fact we never got a sitcom about Ichiro living in a small anytown Seattle suburb is greatly disappointing. Also, the idea that Ichiro could throw a ball to Spokane from Seattle (a distance of about 230 miles) is only slightly less realistic than his previous commercial.

2005: Ichiro and Raul Ibanez sell the Batter’s Box in a Telethon

“Dude.”

“Dude.”

2006: Jamie Moyer Tribute

What’s great about this one is that Jamie Moyer played parts of five more seasons after 2006.

2006: The Missing Ks

I like the devotion to the gag here, but it’s a bit “meh” compared to some of the other ads.

2006: Epidemic

I feel like “Ichiro’ing” with lawn equipment would be dangerous. But, hey, who am I to argue?

2006: Big Richie

Wait, is that Nick Punto as a catcher at the end?  He never played catcher!

2008: Fullness and Sheen

Somewhere, Mr. Burns trembles.

2008: L-Screen

Worth it if only for the question of what happened to the original L-screen.

2010: Two First Names

A) I totally forgot somehow that Cliff Lee and Felix Hernandez were on the same team. B) How did this conversation about two first names get started? I want to know.

2012: Impressions

Worth it if only for Ichiro quoting Indiana Jones.

2012: Nobody’s Perfect

I wonder if they had a giveaway of the ventriloquist doll?

2013: Wise ‘Ol Buffalo

Okay, that’s just weird.

2014: Chadwick

I applaud the Mariners for doing the history lesson.

2014: Crowned

It’s the Elvis that does it for me.

2015: Bat Control

This would be a better commercial if Robinson Cano didn’t have a (for him) down year in 2015.

2015: Where does it go?

I just saw an invisible arrow deflate the bouncy-castle of an Athletics’ fan. Man, why is it always the Athletics?

 

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I can’t find any 2016 Mariners ads yet, but I’m sure they will continue to be… uhhm… unique. b

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): The Future of Cespedes in 2016 Mets Camp

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In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I go over other ways that Yoenis Cespedes can arrive at Mets camp.

The big story this year in Mets’ camp hasn’t been the pitchers, or the fact they are coming in as defending National League champions. No, it’s been Yoenis Cespedes. He’s arrived in crazy cars and on a horse, when he hasn’t been buying pigs for $7,000 just to eat them.

So, I have used a crystal ball to stare into the future and see what the future holds for Yoenis Cespedes in Mets camp:

  • On March 4, Cespedes will arrive in a Aston Martin DB5, like James Bond drove.
  • On March 7, Cespedes and his entourage will go to an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet in Port St. Lucie. They will proceed to eat it out of business.
  • On March 9, Cespedes will fly an autogyro to Tampa, where he will play against the Yankees. He will hit a home run and unleash a massive bat-flip. Certain Yankee columnists will take this the wrong way. It will be glorious.
  • On March 12, Cespedes will arrive at Mets camp driving a go-kart.
  • On March 13, Cespedes will skip the game at the Marlins and instead take a helicopter to Disney World, where he will have a blast.
  • Aware that you should “Beware the Ides of March”, Cespedes will stay inside in his room all day and play video games.
  • From March 17 to 19, Cespedes will disappear to go undercover and takes part in the Arnold Palmer Invitational in Orlando. He will be leading when the Mets find him and haul him back to camp.
  • On March 21, he will arrive at the Mets facility in a DeLorean with Christopher Lloyd, who he has paid to reprise his role of Dr. Emmett Brown.
  • On March 23, he will arrive on a hovercraft.
  • March 25 will see him arrive at the facility in a Harrier jump-jet.
  • March 30 will see Cespedes arrive riding an elephant.
  • On March 31 and April 1, Cespedes will accompany the Mets to Vegas to play the Cubs. He will proceed to break the bank at the Luxor, and then leave Vegas flying a UFO from Area 51.

 

What’s scary is… some of these might actually come true!

 

World Baseball Classic News for March 1, 2016

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Here’s the latest WBC news as of March 1, 2016:

 

Team Germany will play exhibition games against three different Mexican League teams, as well as a team from the Brewers organization.

“Samurai Japan” has teamed up with the Anime series Mr. Osomatsu to help raise awareness for the team, both in the WBC and in other tournaments (where they generally don’t draw as well).

George Springer, who’s mother is from Puerto Rico, has apparently been recruited by Carlos Correa to play for Team Puerto Rico in the main tournament next year.

News on who will and will not be in the WBC qualifiers:

First off, the Mexican League will be allowing their players to play for Team Mexico.

Jake Sanchez of the Athletics organization will play for Mexico

Jose Quinanta of the White Sox is in for Colombia.

Sadly for Colombia, Julio Teheran will not be pitching for them.

The official rosters apparently come out tomorrow, so that’s something to keep an eye out for.

 

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): A running commentary on the first Spring Training Game of the Year

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In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I watch the Phillies play their first Spring Training game of the year because I’m a glutton for punishment.

1:07- Severino Gonzalez is pitching for the Phillies. He had a 7.92 ERA last year. Even going with the fact that it was only in 30 innings, that is what is known as “not good”.

1:08- The first pitch in the Philadelphia Phillies march to the World Series is a ball inside and BWAHAAHAHA I actually implied they might make the World Series, my bad.

1:11- Gonzalez walks Dalton Pompey. ONWARD TO VICTORY, CITIZENS OF THE THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE!

1:12- Ryan Howard shows that defense and throws Pompey out at second. Because, y’know, Spring Training. Who cares.

1:13-

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1:15- Chris Colabello is up. Meanwhile, at Twins’ camp, this is happening.

1:16- Chris Colabello hits a infield single that dies in just the right place. Phillies announcers already considering that Gonzalez won’t go his two assigned innings. Phillies Phever: Catch It!

1:18- As the Phillies announcers mention that this could be their opening day outfield, MLB Network’s volume inexplicably increases, as if screaming in terror. Although, to be fair, it does look like a good OF defensively.

1:19- Severino Gonzalez hits a guy. Bases loaded. Darwin Barney is up. So that’s where he ended up.

1:21- Darwin Barney has a 2-RBI double. I’m really regretting doing this with the Phillies.

1:23- The inning is over and I’m making myself lunch.

1:24- Oh dear god, it’s back and I haven’t had an opportunity to eat lunch.

1:29- Marcus Stroman 1-2-3s the Phillies and strikes out one. There was a discussion on how to pronounce the “Franco” in Maikel Franco. Help.

1:33- The required run-down of coaching changes. It happens every spring.

1:36- Gonzalez sends the Blue Jays down 1-2-3. What does this mean? Who the hell knows!

1:38- They just showed the Phanatic welcoming Phillies fans at the airport. I wish the Phanatic welcomed me at airports.

1:45- I get back from lunch just in time to see Carlos Ruiz hit a game-tying 2-run single. Clearly, the Phillies are in good shape this year if I’m eating lunch most of the time.

1:47- Bob McClure, Phillies pitching coach, likens Spring Training to a auto race. Weird. Gregory Infante pitching now for Philly.

1:55- Two-run double again from Darwin Barney. Darwin Barney MVP. Mark it down.

1:57-

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1:58- For those of you scoring at home… don’t.

2:02- Another Spring Training tradition is hawking the future promotions. Like a hat that gives you Phanatic hair. I want one.

2:06- Full disclosure: I’m ending this live-blog at 2:30 because I have other stuff to do.

2:08- HAHA, Freddy Galvis’ car got hit by a BP homer by Maikel Franco.

2:12- Another Spring Training position- gratuitous shots of beaches.

2:16- “The Darwin Barney Show”. Words actually just said.

2:17- Andy McPhail is on TV now, and has a hat that looks more suited to touring Jurassic Park.

2:18- J.P. Arencibia, who apparently is a Phillie now, goes deep to make it 4-3. Our first dinger of Spring Training on TV.

2:30- Well, it’s 2:30 and nothing interesting is happening. So I’m out. Later, everyone.

World Baseball Classic Update for February 26, 2016

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Hello, everybody. Here’s some WBC news from the last few weeks, in no particular order:

The Mexican League and the Mexican Baseball Federation continue to squabble, making it unlikely that any Mexican leaguers will partake in the qualifying. However, I’ve also seen some tweets that indicate that this has been solved and that Mexican League players will take part. I’ll let you know when I have it cleared up.

Yovani Gallardo had said that he was going to play for the Mexican team in the qualifiers, but that was before he signed with the Orioles, so that may change. Another iffy Mexican pitcher is Julio Urias, a top prospect for the Dodgers, who has said he will skip the qualifiers if it looks like he has a good chance of making the team.

A preliminary roster for Team Nicaragua (thanks to Max Wildstein) was released. This roster has since changed (you can find how it has in some of the other items) and would be pared down to 28 anyway, but it gives you a good idea of some of the players who will be on the team:

Omar Vizquel will be the manager of Team Venezuela next year. Bobby Abreu and Magglio Ordonez were candidates for the batting coach position, and it appears that Magglio won the job. Other tweets have confirmed that Eduardo Perez will be a bench coach, Roberto Espinoza will be the pitching coach, and Henry Blanco will be a bullpen coach. Also in Venezuelan news: Gregor Blanco wants to play for his country in the 2017 WBC.

The Spanish have announced their coaching staff for the upcoming qualifiers, led by Tigers Latin American director Manny Crespo.

Quebecois closing great Eric Gagne, meanwhile, will helm Team France.

Mike Griffin will manage the Czech team, while Trot Nixon (!) will be hitting coach.

Speaking of the Czechs, it appears that they will have more players with North American experience than last time thanks to players of Czech ancestry, such as John Straka, Brett Tomko, Mike Cervenak, and Alex Sogard. However, apparently Eric Sogard has been denied, unless if he hasn’t. I find it much less likely that he will take part, though. The Czechs will be playing exhibitions in Arizona ahead of the qualifiers.

Donovan Solano, now in the Yankees organization, is still deciding whether he will play for Colombia in the qualifiers or if he will stay in camp. However, he is listed in a list of MLB-affiliated players who are “confirmed” for Colombia:

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Dilson Herrera of the Mets, as said above, will definitely suit up for Team Colombia. Others listed in the above tweet (if it doesn’t show up): William Cuevas, Carlos Mario Diaz, Kevin Escorcia, Tayron Guerrero, Gregory Nappo, Jesus Posso, Mauricio Ramos, Reynaldo Rodriguez, Tito Polo, Harold Ramirez, and Carlos Vidal. Apparently a complete list for Colombia will be out on Saturday.

David Ortiz doesn’t think he’ll play for Team Dominican Republic next spring.

Carlos Ruiz has been authorized to play for Team Panama, which is huge, even if he isn’t as good as he used to be.

Dean Kremer, a pitcher for UNLV who’s parents are from Israel and who lives there during summers when he isn’t playing, hopes to play for Team Israel in the WBC qualifiers.

Elmer Reyes of the Braves organization will play for Nicaragua. Wuillian Vasquez, a Venezuelan-born player who has lived and played in Nicaragua for several years while also playing in Europe, is also eligible.

The German National team will have a exhibition game against the Tijuana Toros on March 9.

Quick run-down of other players who have been confirmed in/out for certain qualifying teams (from various Twitter sources found by @MaxWildstein):

Randall Delgado is out for Panama but Andy Otero is in.

Cheslor Cuthbert is out for Nicaragua, as is Wilton Lopez, who has an injury.

Luis Guillorme is in for Spain.

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Now, this was a lot of news. Maybe too much. And I probably missed some. And for that reason, I’m glad to say that starting now, WBC Updates will be FAR more frequent, occurring AT LEAST once a week, but at times happening on a daily or every-other-daily basis.

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): The Orioles Physicals

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In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Earlier installments can be found here. Today, I talk about the most trying trial in sports: the Baltimore Orioles’ physical process, which has infamously torpedoed several deals in the past.

From: Peter Angelos

To: Orioles Training Staff

Subject: Physicals

 

Gentleman,

As you know, we here at the Baltimore Orioles pride ourselves on having players who are in top physical form. We cannot risk somebody getting injured, we are putting too much money into them to have that happen. Therefore, I’d like to remind you of our process:

  1. The usual stuff the other teams do. They don’t go far enough, but they are on the right track.
  2. We then do the usual stuff again a second time, just to make sure.
  3. The doctor shall slowly toss a baseball to the the player. They must catch it. We need to make sure that they have good reflexes!
  4. There is a heavy bat in the clubhouse that only the truly healthy can lift. The would-be acquisition must lift this bat to prove their vigor. Yes, even the pitchers. Especially the pitchers.
  5. Crabcakes. They must eat them. No Baltimore Oriole can be expected to not eat crabcakes. If they cannot eat crabcakes, or are allergic to them, they are not worthy of being Baltimore Orioles.
  6. We then do the usual again for a third time, again to make sure.
  7. 10 push-ups. No exceptions.
  8. Sadly, we have been told we can no longer have would-be signings swim across Baltimore Harbor naked. In lieu of this, we’ll just have to do the usual stuff for a fourth time.
  9. They must allow us to stare into their souls. It’s awkward to just sit there while a doctor or trainer stares at you, but it is necessary.
  10. Ask me if I actually want to pay them that much money or for that many years. If I say no, just say you found something wrong.

Sincerely,

P. Angelos

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2016): The Giants Will Win Because It’s An Even Year

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In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post (of varying amounts of seriousness) about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2016 season. Last year’s installments can be found here. Today, we get the easy part out of the way, with the sure-to-be-2016 champion San Francisco Giants.

The San Francisco Giants have won the World Series in 2010, 2012 and 2014.

They did not win the World Series in 2009, 2011, 2013 or 2015. In fact, they didn’t even make the playoffs.

So, clearly, history tells us that there is no way that the Giants don’t win the World Series this year. It is inevitable, like the sun rising in the east or a spring training report that somebody is in the best shape of their lives.

Why have the Giants done so well in even years? Maybe it’s just random circumstance. Maybe it’s some strange effect related to President Obama being in office, and it will end once his second term is up. Maybe the Giants like Olympic years.

But for whatever reason, every even years has ended with Buster Posey giving a big hug to somebody. That will, clearly, happen again this year. The only question is who he will be hugging and what team they will be beating.

World Baseball Classic Update for February 9, 2016

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As we barrel towards the World Baseball Classic Qualifiers, here’s the latest news:

 

The Run-Up to the Sydney Qualifiers:

First off, the most important news for all of us is how we’ll be able to watch it. And good news! In the USA and Canada, all games will be on the World Baseball Classic website! Go to the link to see how else you can watch it, as select games will be on TV on MLB Network and all games will be on ESPN in the Pacific Rim area, although some games will be tape-delayed.

There have been some changes to rosters since they were first announced. Perhaps the most notable addition has been that infielder Gift Ngoepe has been added to South Africa. Probably the best African baseball player in history, Gift is now on the Pirates’ 40-man roster, which probably delayed it being official.

Various teams have been playing informal warm-up games in the run-up to the qualifiers. You can see pictures and info on some of New Zealand’s play on their Facebook page, for example.

The New Zealanders will be wearing #37 on their uniforms in memory of Lincoln Holdzkom, who died in a car accident last year.

In other WBC news:

Tickets are now on sale for the Panama City portion of the Qualifiers.

Attention Britons and people with fairly close British ancestry: the United Kingdom’s baseball team is holding open tryouts on Sunday, March 6th!

Athletics catching prospect Bruce Maxwell, who was born in Germany, will be part of the German team in their qualifying tournament.

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There are a few other stories I’ve missed, but I’m hard at work on the WBC Qualifier preview for Sydney, so those other stories will have to wait until next time!

 

 

(Blogathon ’16) WBC News for January 29, 2016

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This post is part of the 2016 Baseball Continuum Blogathon For Charity, benefiting the Roswell Park Alliance Foundation. The Roswell Park Alliance Foundation is the charitable arm of Roswell Park Cancer Institute and funds raised will be “put to immediate use to increase the pace from research trials into improved clinical care, to ensure state-of-the-art facilities, and to help improve the quality of life for patients and their families.” Please donate through the Blogathon’s GoFundMe page.

It’s time for a World Baseball Classic update! With the first qualifiers coming up, more news has started to come out. Let’s take a look at some of the news:

Sydney Qualifying Pool Rosters and Schedules released:

On Wednesday, the rosters and schedules for the Sydney qualifying pool came out. They can be found over here on Baseball America. I’ll have a more thorough preview as we get closer to the event, but it’s definitely a case where Australia should be considered the heavy favorite, full of players with experience in MLB or the Minors. After Australia, it’s a fight for the second spot to face them in a winner-take-all game to get to the main tournament. Clay Rapada is probably the most notable player outside of the Australians, as he will be playing for the Philippines, the country of his father’s birth, before retiring. Former All-Star Jason Bartlett, also of Filipino descent, was also expected to play, but I don’t see him on the roster.

News from other qualifying pools:

As I mentioned last time, the qualifiers, unlike the main tournament, are not events where MLB teams are required to allow 40-man roster players to take part if there’s an overlap with official team acitivites. This will most hurt a team like Mexico, where the Blue Jays are unlikely to allow their three Mexican players from taking part in the March qualifier in Mexicali.

Jon Morosi, one of the best people to follow for WBC news, had information on his Twitter feed on the German team, who will be managed by Garth Iorg (yes, that Garth Iorg). Depending on what difficulties Mexico has, they could be a threat in Mexicali, even with Max Kepler likely skipping as he tries to win a spot on the Twins, they will have Donald Lutz, one of the few Germans with MLB experience.

Bruce Chen, who retired last season, is apparently willing to pitch for Panama.

Other WBC News:

Ozzie Guillen is totally up for managing Team Venezuela in 2017.

 

And that’s it… for now.

Keep an eye out for more WBC news on the Baseball Continuum as it occurs.

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At 9 AM: International Baseball Culture

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This post has been part of the 2016 Baseball Continuum Blogathon For Charity, benefiting the Roswell Park Alliance Foundation. The Roswell Park Alliance Foundation is the charitable arm of Roswell Park Cancer Institute and funds raised will be “put to immediate use to increase the pace from research trials into improved clinical care, to ensure state-of-the-art facilities, and to help improve the quality of life for patients and their families.” Please donate through the Blogathon’s GoFundMe page.

My super-duper-short prediction for NFL Conference Championship Weekend, 2016.

Aside

The Patriots and Panthers will win.