Over at HOVG: “The Devil’s Baseball Dictionary” (with bonus Marlins entries in this post!)

Over at “Hall of Very Good” this week, Wisdom and Links brings you the Devil’s Baseball Dictionary, the only glossary of baseball terms that dares to tell you the truth, no matter how hard it hurts. For example, if I had written it today instead of yesterday, it would have contained the following (consider this the addendum):

Jennings, Daniel: Future Ex-Marlins Manager

Loria, Jeffrey: A foolish, selfish, idiot owner who will likely be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

Marlins: A good but sad joke.

Redmond, Mike: The luckiest man on Earth, because he no longer has to work for Jeffrey Loria.

Or something like that.

“30 Teams, 30 Posts” (2015): Giancarlo Stanton’s greatest dingers

In 30 Teams, 30 Posts, I write a post about every MLB team in some way in the lead-up to the beginning of the 2015 season. Previous installments can be found here. Today, we honor the Marlins the best way possible: Giancarlo Stanton dingers.

There are many ways to look at the Miami Marlins. You could look at a team on the rise, of Ichiro’s final days, or Jose Fernandez’s return from injury.

Or, you could just look at lots of Giancarlo Stanton home runs.

Let’s do that (after the jump):

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The Best of 2014: Giancarlo Stanton’s $325 Million Dollars in perspective

This article was originally published on November 15, 2014:

Giancarlo Stanton will, likely, get $325 million dollars in exchange for playing for the Miami Marlins for 13 more years (assuming he doesn’t get traded or opts out).

That, scientifically, is known as a buttload of money. How much money? Let’s go through it…

$500 Million: The value of the Miami Marlins, according to Forbes. Yes, Jeffrey Loria is basically saying that Giancarlo Stanton represents 65% of the value of the team itself.

It is over 20 times Babe Ruth‘s career earnings after inflation.

It is over 1.6 times Ken Griffey Jr.’s career earnings after inflation.

It is over 1.2 times Barry Bonds‘ career earnings after inflation.

$311 Million: The GDP of Sao Tome and Principe, a island nation in the Gulf of Guinea

$785.20: The amount of money every person in the City of Miami would receive if Giancarlo’s next contract was split up equally amongst them.

Giancarlo would be able to buy eight 1962-63 Ferrari 250 GTOs (which sold for $38 million dollars in August) with his proposed new contract’s money.

$294 Million: The cost, adjusted for inflation, of Titanic, the second most expensive (when adjusted for inflation) movie production of all time.

812.5 years: How long the President of United States would have to be in office to make that amount of money ($325 million) from the job.

$292,198,327: Total salary earnings (without inflation) of Shaquille O’Neil over his entire NBA career.

10: The number of NHL franchises, according to Forbes, with a value below $325 million dollars.

All of them: The number of MLS teams, according to Forbes, with a value below $325 million dollars. If he were in a soccer sort of mood, Giancarlo could afford to buy both the most and the third most valuable MLS team at the same time with the money he will earn over his next deal.

The original cost to build Fenway Park was $650,000 dollars, which is $15.9 million dollars when adjusted for inflation. That means that Giancarlo Stanton over the span of his hypothetical new contract would be able to build 20 Fenway Parks circa 1912, and he’d have enough money left to do just under half of a 21st.

$25 Million: How much Giancarlo would make in an average year under his new contract.

$10 Million: GDP of the island country of Niue. It would take Niue two and a half years of it’s entire gross domestic product to pay for one year of Giancarlo Stanton.

I don’t think anyone can imagine how big Mike Trout‘s deal will be if this is anything to go on.

Giancarlo Stanton’s $325 Million Dollars in perspective

Giancarlo Stanton will, likely, get $325 million dollars in exchange for playing for the Miami Marlins for 13 more years (assuming he doesn’t get traded or opts out).

That, scientifically, is known as a buttload of money. How much money? Let’s go through it…

$500 Million: The value of the Miami Marlins, according to Forbes. Yes, Jeffrey Loria is basically saying that Giancarlo Stanton represents 65% of the value of the team itself.

It is over 20 times Babe Ruth‘s career earnings after inflation.

It is over 1.6 times Ken Griffey Jr.’s career earnings after inflation.

It is over 1.2 times Barry Bonds‘ career earnings after inflation.

$311 Million: The GDP of Sao Tome and Principe, a island nation in the Gulf of Guinea

$785.20: The amount of money every person in the City of Miami would receive if Giancarlo’s next contract was split up equally amongst them.

Giancarlo would be able to buy eight 1962-63 Ferrari 250 GTOs (which sold for $38 million dollars in August) with his proposed new contract’s money.

$294 Million: The cost, adjusted for inflation, of Titanic, the second most expensive (when adjusted for inflation) movie production of all time.

812.5 years: How long the President of United States would have to be in office to make that amount of money ($325 million) from the job.

$292,198,327: Total salary earnings (without inflation) of Shaquille O’Neil over his entire NBA career.

10: The number of NHL franchises, according to Forbes, with a value below $325 million dollars.

All of them: The number of MLS teams, according to Forbes, with a value below $325 million dollars. If he were in a soccer sort of mood, Giancarlo could afford to buy both the most and the third most valuable MLS team at the same time with the money he will earn over his next deal.

The original cost to build Fenway Park was $650,000 dollars, which is $15.9 million dollars when adjusted for inflation. That means that Giancarlo Stanton over the span of his hypothetical new contract would be able to build 20 Fenway Parks circa 1912, and he’d have enough money left to do just under half of a 21st.

$25 Million: How much Giancarlo would make in an average year under his new contract.

$10 Million: GDP of the island country of Niue. It would take Niue two and a half years of it’s entire gross domestic product to pay for one year of Giancarlo Stanton.

I don’t think anyone can imagine how big Mike Trout‘s deal will be if this is anything to go on.

 

Bizarre Baseball Culture: BILLY THE MARLIN guest-starring SPIDER-MAN

In Bizarre Baseball Culture, I take a look at some of the more unusual places where baseball has reared it’s head in pop culture and fiction.

What if I told you there was a comic about Doctor Doom invading 90s Miami in order to kidnap Jeff Conine, only to be foiled by Spider-Man and Billy the Marlin? And what if I told you that Robb Nen also had a brief cameo? Would you be interested in this comic?

Well, seeing as how you are currently looking at this, the answer is probably yes. And, guess what? You are in luck, as this comic does exist:

MarlinsSpideyCover

Yes, it’s time for Bizarre Baseball Culture to jump into Billy the Marlin, guest-starring Spider-Man! Read below to see the background of it, or go below the jump for an overview and analysis:

The comic, as far as I can tell, was given out in either 1996 (that’s the copyright date in the book and also fits with some of the Marlins portrayed) or 1999 (that’s where it’s listed on some online websites, but doesn’t fit since Conine and Nen weren’t on the 1999 Marlins team) for Billy the Marlin’s birthday, a nice little treat for kids who were at the Marlins game. Based on what I could find, Billy the Marlin’s birthday is usually celebrated in August, so presumably this comic came out in August of 1996 or 1999 (I personally think 1996).

The writer and colorist of this comic was Mark Bernardo, who primarily worked as a colorist and editor at Marvel during the 1990s, primarily in Spider-Man books- he was one of the many cooks in the kitchen during the disastrous “Clone Saga” (which was apparently so complicated both in-story and out that I don’t quite understand it even from what I can find online).

Pencilling the story was Alex Saviuk, a prolific artist who is, according to the “Comic Book DB”, best known for his work involving Spider-Man, including a Sunday newspaper strip.

Greg Adams did inks, Janice Chiang did letters and Glenn Herdling was the Editor. All three had plenty of experience in comics.

End of background, go BELOW THE JUMP for overview and analysis (Warning: image-intensive!):

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PACES! (As of May 29, 2013)

  • Miguel Cabrera is on pace for 185 RBIs. The single-season record of 191 is held by Hack Wilson of the 1930 Chicago Cubs. The AL single-season record, held by Lou Gehrig of the 1931 Yankees, is 184.
  • Chris Davis is on pace for 53 HR. The Baltimore single-season record is 50, by Brady Anderson in 1995.
  • Jason Grilli is on pace for 65 saves. The single-season record is 62, held by Francisco Rodriguez in 2008.
  • The Miami Marlins are on pace for either 40 or 41 wins (depending on how you round it). Want to know what other team only had 40 wins? The 1962 New York Mets.

What does this mean? Well, nobody can be 100% sure, since keeping up a pace, especially one of historic significance, is hard. But it’s an interesting thing to think about…

HUMOR: The future of the Miami Marlins

As noted yesterday, the Marlins traded almost every notable player they had to the Blue Jays. However, there are reports that this is just the beginning, that Ricky Nolasco may be next, and that Logan Morrison may also be on the block! The Marlins are going back to their low-payroll ways, and nothing can stop owner Jeffrey Loria and his step-son/club president David Samson from going through with it. After all, they just got a big publicly-funded stadium, and now have gone and plunged their team into the abyss without giving a care in the world! Thanks Miami for the new stadium, and thanks for paying for it! I mean, we always were telling you that once we have a new stadium we wouldn’t have to do fire sales and be low-payroll! Now, excuse us, we have fire sales to run! And this is after they near-singlehandedly began the chain of events that sent the Montreal Expos into oblivion!

Given the fact that this is the third fire sale of the Marlins, and the second under Loria’s watch, we can easily extrapolate the future of the Miami Marlins (after the jump):

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Off-Topic Tuesday has been cancelled… BECAUSE OF A MEGATRADE

The planned “Off-Topic Tuesday” has been cancelled due to a shocking mega-trade: the Marlins have done it again. In their long history of firesales, they may have outdone themselves, trading almost every notable player they have not named Giancarlo Stanton, Ricky Nolasco or Logan Morrison for a bunch of prospects. Perhaps in a few years, should those prospects rise to become a good core, we will think this shrewd. However, right now, there are a few things to be noted:

1. Baseball in Miami has once again sustained a major wound.

2. They’ve alienated the one genuine star they have left:

3. The Blue Jays are now a legitimate power in the American League East, which will be even more of a madhouse than it was in 2012. 

 

More tomorrow.