Category Archives: Non-Baseball

Breaking OOTP, Episode 3: The Seattle MARIOners

Posted on by
5

BreakingOOTPlogo

In BREAKING OOTP, I push Out Of The Park Baseball to its limits in various scenarios. Some will answer questions, some will settle scores, and some will push Out Of The Park Baseball to its very limits, to see if I can literally cause the game engine to beg for mercy.

The Seattle Mariners are owned by Nintendo. This is well known. The Seattle Mariners are also coming off a very disappointing season. This is also well known.

But what if the Mariners had had Nintendo’s own playing for them?

MarinersMarioWONDER NO MORE!

(AND GO BELOW THE JUMP TO SEE THE ARTICLE, AND CLICK PICTURES TO MAKE THEM BIGGER)

Continue reading →

Breaking OOTP, Episode 2: ARENA BASEBALL

Posted on by
7

In BREAKING OOTP, I push Out Of The Park Baseball to it’s limits in various scenarios. Some will answer questions, some will settle scores, and some will push Out Of The Park Baseball to it’s very limits, to see if I can literally cause the game engine to beg for mercy.

This week, we are going with a simple idea: what if there was an Arena Baseball? The smallest possible field, with a fast astroturf, 42-foot-high walls to knock balls off of and easily lob high-reaching homers over. Something like this:

Screen Shot 2015-09-20 at 11.00.34 AM

And, what’s more, I’m telling the computer to approach this as if this is the 2015 MLB season, so they’ll use the same tendencies that MLB teams would.

This could get weird. Go below the jump to see how weird it gets (and click any pictures to make them larger):

Continue reading →

Breaking OOTP, Episode 1: PITCHERS vs. HITTERS

Posted on by
7

When my previous computer died, I lost the International Baseball Competition. I will try again next year. I might still have the original starting files to go on, and if I can find them, I will put them up so that you can do the IBC.

However, from the ashes of the 2015 IBC, there has risen…

BREAKING OOTP!

Yes, Out of the Park Baseball tasks me, so I must have it! I will force it to do things that it was not made to do, things that mankind was not meant to see simulated. Some will answer questions, some will settle scores, and some will push Out Of The Park Baseball to it’s very limits, to see if I can literally cause the game engine to beg for mercy.

(And, yes, this is basically Breaking Madden in OOTP form, you have a problem with that? Oh, and CLICK PICTURES TO MAKE THEM BIGGER.)

TODAY:

PITCHERS

vs.

HITTERS

Yes, for all time, the pitchers have waged war with those at the plate. But now, it is time to finally settle it once and for all, as a team made up entirely of pitchers will play a team made entirely up of hitters. And at the end of the day, ONLY ONE SHALL BE LEFT STANDING…. AFTER THE JUMP:

Continue reading →

For #NationalVideoGamesDay: How many sports has Mario played?

Posted on by
3

The question of who the greatest video game athlete of all time is a hard one. Many go with Bo Jackson, with good reason. Still others (such as the Cespedes BBQ duo) wisely go with the Secret Weapon himself, Pablo Sanchez. But for sheer variety, none can defeat Mario, the most versatile athlete in video game history, who, by coincidence, celebrates the 30th anniversary of the release of Super Mario Brothers today!

And today, to honor National Video Games Day, which I just found out exists like ten minutes ago on Twitter, I’m running down every single sport Mario has ever played.

(Go below the jump for more)

Continue reading →

Where You Can Buy “Bizarre Baseball Culture”

Posted on by
6

Alas, this is not proof that I have written a book about “Bizarre Baseball Culture”, as great as that would have been. Instead, it’s a rundown of places where things I have covered from Bizarre Baseball Culture can be purchased. Also, note that in many cases, particularly with the comics, it probably is cheaper to just look for the individual issue on eBay or elsewhere. In cases where the piece of Bizarre Baseball Culture is in the Public Domain or is available legally for free, I have not included it:

“The Double Trouble Header” can be found on Amazon on the DVD “Pokemon All-Stars: Chikorita”.

Mr. Go is available, with English subtitles, from YESASIA or from Amazon.

“Pinky At The Bat” is available on Pinky and the Brain Vol. 3, available at Amazon.

Action Comics #50 can be found in Superman Chronicles Volume 9, available from Things From Another World and Amazon.

Brittle Innings is available from Amazon.

The Franklin Richards baseball story can be found in the Franklin Richards: Son Of A Genius Ultimate Collection at Things From Another World and Amazon.

Captain America’s “Death Loads The Bases” story is collected in Marvel Masterworks Golden Age Captain America Volume 2, available from Things From Another World and Amazon.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #33, about Spider-Man and the Mets, can found in
Peter Parker, Spider-Man Vol. II: One Small Break, available from Amazon.

It’s Tokyo, Charlie Brown! can be found at Things From Another World and Amazon.

“The Twisker Pitcher” can be found in Popeye The Sailor: 1933-1938: The Complete First Volume, available from Amazon.

Fallout 4 can also be purchased from Amazon (click the link).

I will be updating this post in the future and will also be including it in all future Bizarre Baseball Culture run-downs.

Bizarre Baseball Culture: Popeye and “The Twisker Pitcher”

Posted on by
16

In Bizarre Baseball Culture, I take a look at some of the more unusual places where baseball has reared it’s head in pop culture and fiction.

Today we have a cartoon from 1937 starring Popeye the Sailor Man. It’s called The Twisker Pitcher, and it’s dark as hell. Seriously, this cartoon has…

A) Rampant steroid use (the spinach)

B) Violence, both on the field and in the stands

C) A near total disregard for rules and the space-time continuum

D) A total disregard for player safety.

Oof. So, go below the jump for a summary of this, the 47th Popeye Cartoon:

Continue reading →

The Best Unlicensed/Unofficial Baseball T-Shirts on the Internet

Posted on by
7

If you look hard enough online (as in… google “T-Shirts”), you can find sites that sell unlicensed and unofficial t-shirts. These T-shirts feature designs created by fans and basically only are allowed to exist because they are fairly small-scale operations- the equivalent of those random guys outside of a stadium- and no company is willing to sue them to oblivion because of the bad PR that would result from going after people who in essence are their biggest fans would be… bad. In addition, a lot (but certainly nowhere near all) of the t-shirts don’t technically break any laws and don’t actually use anything trademarked or copyrighted.

So, what type of stuff are we talking about? (go below the jump to see the rest of this)

Continue reading →

“Fantastic Four” Bizarre Baseball Cultures that are probably way better than the new movie

Posted on by
Reply

The new Fantastic Four movie recently came out. It was a total and utter disaster, with a Rotten Tomatoes score that can only be seen with a microscope and a box office performance so pitiful it couldn’t even win it’s week. It’s hardly surprising, really, as A) it was not made by Marvel itself, but rather FOX, which only has the rights to make these movies due to a deal it made way back in the early 1990s when Marvel was in the direst of financial straits, and B) it was trying to turn what is arguably the most optimistic and adventuresome of comic books into a dark and moody techno-thriller. I mean, seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!?

With luck, this failure will lead to the Fantastic Four and their stable of villains (most notably DOCTOR DOOM) back to the Marvel line, so we can see a real and proper movie featuring the FF, with Doctor Doom done right, and maybe with a Hulk-Thing fight thrown in, too, because after how badly this and the previous movies have hurt the reputation of “Marvel’s First Family”, they’re going to have to go all out to win back the crowd.

But, anyway, enough rambling. Here are the Bizarre Baseball Cultures that featured the Fantastic Four. All of them, no doubt, are better than the current film:

2007’s AAA Baseball Heroes

This Marvel/AAA Baseball crossover is great in that it shows off how the Fantastic Four are basically an ordinary family who happen to go exploring alternate dimensions and fight space-gods in their spare time. I mean, look, they all are at a ballgame together!

 

2007GiveawayComicPage1From what I understand, the latest movie has none of this stuff. And it flopped big time. Coincidence? I think not.

It also has a Hulk-Thing fight and this, the greatest image in the history of art:

Screen Shot 2013-06-18 at 5.53.33 PM2008’s AAA Baseball Heroes

This installment of the Marvel/AAA Baseball didn’t have as much Fantastic Four fun, really only featuring Reed Richards and the Mole-Man (who served as the villain). However, unlike the new movie, it showed the Fantastic Four as part of a large and vibrant universe and as close allies and friends with characters like Iron Man and Spider-Man. Which, if you ask me, instantly makes it better than whatever piece of crap 20th Century Fox just put out.

We also see the Mole Man cry tears of joy, which still makes me laugh for some reason:

And the Mole Man wept...

Franklin Richards: Son of a Genius Super Summer Spectacular

A good, innocent, all-ages comedy comic about Franklin Richards, the eldest son of Reed and Sue Richards, as he tries to cheat in little league by using a Flubber-like explosive substance on his bat to hit some home runs.

It also has this image:

Screen Shot 2013-11-30 at 10.37.50 PMAh, such light-hearted whimsy. If only the new Fantastic Four movie had some of that, maybe it wouldn’t have been called something that “not only scrapes the bottom of the barrel; it knocks out the floor and sucks audiences into a black hole of soul-crushing, coma-inducing dullness.”

That’s something that somebody actually wrote. Go look on Rotten Tomatoes.

Cameos

The FF has also made brief appearances in my run-down of Marvel Universe appearances by Yankee Stadium, and in the Bullseye miniseries. I won’t go in depth on those, as we are forgetting about the unofficial fifth member of the Fantastic Four, their arch-nemesis, the greatest villain in Marvel comics….

DOCTOR DOOM….. who once tried to kidnap Jeff Conine

Okay, this is what Doctor Doom apparently looks like in the new movie:

What. The. Hell. That isn’t Doctor Doom. That’s, like, I dunno, what would happen if evil C3PO had a baby with a Gothic Crash-Test Dummy. Jeez, is it THAT EFFING HARD, FOX?!?! THIS IS WHAT DOOM LOOKS LIKE, IN BATTLE WITH TWO OF HIS GREATEST FOES:

BILLY THE MARLIN and SPIDER-MAN!

MarlinsSpideyCoverI mean, jeez, that’s one of the most iconic things in comic books. It was the partial inspiration for Darth freaking Vader. But, NOOOOOOOO, you have to go make Doom like like a human vacuum cleaner that just got put in the oven for too long.

…Seriously, FOX, give back the rights to Marvel. They’re Disney. They have the money. They have the X-Men television rights you want. For the good of all that is holy. PLEASE!

(ahem)

Anyway, Doctor Doom made one of the most notable appearances in Bizarre Baseball Culture when he went and tried to kidnap Jeff Conine to force him to play for the Latverian national baseball team, only to be foiled by Billy the Marlin and Spider-Man. Truly, words cannot describe the greatness of this story. If Marvel ever gets the rights to Doctor Doom back, the very first thing they should do is make a deal with a Marlins and put into production a adaptation of this, albeit with Giancarlo Stanton taking the Jeff Conine spot.

I mean, look at this brilliance:

Screen Shot 2013-09-27 at 11.05.15 PMI mean, behold this:

Screen Shot 2013-09-28 at 1.44.38 PMSeriously, this is probably better than that new movie, and the Fantastic Four aren’t even in it!

…So, anyway, that concludes a look back at Fantastic Four appearances in Bizarre Baseball Culture. Keep an eye open in the next few days for the next installment, featuring Popeye the Sailor Man, a known user of performance-enhancing substances (i.e. spinach).

 

Bizarre Baseball Culture: Marvel’s Menagerie of Yankee Stadium appearances

Posted on by
15

In Bizarre Baseball Culture, I take a look at some of the more unusual places where baseball has reared it’s head in pop culture and fiction.

Sometimes, baseball plays a role in a piece of fiction, but not really a big enough one where I can do a full piece on it. Take Marvel, for example. The fact that 95% of their heroes are in New York City means that there are plenty of stories where heroes or villains visit Yankee Stadium but where their visit isn’t long enough or baseball-focused enough to really justify giving them the full Bizarre Baseball Culture treatment.

So, this time, I’m killing many birds with one stone and showcasing some of Yankee Stadium’s appearances in Marvel comics. Go below the jump to see some of them:

Continue reading →