“What are we going to do this week, Dan?”
“The same thing we do most weeks, readers… try to find Bizarre Baseball Culture!”
(JUMP)
Bizarre Baseball Culture: Pinky (and the Brain) At the Bat
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Tag Archives: baseball
A Quick Book Review: “Cellar Dwellers” by Jonathan Weeks
So, I finally broke down and started reading eBooks. I dunno how I’ll do with it, since I so much like the feel of the paper page and reading things on a computer always seems to lead me to getting distracted a lot, but, hey, it’ll let me read some books I otherwise wouldn’t have read, such as this one: Cellar Dwellers, by Jonathan Weeks
As the name suggests, this book is about the crummiest teams in baseball history, ranging from the 1890 Pittsburgh Alleghenys to the 2003 Tigers. Each chapters is about a team, and gives some background on how the team became so crummy, some bright spots (for example, a 21-year-old Walter Johnson went 13-25 on the 1909 Senators despite a 2.22 ERA) and particularly bad players, while also spreading in some color about how baseball was at the time.
Overall, it’s a good breezy read, full of little anecdotes (some of which may be apocryphal, given old-time baseball writers love of exaggeration) and horrific statistics that further show how bad some of the teams covered were. There is even a bit at the end that features “dishonorable mentions”.
However, there are some sins of omission, with some of my favorite stories or bad teams not making the cut. For example, Weeks does not include Eddie Kolb of the 1899 Cleveland Spiders, who was a clerk and semi-pro player who was hired from a local tobacco shop to pitch the final game of the season. Seriously, that really happened, and I was kind of disappointed it wasn’t included.
That is a small quibble, however. Overall, while hardly a groundbreaking work by any means, I’d recommend Cellar Dwellers to anybody looking for a quick read about bad teams.
This book was reviewed using an eBook from my local library’s website.
Link
Another summary/picture article on the Rochester Red Wings is up at Twinkie Town.
The Spectrum of Braun Tweets
In the hours since the Ryan Braun news broke, you could see a wide variety of responses. Here are the types I found… I am not including examples as a way to protect the innocent and/or guilty. In addition, many tweets may be crosses between the below.
The Purely Informational Tweet: Tells us what’s happening, how people are reacting, give us further details, etc.
The “He had it coming” Tweet: Self-explanatory.
The “He should apologize” Tweet: He should apologize to his teammates, he should apologize to that sample-collector, he should apologize to the arbitrator, he should apologize to the fans, he should apologize to his family, he should apologize to those who defended him, he should apologize to Matt Kemp for winning the 2011 MVP Award instead of him, etc.
The “Not Enough” Tweet: Suggesting that Braun got off easy. Other suggestions can range anywhere from 100 games to some who suggest expunging Braun from the record books, banning him for life and then shooting him on a rocket towards the heart of the Sun. Only slightly exaggerating.
The “Who Cares?” Tweet: Somebody either says they don’t care about PED use anymore or don’t see what the big deal is because the Brewers are already out of playoff contention.
The “A-Rod’s Next” Tweet: Self-explanatory.
The “Tie this into another event” Tweet: Ranging from the rather apt comparison of the reaction to Braun’s suspension to the reaction to the suspension of the NFL’s Von MIller to the rather silly, such as saying that this means that the Royal Baby won’t be named “Ryan”.
The “Get off your high horses” Tweet: Again, self-explanatory, usually aimed either at sportswriters or MLB itself.
The “MLB is just as bad” Tweet: Focuses on the fact that some of the methods that MLB has used in these investigation are rather suspect morally or ethically. In extreme cases this may appear to be an attack on MLB instead of a condemnation of both MLB and Braun.
The “Anti-Semitic” Tweet: I haven’t seen any, but given the fact that this is Twitter and some real scumbags are on it, I’m sure they exist.
The “Woah” Tweets: People are so stunned at this development that they just can say “wow” or “woah” or something similar.
Any types I’m missing?
Bizarre Baseball Culture: Sub-Zero, Shootings, and Blasted Bulbs
One of the most underused but coolest (no pun intended) superpowers is that involving ice. I’m not sure why I think this. Perhaps it’s because of the Western New Yorker in me who full knows what it’s like to fall on your butt on a icy day, or maybe it’s because it’s a contrast to all the superpowers that rely upon warm temperatures or fire.
Either way, it’s kind of a bummer that so few heroes seem to have it- it seems to be more of a villain power. There’s Mr. Freeze, for example, and Captain Cold. The only ice-hero I can think of off the top of my head is Iceman from the X-Men.
But there is also one called Sub-Zero, a Venusian who landed on Earth and used his freezing powers to fight crime in stories published by Novelty Press.
…I don’t know why a Venusian would have ice powers either. But he did appear in a baseball story, so he’s now going to be in the rare company of superheroes who have been featured in BIZARRE BASEBALL CULTURE!
This story, from December 1940 in Blue Bolt Comics #7, can be found here, starting on page 21.
Things to look for in the second half
The second half starts tomorrow! Here’s what to watch for:
The Wild East: The craziest and most interesting division in baseball will remain the American League East, with four teams over .500 and another that could conceivably do so (the Blue Jays). Can Boston keep it up? Can the Orioles or Rays finally get a good enough winning streak to overtake them? Will the Yankees finally decide whether they are a good team or a bad one? Can the Blue Jays finally put it together, or are they headed towards a giant flop?
Trade Deadline… without that many big names: By the end of the month, the following players may be traded: Matt Garza, Justin Morneau, Marlon Byrd, maybe Jesse Crain and… jeez, these are hardly game changers, aren’t they? I mean, they certainly are players that can decide the outcomes of games, and even one game can often make a difference between playoffs or not, but it feels like the days of big names getting moved at the deadline are at an end. Well, they are unless the Phillies finally give up on the year and start shopping Cliff Lee around.
Record Chases: Chris Davis is aiming for the AL HR record. Manny Machado has his sights on the season doubles record. Raul Ibanez is gunning for HRs in a season by somebody over 40. Can any of them do it?
Pirates! Will they collapse again? Will they finally make the playoffs for the first time since Barry Bonds was skinny? Heck, will they finish .500 or better? Outlook good, but, well, it would be foolish to make assumptions.
Yasiel Puig. Can he keep it up, or will he turn out to be a flash-in-the-pan?
Well, we start finding out tomorrow…
This is how Mariano Rivera’s final year will be remembered
Cal Ripken went hitless in his final game. In fact, with some rare exceptions like Ted Williams, most baseball greats go out quietly. It isn’t a surprise, really, since most of the time they are retiring for the good reason they don’t have what it takes to be a good everyday player anymore.
Which is why last night’s All-Star Game was important. Much like with Ripken in 2001’s All-Star Game, it allowed us, as a baseball culture, to say goodbye to Mariano Rivera. Oh, he will pitch again, probably many times. There’s even a chance he could still have more chances to close out a game in October. But none of them will be as perfect as last night: there he stood, alone, just him and his catcher (the highly underrated Salvador Perez of the Royals) with both fans and opponents giving him a round of applause for the finest career a reliever has ever had.
And then, of course, he put down all three batters he faced, 1-2-3. No hits, runs or walks allowed.
Yes, it wasn’t perfect- he came out and pitched in the 8th inning, as Jim Leyland took an abundance of caution to make sure he played in the game (although I highly doubt that a bullpen that had Joe Nathan, Jesse Crain and Glen Perkins in it would have given up a 3-run lead). But in some ways, it was fitting, a passing of the torch from Rivera to Nathan and the other closers, young and old, who hold the role that Mariano has defined: the near-invincible 9th inning guy.
Of course, it is unlikely that we will see another player like Mariano again. The increased parity of baseball makes it unlikely that anybody will ever be able to have as many World Series saves, since it’s unlikely that a team will so dominate baseball again like the Yankees of the late 90s did. It’s also unlikely that anybody will ever be able to truly throw the cutter as well as Mariano Rivera– if they could, they’d probably have shown up by now. But the real reason why we won’t see another Rivera is simple: he, like Ripken, is a almost singular icon, not so much a man as he is an ideal.
“This is what we wish all our athletes could be like,” we say, “intimidating but friendly, ruthless on the field but charitable off it, respectful of the game’s history even as they make it themselves”
And although there may one day be another closer like that, perhaps one even more dominating than Rivera, it likely won’t matter, for our nostalgia will have made the last man to wear Number 42 just as untouchable in our minds as the most famous man to wear number 42.
And last night proved it, and gave fans of every team a chance to show it.
Five questions to be answered in the 2013 All-Star Game
So, the All-Star Game is tonight, so here are some questions that will be answered tonight:
- What non-Met will get the biggest cheer? It’s a given that the Mets will get the biggest cheer, but who will get the biggest cheer outside of them? I’m going to guess Mariano Rivera, making his final All-Star Game appearance.
- How will Matt Harvey do? The last time a starter started in his “home” park for the ASG, it was Roger Clemens in 2004. That didn’t go well for the then-Astro, as he gave up six runs in the first inning. Harvey has to do better than that, I have to think.
- The Youth Movement: This is the first starting appearance for Mike Trout and Bryce Harper, and the first All-Star Game period for Manny Machado, amongst other young players who are expected to be mainstays in these games for years to come. As the All-Star Game is often a place where players on lesser-seen teams are first exposed to the wider world, how they show themselves is going to be important, as first impressions mean alot.
- Who’s gonna do this seriously? There are two types of All-Star participants: those that buy into the concept and play more-or-less like they would any other game, and those that just get their innings done and then get on their plane back home after a few quick interviews… possibly before the game even ends. Similarly, there are varying degrees of All-Star managers- there are those that are trying to win and will try to keep most (but not all- there will still be some defensive replacements and pinch-hitters early on no matter what, especially for players who have some injury problems) of their position player starters in for at least two or three plate appearances before trying to get everybody in in around sixth or seventh inning, and then there are those that start putting in everyone they can find in, like, the fourth or fifth inning. Possibly earlier, if they get an early lead.
- Mariano Rivera’s farewell inning: With the Yankees’ playoff chances in perilous position, it’s possible this will be his last appearance before a national audience. Even if the game is a blowout, this should be a good reason to stay up.
See you tomorrow, everyone.
HUMOR: Cable TV descriptions of baseball movies that must be made
You know how when you come across a movie on cable, they give you a brief description?
Well, here are some baseball movies that must be made, and what their cable TV description would be:
BOBBLEHEAD THE MOVIE: A 1960s bobblehead is forced to come out of retirement to lead his team over more realistically-proportioned action figures. Starring the vocal talents of Kevin Costner, Rainn Wilson.
MURDER MOST FOWL: After the shocking murder of Mrs. Met, the San Diego Chicken must lead the hunt for the mascot responsible. Starring Ted Giannoulas and the guy in the Mr. Met costume.
BAY OF PUIGS: A greedy baseball agent finances a invasion of Cuba, looking to open it up in order to find more talent to sign. Starring William Dafoe and Pitbull.
MINOR PROBLEMS: The GM of a minor league baseball team must escape assassins sent to kill him after a disastrous “Russian Heritage Night”. Starring Paul Giamatti and Zooey Deschanel.
HOSS: The tale of the pitching deity and dapper gent is brought to life. Rated NC-17 for language, violence, excessive drinking, opium use and syphilis.
DINOSAUR BASEBALL: Dinosaurs play baseball —*Television explodes from the awesomeness before you can finish reading it.*
The last time the Twins won a series in the Bronx…
The Twins beat the Yankees today, winning their first series in the Bronx since they won this May 10, 2001 game. How long ago was that?
- It was 4448 days, or 12 years, 2 months and 4 days, ago.
- Tom Kelly was still the manager of the Twins, who were under threat of contraction at the time.
- The Twin Towers were still standing, Ted Williams and George Harrison were still alive, Barack Obama was a Illinois State Senator, and the first Apple Stores had not yet opened (they opened later that month).
- The curses of the Bambino, the Black Sox, Billy Penn and Coogan’s Bluff all were still active.
- Joe Mauer had not yet been drafted and some thought he’d instead pursue a college football career.
- Cal Ripken, Mark McGwire and Tony Gwynn were still active MLB players.
- Heck, Deion Sanders was an active MLB player at the time.
- The top movie that week was The Mummy Returns.
- “All For You” by Janet Jackson and “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child were the hit songs at the time.
- Bryce Harper was eight-and-a-half years old.
- Star Trek: Voyager was still on the air, 24 had not yet begun to air.
- There had not yet been a Spider-Man movie released. Nor had there been any Harry Potter movies released.
- Gas was under $2 a gallon.
- Of the players in that game, only Mariano Rivera, Torii Hunter, AJ Pierzynski, LaTroy Hawkins, Derek Jeter and Andy Pettitte are still active. That is actually a higher number than I expected.
- All-Star Games did not give home-field advantage in the World Series.
- The best-selling nonfiction book in America was Seabiscuit. The book, that is, not the movie. The movie wouldn’t be made for another two years.
- The Nintendo 64 and the first Playstation were the most up-to-date video game systems.
- Michael Jordan had not yet had his comeback with the Washington Wizards.
- However, some thing have not changed: Vin Scully is still in the booth for the Dodgers, The Simpsons is still on the air, Bud Selig is still commissioner, nobody has approached Cy Young‘s win record, and, of course, the Cubs still haven’t won a World Series since 1908.
The Baseball Continuum 