Can I interest you in Cy Young’s padlock?

There have plenty of weird finds on eBay of tangentially-related-to-baseball memorabilia. Cy Young’s coffee pot, a Mr. Peanut costume that hung out with Reggie Jackson, Lefty Grove’s tax returns, and, of course, STAN MUSIAL’S WALLET AND IT’S CONTENTS!

And to this, we add another piece of memorabilia that has been touched by a Hall of Famer: a padlock owned by Cy Young!

Screen Shot 2016-08-18 at 4.26.46 PM

Yes, for the low price of $149.95 (plus shipping), you can own this padlock that was owned at one point by the winningest pitcher of all time. Of course, you may “need a locksmith to open it,” says the listing, but how can you say no to  “a rare piece from the Pitching Legend.” I mean, never mind that it had nothing to do with baseball whatsoever and is probably like countless other padlocks around the world… Cy Young’s fingers touched this thing. And that’s gotta be worth almost 150 dollars, right?

Right?

IT CAME FROM MLB.COM AUCTIONS: The Tigers’ Snack Container

Due to freelance duties, there will be no “Headlines From Around The Continuum” today. However, to make up for it, I bring you another weird internet baseball auction! To be more specific, this one isn’t on eBay, but from MLB.com’s own auction site. I present to you, the 2015 Frito Lay Snack Container from the Detroit Tigers Dugout!

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 9.38.46 AM

Yes, you can own a snack container that may have been grabbed-from by Justin Verlander, Miguel Cabrera, pre-trade Yoenis Cespedes and David Price, and Jose Iglesias! Just think of the sesame seeds taken from this container that were then chewed by such greatness! If not for the insane 15 dollars shipping, I would surely be first in line to bid for this piece of baseball history*!

I mean, yeah, you could be going after the jersey that Jose Bautista was wearing when he unleashed the Bat-Flip of the Gods, but that’s just one player! This snack container represents the history of an entire (last-place) team!

Bid now!

 

*No, no I wouldn’t. It’s a freaking snack container. This entire thing is tongue-in-cheek, as you probably figured out.

IT CAME FROM eBAY: Lefty Grove’s Tax Returns!

In the grand tradition of previous blog entries on weird baseball auctions, I now give you…LEFTY GROVE’S TAX RETURNS!

Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 2.00.02 PMYes, you can, for the low price of $995.00, own Lefty Grove’s tax returns from 1925. His rookie year! Yes, YOU can own the tax returns of a Hall of Famer. It’s not quite Stan Musial’s wallet or Reggie Jackson’s pal Mr. Peanut, but it’s something.

So… what did Lefty make his rookie year?

Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 2.12.44 PMOkay, so…. he made $7404.00. That’s $101,600 in 2015 money! That would be below the minimum MLB salary today!

Also, I like the occupation of “Ball Player”. That’s a cool thing to have on a tax form.

You, too, can own a Minecraft Costume once owned by the Schilling Family

Although nowhere near as creepy as going through Stan Musial’s wallet or as (arguably) outright random as a Mr. Peanut costume that hung out with Reggie Jackson, today’s strange find on eBay is a nice mix of both. Now available on eBay: a Minecraft box mask from the Curt Schilling estate, just in time for Halloween!

“But Dan,” you say, “Curt Schilling isn’t dead! He recovered from that cancer!”

Correct! And thank goodness for that. Instead, his estate sale was a result of a disastrous post-career stint into the Video Game industry that sent him into bankruptcy. Or maybe it was because they just wanted to downsize and so they got rid of a bunch of things. Depends on what story you read.

Still, as a result of that estate sale, we see stuff like this on eBay:

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 2.42.36 PMNow, a few things to keep in mind:

1) There is no way of proving this actually was worn by Curt Schilling or (more likely) any of his kids. There isn’t any certificate of authenticity or anything.

2) Look at how likely it is that that thing could break in shipping!

3) It’s kind of disturbing that that belonged to Curt Schilling’s kids and now it’s just being sold online.

4) If you absolutely must have a Minecraft head, I’m sure that there are cheaper ones available, especially once you take shipping into account.

Still, if YOU want this unique piece of tangentially baseball-related “history”… you can.

Roger Maris’ golf clubs could be yours!

It’s that time again for unusual finds on eBay. This time, it’s not a mascot costume that stood next to a baseball legend, but rather a non-baseball sports item used by a baseball legend. One who, while not a Hall of Famer, long held the most famous single-season record in sports and in the minds of many still deserves to hold it.

Yes, you can buy the golf clubs of Roger Maris. And they were made by Hillerich and Bradsby, AKA Louisville Slugger!

Screen Shot 2014-09-21 at 12.35.03 PMI’m not entirely sure why you’d want them, especially for the 9-thousand-dollar price. I mean, there is the weird curiosity factor that Mr. 61-in-61 held those golf clubs, but just having them isn’t going to suddenly make you him, and it’s not like they hold any sort of baseball history value either, as a bat or a glove would.

But, hey, I’m not the one buying them…

(By the way, the Babe and George Didrikson Zaharias Foundation also has Joe DiMaggio’s driver for auction. That’s only 800 bucks!)

A Mr. Peanut suit that totally hung out with Reggie Jackson, now on eBay

Cy Young’s coffee pot. Freaky Mr. Met costume. Stan Musial’s wallet. Mickey Mantle’s music. Mike Trout’s Little League card. All have been available/are available from eBay. All have been on the Baseball Continuum.

And now, I am proud to give you… a Mr. Peanut costume once worn next to Reggie Jackson. Yes, not a Mr. Peanut costume once worn by Reggie Jackson (as hilarious as that would be), but rather one reportedly worn next to him as a publicity stunt during the media blitz for the release of the REGGIE Bar.

Screen Shot 2014-09-07 at 11.21.54 AMYes, you can own that Mr. Peanut suit. And also get a commemorative wrapper of a REGGIE bar! Say, what does the Mr. Peanut suit look like now?

Screen Shot 2014-09-07 at 11.25.07 AMSomewhat nightmare-bringing, okay, but, still, truly a great part of… standing next to baseball history.

And all for the low, low, price of…

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Just under 16-thousand dollars.

Any takers? I’ve got about twenty bucks.

Somebody is selling a trading card of Mike Trout in Little League

In yet another case of eBay providing mankind access to anything possible, we now see the ultimate souvenir for the discerning Mike Trout aficionado (which is, to say, everyone): a card of the Millville Meteor back when he was a Cub.

“When was Mike Trout a Cub?”, you ask? I can understand, after all, as likely as it is that the Cubs would be able to squander away Mike Trout, it feels like that’s something you’d remember, right?

Well, that’s because it’s not the Chicago Cubs, but rather the Steelman Photo Cubs of the Millville American Cal Ripken League. Yes, it’s a baseball card of 11-year-old Mike Trout:

 

And it’s all available for the low, low, price of $8,927.27! It’s signed too! Yes, somebody not only went through the trouble to somehow track down a little league trading card from 2003, but they got Mike Trout to sign it. As far as I know, there are only a few types of people who would have been able to do that:

A) Mike Trout himself.

B) Mike Trout’s immediate family.

C) Mike Trout’s Little League teammates and coaches.

D) The guy who was hired to make and print these cards in the first place, who keeps copies of them just in case any of the kids become the greatest player on the planet.

E) A local bully who beat up Mike Trout and then took his lunch money and baseball card, which Trout had signed because he believed that if he became a big-leaguer one day, he’d better have had practiced his signature.

F) Somebody who Mike Trout should really consider putting a restraining order on.

Logically, one of them is who put this up on eBay.

Sadly, whoever acquired this didn’t find the true holy grail, as something that needs to be noted here is that this card lacks Trout’s Little League statistics. This is very important. I remember when I was growing up (and I’m, alas, older than Trout), I got my statistics on the back of my card. But, nope, all we get for Trout is this:

All that we can learn from this is that Mike Trout, when he was 11, was 5’1” and weighed 102 lbs. So, guess what, folks? Young Mike Trout was not fat! In fact, he was a little slim! That’s nice and all, but I wanted to see what his stats were. Was he a Pablo Sanchez-level secret weapon? We may never know…

Ever wondered what Mickey Mantle’s favorite music was? Wonder no more.

While it’s certainly no Stan Musial Wallet, this little thing now on eBay also is, uhm, unique: My Favorite Hits from Mickey Mantle. It’s…

a 1958 LP.

Of Mickey Mantle‘s favorite music.

So, what’s on it? Well, I’m sure as hell not paying $179.99 to find out the exact recordings (or even if there is a sale), but based on what the back of the sleeve says, I can figure it out and give you a reasonably good proximity of what sort of music (hint: a bit of jazz, country and pre-Rock’n’Roll pop) the Mick liked to listen to…

(JUMP)

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Thanks (?) Internet: You, too, can now go through a dead baseball legend’s wallet

While browsing eBay for baseball-related comics and Godzilla DVDs (easily two of the 50,000 best uses for eBay), I came across something interesting being auctioned that had originally come from an estate sale for Stan Musial. It’s not unprecedented, in fact, I’ve written about it before.

 

However, this is, to the best of my knowledge, the first time ever that you can go through a dead Hall of Famer’s wallet. Because, well…. Stan Musial’s wallet, and it’s contents, are currently for sale.

Screen Shot 2014-05-28 at 7.20.57 PMYeah. Seriously. If you ever were a creeper enough to want to own a now-dead Hall of Famer’s family photos, insurance cards, proof of CPR training, honorary sheriff membership, devotional image of Pope John Paul II and a few hundred bucks… now you can.

And, guess what? You can even see the late, great, Stan the Man’s address, phone number and social security number.

Seriously. I’m not sure if this is funny or disgusting. Or, possibly, both.

Well…Only the internet, I guess.

WACKINESS OF 2013: The Grand Cy Young Cloning Conspiracy Is Revealed On eBay

From July 31, one of the wackier bits of this year’s Continuum, originally published as “Can I interest you in Cy Young’s Coffee Pot? (Semi-Humor*)“:
While checking eBay for a share to Rochester Community Baseball (no luck!), I instead came across this.

If you don’t want to look at it or the link has gone dead, here’s what it is:

Screen Shot 2013-07-31 at 8.10.39 PMIt’s a coffee pot that belonged to Cy Young‘s estate, and thus, presumably, Cy Young himself. Yes, you too can pour coffee from the same pot as the winningest pitcher of all time for the low, low price of $999! You may think that price absurd, but you are forgetting that you would be having coffee from the same pot as A BASEBALL GOD. Just like how you will be getting the WORKSMANSHIP OF A BASEBALL GOD if you buy a toolbox from the Cy Young estate.

And that’s not all! Thanks to eBay, you also have the chance of having a flower vase that once belonged to Young, for the low price of $199.99! That’s the same price that can get you a hack saw made in 1879 that also was no doubt passed down through the Young family. Throw in an extra $375 and you can get Cy Young’s tie-clasp!

But, these are nothing compared to the crown jewel of Cy Young’s estate on eBay. No, they all pale in comparison to this:

Screen Shot 2013-07-31 at 8.28.38 PMCY YOUNG’S POCKET KNIFE.

Yes, you can buy CY YOUNG’S POCKET KNIFE off of eBay. Just imagine what this knife has been used for! For all we know, Denton True Young may once have gotten into a knife-fight with Ty Cobb using this. I mean, we’ll never know for sure, but it can’t be totally discounted, right?

However, my enthusiasm is dampened by the horrible truth that you may not have been able to glean from the above image. No, to see the truth, you must… ENHANCE!

Screen Shot 2013-07-31 at 8.39.53 PMLas Vegas, Nevada. What would Cy Young’s knife be doing in Sin City? Well, the truth is, it’s only in Las Vegas a nice legal fiction to hide the truth from us. You see, the real location of Cy Young’s pocket knife is actually about 83 miles northwest of Vegas at a US Military Facility. You know it better as AREA 51. And, deep below A51, a secret alliance of the Illuminati, Knights Templar and the Boras Corporation used blood on the knife to begin a cloning process of Cy Young. Sometime in the next 18 to 22 years, a wave of Cy Young clones will enter the majors, bringing with them the ability to throw complete games on short rest. The entire pitching economy will be overthrown, closers and relievers will be driven to the street, the Rolaids Relief Man award will go unawarded… while the conspirators will profit all the while…

You see, that is why they are now selling it, to get the evidence away from themselves.

“But,” you say, “why would they make it so expensive? It’s over 23 hundred dollars!”

And I say: Gambling debts. Even secret conspiracies did not see Florida Gulf Coast coming this March.

…Anyway. Now you know the truth. Yes… the truth.

Use it as you will.

*I say “semi-humor” because while I make several bad jokes and go on at least one bizarre tangent, it is true that this stuff is on sale on eBay.